Several people online are weighing in on whether a bride-to-be is being too strict with her wedding day dress code.
A woman shared in a post that went viral on Reddit’s popular AITA forum that she and her fiancé decided to set a renaissance fair dress code for their upcoming nuptials, which was sentimental to them since they met at a renaissance fair and are “massive fandom nerds, books, video games, movies, comics etc.”
She said she and her fiancé offered different options for people with different budgets and photo descriptions of how people could DIY their own renaissance outfit. They also told their guests to reach out if they had any trouble so they “could work something out.”
Some of the “low-budget” ideas they suggested for female guests was to wear a “normal floral spring/summer dress” with an addition of a “flower crown or belt.” For male guests, they could wear “a linen shirt” with “a piece of fabric tied” around the waist or a belt.
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The woman and her fiancé initially discussed the idea with close friends, who thought it was “great.” However, after they sent out the invitations, some of their other close friends and family did not think so.
Her close friends told her that people on both sides of the family were calling her a “bridezilla” for the dress code and said the couple was “being unreasonable” and “ridiculous.” They also said that people did not want to attend the wedding if the couple was “going to get all up in arms over clothing.”
The bride-to-be noted that her future mother-in-law and sister-in-law were “especially pissed” about the dress code.
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“I reached out to them… and they said I am ruining what is supposed to be [a] happy day by demanding people dress up like idiots,” she wrote. “They said everyone should be allowed to dress in what makes them feel comfortable and I am being very controlling.”
She said that her partner told her “not to listen to them,” but she couldn’t ignore it because “there are so many people saying it” — and she was “feeling pretty hurt” by what people were saying.
“I assumed people would react like this if I said everyone needed to go out and spend hundreds on costumes, but we went out of our way to include pictures and suggest as many very low budget options as possible,” she wrote. “I honestly didn't think it was a big deal, but now I am having second thoughts about the whole themed wedding idea.”
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Several people weighed in on the post, including one person who noted that they thought it was within the couple’s right to ask for the dress code. “I've been invited to holiday parties with color themed co*cktail attire dress codes, which I thought was completely entitled of the host. This is different, they included budget friendly options,” they wrote.
Another person shared that it was within a guest’s right not to attend if they didn’t want to follow the dress code, saying, "The average wedding attendee is not going to want to bother to dream up and gather supplies for even a cheap ren-fair costume. If I got this in the mail from a relative I’m only slightly fond of, I’m noping out.”
One commenter said that loved ones should try to follow the dress code if they can. They wrote, “I am not into dressing up or ‘nerd’ interest, but if someone I cared about wanted wedding photos to fit a theme, dang it, I'm matching the theme.”
Another shared their opinion that themed weddings are fine as long as it is optional. “Most of those people will never wear that outfit again; it's great that you're including low budget options, but thrifty and making a costume takes time, and either the time or the cost is asking a lot," they shared. "You can have the wedding themed as you want but have it optional for people to come in costume.”
