Public Domain Tales: Ulysses: Book Seven (2024)

Public Domain Tales: Ulysses: Book Seven is the one-hundred-and-twenty-first book in the Public Domain Tales series.

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What parallel courses did Bloom and Stephen follow returning?

Starting united both at normal walking pace from Beresford place theyfollowed in the order named Lower and Middle Gardiner streets andMountjoy square, west: then, at reduced pace, each bearing left,Gardiner’s place by an inadvertence as far as the farther corner ofTemple street: then, at reduced pace with interruptions of halt,bearing right, Temple street, north, as far as Hardwicke place.Approaching, disparate, at relaxed walking pace they crossed both thecircus before George’s church diametrically, the chord in any circlebeing less than the arc which it subtends.

Of what did the duumvirate deliberate during their itinerary?

Music, literature, Ireland, Dublin, Paris, friendship, woman,prostitution, diet, the influence of gaslight or the light of arc andglowlamps on the growth of adjoining paraheliotropic trees, exposedcorporation emergency dustbuckets, the Roman catholic church,ecclesiastical celibacy, the Irish nation, jesuit education, careers,the study of medicine, the past day, the maleficent influence of thepresabbath, Stephen’s collapse.

Did Bloom discover common factors of similarity between theirrespective like and unlike reactions to experience?

Both were sensitive to artistic impressions, musical in preference toplastic or pictorial. Both preferred a continental to an insular mannerof life, a cisatlantic to a transatlantic place of residence. Bothindurated by early domestic training and an inherited tenacity ofheterodox resistance professed their disbelief in many orthodoxreligious, national, social and ethical doctrines. Both admitted thealternately stimulating and obtunding influence of heterosexualmagnetism.

Were their views on some points divergent?

Stephen dissented openly from Bloom’s views on the importance ofdietary and civic selfhelp while Bloom dissented tacitly from Stephen’sviews on the eternal affirmation of the spirit of man in literature.Bloom assented covertly to Stephen’s rectification of the anachronisminvolved in assigning the date of the conversion of the Irish nation tochristianity from druidism by Patrick son of Calp*rnus, son of Potitus,son of Odyssus, sent by pope Celestine I in the year 432 in the reignof Leary to the year 260 or thereabouts in the reign of Cormac MacArt(† 266 A.D.), suffocated by imperfect deglutition of aliment at Slettyand interred at Rossnaree. The collapse which Bloom ascribed to gastricinanition and certain chemical compounds of varying degrees ofadulteration and alcoholic strength, accelerated by mental exertion andthe velocity of rapid circular motion in a relaxing atmosphere, Stephenattributed to the reapparition of a matutinal cloud (perceived by bothfrom two different points of observation Sandycove and Dublin) at firstno bigger than a woman’s hand.

Was there one point on which their views were equal and negative?

The influence of gaslight or electric light on the growth of adjoiningparaheliotropic trees.

Had Bloom discussed similar subjects during nocturnal perambulations inthe past?

In 1884 with Owen Goldberg and Cecil Turnbull at night on publicthoroughfares between Longwood avenue and Leonard’s corner andLeonard’s corner and Synge street and Synge street and Bloomfieldavenue. In 1885 with Percy Apjohn in the evenings, reclined against thewall between Gibraltar villa and Bloomfield house in Crumlin, barony ofUppercross. In 1886 occasionally with casual acquaintances andprospective purchasers on doorsteps, in front parlours, in third classrailway carriages of suburban lines. In 1888 frequently with majorBrian Tweedy and his daughter Miss Marion Tweedy, together andseparately on the lounge in Matthew Dillon’s house in Roundtown. Oncein 1892 and once in 1893 with Julius (Juda) Mastiansky, on bothoccasions in the parlour of his (Bloom’s) house in Lombard street,west.

What reflection concerning the irregular sequence of dates 1884, 1885,1886, 1888, 1892, 1893, 1904 did Bloom make before their arrival attheir destination?

He reflected that the progressive extension of the field of individualdevelopment and experience was regressively accompanied by arestriction of the converse domain of interindividual relations.

As in what ways?

From inexistence to existence he came to many and was as one received:existence with existence he was with any as any with any: fromexistence to nonexistence gone he would be by all as none perceived.

What act did Bloom make on their arrival at their destination?

At the housesteps of the 4th of the equidifferent uneven numbers,number 7 Eccles street, he inserted his hand mechanically into the backpocket of his trousers to obtain his latchkey.

Was it there?

It was in the corresponding pocket of the trousers which he had worn onthe day but one preceding.

Why was he doubly irritated?

Because he had forgotten and because he remembered that he had remindedhimself twice not to forget.

What were then the alternatives before the, premeditatedly(respectively) and inadvertently, keyless couple?

To enter or not to enter. To knock or not to knock.

Bloom’s decision?

A stratagem. Resting his feet on the dwarf wall, he climbed over thearea railings, compressed his hat on his head, grasped two points atthe lower union of rails and stiles, lowered his body gradually by itslength of five feet nine inches and a half to within two feet teninches of the area pavement and allowed his body to move freely inspace by separating himself from the railings and crouching inpreparation for the impact of the fall.

Did he fall?

By his body’s known weight of eleven stone and four pounds inavoirdupois measure, as certified by the graduated machine forperiodical selfweighing in the premises of Francis Froedman,pharmaceutical chemist of 19 Frederick street, north, on the last feastof the Ascension, to wit, the twelfth day of May of the bissextile yearone thousand nine hundred and four of the christian era (jewish erafive thousand six hundred and sixtyfour, mohammadan era one thousandthree hundred and twentytwo), golden number 5, epact 13, solar cycle 9,dominical letters C B, Roman indiction 2, Julian period 6617, MCMIV.

Did he rise uninjured by concussion?

Regaining new stable equilibrium he rose uninjured though concussed bythe impact, raised the latch of the area door by the exertion of forceat its freely moving flange and by leverage of the first kind appliedat its fulcrum, gained retarded access to the kitchen through thesubadjacent scullery, ignited a lucifer match by friction, set freeinflammable coal gas by turning on the ventco*ck, lit a high flamewhich, by regulating, he reduced to quiescent candescence and litfinally a portable candle.

What discrete succession of images did Stephen meanwhile perceive?

Reclined against the area railings he perceived through the transparentkitchen panes a man regulating a gasflame of 14 CP, a man lighting acandle of 1 CP, a man removing in turn each of his two boots, a manleaving the kitchen holding a candle.

Did the man reappear elsewhere?

After a lapse of four minutes the glimmer of his candle was discerniblethrough the semitransparent semicircular glass fanlight over thehalldoor. The halldoor turned gradually on its hinges. In the openspace of the doorway the man reappeared without his hat, with hiscandle.

Did Stephen obey his sign?

Yes, entering softly, he helped to close and chain the door andfollowed softly along the hallway the man’s back and listed feet andlighted candle past a lighted crevice of doorway on the left andcarefully down a turning staircase of more than five steps into thekitchen of Bloom’s house.

What did Bloom do?

He extinguished the candle by a sharp expiration of breath upon itsflame, drew two spoonseat deal chairs to the hearthstone, one forStephen with its back to the area window, the other for himself whennecessary, knelt on one knee, composed in the grate a pyre of crosslaidresintipped sticks and various coloured papers and irregular polygonsof best Abram coal at twentyone shillings a ton from the yard of MessrsFlower and M’Donald of 14 D’Olier street, kindled it at threeprojecting points of paper with one ignited lucifer match, therebyreleasing the potential energy contained in the fuel by allowing itscarbon and hydrogen elements to enter into free union with the oxygenof the air.

Of what similar apparitions did Stephen think?

Of others elsewhere in other times who, kneeling on one knee or on two,had kindled fires for him, of Brother Michael in the infirmary of thecollege of the Society of Jesus at Clongowes Wood, Sallins, in thecounty of Kildare: of his father, Simon Dedalus, in an unfurnished roomof his first residence in Dublin, number thirteen Fitzgibbon street: ofhis godmother Miss Kate Morkan in the house of her dying sister MissJulia Morkan at 15 Usher’s Island: of his aunt Sara, wife of Richie(Richard) Goulding, in the kitchen of their lodgings at 62 Clanbrassilstreet: of his mother Mary, wife of Simon Dedalus, in the kitchen ofnumber twelve North Richmond street on the morning of the feast ofSaint Francis Xavier 1898: of the dean of studies, Father Butt, in thephysics’ theatre of university College, 16 Stephen’s Green, north: ofhis sister Dilly (Delia) in his father’s house in Cabra.

What did Stephen see on raising his gaze to the height of a yard fromthe fire towards the opposite wall?

Under a row of five coiled spring housebells a curvilinear rope,stretched between two holdfasts athwart across the recess beside thechimney pier, from which hung four smallsized square handkerchiefsfolded unattached consecutively in adjacent rectangles and one pair ofladies’ grey hose with Lisle suspender tops and feet in their habitualposition clamped by three erect wooden pegs two at their outerextremities and the third at their point of junction.

What did Bloom see on the range?

On the right (smaller) hob a blue enamelled saucepan: on the left(larger) hob a black iron kettle.

What did Bloom do at the range?

He removed the saucepan to the left hob, rose and carried the ironkettle to the sink in order to tap the current by turning the faucet tolet it flow.

Did it flow?

Yes. From Roundwood reservoir in county Wicklow of a cubic capacity of2400 million gallons, percolating through a subterranean aqueduct offilter mains of single and double pipeage constructed at an initialplant cost of £ 5 per linear yard by way of the Dargle, Rathdown, Glenof the Downs and Callowhill to the 26 acre reservoir at Stillorgan, adistance of 22 statute miles, and thence, through a system of relievingtanks, by a gradient of 250 feet to the city boundary at Eustacebridge, upper Leeson street, though from prolonged summer drouth anddaily supply of 12 1/2 million gallons the water had fallen below thesill of the overflow weir for which reason the borough surveyor andwaterworks engineer, Mr Spencer Harty, C. E., on the instructions ofthe waterworks committee had prohibited the use of municipal water forpurposes other than those of consumption (envisaging the possibility ofrecourse being had to the impotable water of the Grand and Royal canalsas in 1893) particularly as the South Dublin Guardians, notwithstandingtheir ration of 15 gallons per day per pauper supplied through a 6 inchmeter, had been convicted of a wastage of 20,000 gallons per night by areading of their meter on the affirmation of the law agent of thecorporation, Mr Ignatius Rice, solicitor, thereby acting to thedetriment of another section of the public, selfsupporting taxpayers,solvent, sound.

What in water did Bloom, waterlover, drawer of water, watercarrier,returning to the range, admire?

Its universality: its democratic equality and constancy to its naturein seeking its own level: its vastness in the ocean of Mercator’sprojection: its unplumbed profundity in the Sundam trench of thePacific exceeding 8000 fathoms: the restlessness of its waves andsurface particles visiting in turn all points of its seaboard: theindependence of its units: the variability of states of sea: itshydrostatic quiescence in calm: its hydrokinetic turgidity in neap andspring tides: its subsidence after devastation: its sterility in thecircumpolar icecaps, arctic and antarctic: its climatic and commercialsignificance: its preponderance of 3 to 1 over the dry land of theglobe: its indisputable hegemony extending in square leagues over allthe region below the subequatorial tropic of Capricorn: themultisecular stability of its primeval basin: its luteofulvous bed: itscapacity to dissolve and hold in solution all soluble substancesincluding millions of tons of the most precious metals: its slowerosions of peninsulas and islands, its persistent formation ofhom*othetic islands, peninsulas and downwardtending promontories: itsalluvial deposits: its weight and volume and density: itsimperturbability in lagoons and highland tarns: its gradation ofcolours in the torrid and temperate and frigid zones: its vehicularramifications in continental lakecontained streams and confluentoceanflowing rivers with their tributaries and transoceanic currents,gulfstream, north and south equatorial courses: its violence inseaquakes, waterspouts, Artesian wells, eruptions, torrents, eddies,freshets, spates, groundswells, watersheds, waterpartings, geysers,cataracts, whirlpools, maelstroms, inundations, deluges, cloudbursts:its vast circumterrestrial ahorizontal curve: its secrecy in springsand latent humidity, revealed by rhabdomantic or hygrometricinstruments and exemplified by the well by the hole in the wall atAshtown gate, saturation of air, distillation of dew: the simplicity ofits composition, two constituent parts of hydrogen with one constituentpart of oxygen: its healing virtues: its buoyancy in the waters of theDead Sea: its persevering penetrativeness in runnels, gullies,inadequate dams, leaks on shipboard: its properties for cleansing,quenching thirst and fire, nourishing vegetation: its infallibility asparadigm and paragon: its metamorphoses as vapour, mist, cloud, rain,sleet, snow, hail: its strength in rigid hydrants: its variety of formsin loughs and bays and gulfs and bights and guts and lagoons and atollsand archipelagos and sounds and fjords and minches and tidal estuariesand arms of sea: its solidity in glaciers, icebergs, icefloes: itsdocility in working hydraulic millwheels, turbines, dynamos, electricpower stations, bleachworks, tanneries, scutchmills: its utility incanals, rivers, if navigable, floating and graving docks: itspotentiality derivable from harnessed tides or watercourses fallingfrom level to level: its submarine fauna and flora (anacoustic,photophobe), numerically, if not literally, the inhabitants of theglobe: its ubiquity as constituting 90% of the human body: the noxiousness of its effluvia in lacustrine% marshes,pestilential fens, faded flowerwater, stagnant pools in the waningmoon.

Having set the halffilled kettle on the now burning coals, why did hereturn to the stillflowing tap?

To wash his soiled hands with a partially consumed tablet ofBarrington’s lemonflavoured soap, to which paper still adhered, (boughtthirteen hours previously for fourpence and still unpaid for), in freshcold neverchanging everchanging water and dry them, face and hands, ina long redbordered holland cloth passed over a wooden revolving roller.

What reason did Stephen give for declining Bloom’s offer?

That he was hydrophobe, hating partial contact by immersion or total bysubmersion in cold water, (his last bath having taken place in themonth of October of the preceding year), disliking the aqueoussubstances of glass and crystal, distrusting aquacities of thought andlanguage.

What impeded Bloom from giving Stephen counsels of hygiene andprophylactic to which should be added suggestions concerning apreliminary wetting of the head and contraction of the muscles withrapid splashing of the face and neck and thoracic and epigastric regionin case of sea or river bathing, the parts of the human anatomy mostsensitive to cold being the nape, stomach and thenar or sole of foot?

The incompatibility of aquacity with the erratic originality of genius.

What additional didactic counsels did he similarly repress?

Dietary: concerning the respective percentage of protein and caloricenergy in bacon, salt ling and butter, the absence of the former in thelastnamed and the abundance of the latter in the firstnamed.

Which seemed to the host to be the predominant qualities of his guest?

Confidence in himself, an equal and opposite power of abandonment andrecuperation.

What concomitant phenomenon took place in the vessel of liquid by theagency of fire?

The phenomenon of ebullition. Fanned by a constant updraught ofventilation between the kitchen and the chimneyflue, ignition wascommunicated from the woodcuts of precombustible fuel to polyhedralmasses of bituminous coal, containing in compressed mineral form thefoliated fossilised decidua of primeval forests which had in turnderived their vegetative existence from the sun, primal source of heat(radiant), transmitted through omnipresent luminiferous diathermanousether. Heat (convected), a mode of motion developed by such combustion,was constantly and increasingly conveyed from the source ofcalorification to the liquid contained in the vessel, being radiatedthrough the uneven unpolished dark surface of the metal iron, in partreflected, in part absorbed, in part transmitted, gradually raising thetemperature of the water from normal to boiling point, a rise intemperature expressible as the result of an expenditure of 72 thermalunits needed to raise 1 pound of water from 50° to 212° Fahrenheit.

What announced the accomplishment of this rise in temperature?

A double falciform ejection of water vapour from under the kettlelid atboth sides simultaneously.

For what personal purpose could Bloom have applied the water so boiled?

To shave himself.

What advantages attended shaving by night?

A softer beard: a softer brush if intentionally allowed to remain fromshave to shave in its agglutinated lather: a softer skin ifunexpectedly encountering female acquaintances in remote places atincustomary hours: quiet reflections upon the course of the day: acleaner sensation when awaking after a fresher sleep since matutinalnoises, premonitions and perturbations, a clattered milkcan, apostman’s double knock, a paper read, reread while lathering,relathering the same spot, a shock, a shoot, with thought of aught hesought though fraught with nought might cause a faster rate of shavingand a nick on which incision plaster with precision cut and humectedand applied adhered: which was to be done.

Why did absence of light disturb him less than presence of noise?

Because of the surety of the sense of touch in his firm full masculinefeminine passive active hand.

What quality did it (his hand) possess but with what counteractinginfluence?

The operative surgical quality but that he was reluctant to shed humanblood even when the end justified the means, preferring, in theirnatural order, heliotherapy, psychophysicotherapeutics, osteopathicsurgery.

What lay under exposure on the lower, middle and upper shelves of thekitchen dresser, opened by Bloom?

On the lower shelf five vertical breakfast plates, six horizontalbreakfast saucers on which rested inverted breakfast cups, amoustachecup, uninverted, and saucer of Crown Derby, four whitegoldrimmed eggcups, an open shammy purse displaying coins, mostlycopper, and a phial of aromatic (violet) comfits. On the middle shelf achipped eggcup containing pepper, a drum of table salt, fourconglomerated black olives in oleaginous paper, an empty pot ofPlumtree’s potted meat, an oval wicker basket bedded with fibre andcontaining one Jersey pear, a halfempty bottle of William Gilbey andCo’s white invalid port, half disrobed of its swathe of coralpinktissue paper, a packet of Epps’s soluble cocoa, five ounces of AnneLynch’s choice tea at 2/- per lb in a crinkled leadpaper bag, acylindrical canister containing the best crystallised lump sugar, twoonions, one, the larger, Spanish, entire, the other, smaller, Irish,bisected with augmented surface and more redolent, a jar of Irish ModelDairy’s cream, a jug of brown crockery containing a naggin and aquarter of soured adulterated milk, converted by heat into water,acidulous serum and semisolidified curds, which added to the quantitysubtracted for Mr Bloom’s and Mrs Fleming’s breakfasts, made oneimperial pint, the total quantity originally delivered, two cloves, ahalfpenny and a small dish containing a slice of fresh ribsteak. On theupper shelf a battery of jamjars (empty) of various sizes andproveniences.

What attracted his attention lying on the apron of the dresser?

Four polygonal fragments of two lacerated scarlet betting tickets,numbered 8 87, 88 6.

What reminiscences temporarily corrugated his brow?

Reminiscences of coincidences, truth stranger than fiction,preindicative of the result of the Gold Cup flat handicap, the officialand definitive result of which he had read in the _Evening Telegraph_,late pink edition, in the cabman’s shelter, at Butt bridge.

Where had previous intimations of the result, effected or projected,been received by him?

In Bernard Kiernan’s licensed premises 8, 9 and 10 little Britainstreet: in David Byrne’s licensed premises, 14 Duke street: inO’Connell street lower, outside Graham Lemon’s when a dark man hadplaced in his hand a throwaway (subsequently thrown away), advertisingElijah, restorer of the church in Zion: in Lincoln place outside thepremises of F. W. Sweny and Co (Limited), dispensing chemists, when,when Frederick M. (Bantam) Lyons had rapidly and successivelyrequested, perused and restituted the copy of the current issue of the_Freeman’s Journal_ and _National Press_ which he had been about tothrow away (subsequently thrown away), he had proceeded towards theoriental edifice of the Turkish and Warm Baths, 11 Leinster street,with the light of inspiration shining in his countenance and bearing inhis arms the secret of the race, graven in the language of prediction.

What qualifying considerations allayed his perturbations?

The difficulties of interpretation since the significance of any eventfollowed its occurrence as variably as the acoustic report followed theelectrical discharge and of counterestimating against an actual loss byfailure to interpret the total sum of possible losses proceedingoriginally from a successful interpretation.

His mood?

He had not risked, he did not expect, he had not been disappointed, hewas satisfied.

What satisfied him?

To have sustained no positive loss. To have brought a positive gain toothers. Light to the gentiles.

How did Bloom prepare a collation for a gentile?

He poured into two teacups two level spoonfuls, four in all, of Epps’ssoluble cocoa and proceeded according to the directions for use printedon the label, to each adding after sufficient time for infusion theprescribed ingredients for diffusion in the manner and in the quantityprescribed.

What supererogatory marks of special hospitality did the host show hisguest?

Relinquishing his symposiarchal right to the moustache cup of imitationCrown Derby presented to him by his only daughter, Millicent (Milly),he substituted a cup identical with that of his guest and servedextraordinarily to his guest and, in reduced measure, to himself theviscous cream ordinarily reserved for the breakfast of his wife Marion(Molly).

Was the guest conscious of and did he acknowledge these marks ofhospitality?

His attention was directed to them by his host jocosely, and heaccepted them seriously as they drank in jocoserious silence Epps’smassproduct, the creature cocoa.

Were there marks of hospitality which he contemplated but suppressed,reserving them for another and for himself on future occasions tocomplete the act begun?

The reparation of a fissure of the length of 1 1/2 inches in the rightside of his guest’s jacket. A gift to his guest of one of the fourlady’s handkerchiefs, if and when ascertained to be in a presentablecondition.

Who drank more quickly?

Bloom, having the advantage of ten seconds at the initiation andtaking, from the concave surface of a spoon along the handle of which asteady flow of heat was conducted, three sips to his opponent’s one,six to two, nine to three.

What cerebration accompanied his frequentative act?

Concluding by inspection but erroneously that his silent companion wasengaged in mental composition he reflected on the pleasures derivedfrom literature of instruction rather than of amusem*nt as he himselfhad applied to the works of William Shakespeare more than once for thesolution of difficult problems in imaginary or real life.

Had he found their solution?

In spite of careful and repeated reading of certain classical passages,aided by a glossary, he had derived imperfect conviction from the text,the answers not bearing in all points.

What lines concluded his first piece of original verse written by him,potential poet, at the age of 11 in 1877 on the occasion of theoffering of three prizes of 10/-, 5/- and 2/6 respectively forcompetition by the _Shamrock_, a weekly newspaper?

 An ambition to squint At my verses in print Makes me hope that for these you’ll find room. If you so condescend Then please place at the end The name of yours truly, L. Bloom.

Did he find four separating forces between his temporary guest and him?

Name, age, race, creed.

What anagrams had he made on his name in youth?

Leopold BloomEllpodbomoolMolldopeloobBollopedoomOld Ollebo, M. P.

What acrostic upon the abbreviation of his first name had he (kineticpoet) sent to Miss Marion (Molly) Tweedy on the 14 February 1888?

 Poets oft have sung in rhyme Of music sweet their praise divine. Let them hymn it nine times nine. Dearer far than song or wine. You are mine. The world is mine.

What had prevented him from completing a topical song (music by R. G.Johnston) on the events of the past, or fixtures for the actual, years,entitled _If Brian Boru could but come back and see old Dublin now_,commissioned by Michael Gunn, lessee of the Gaiety Theatre, 46, 47, 48,49 South King street, and to be introduced into the sixth scene, thevalley of diamonds, of the second edition (30 January 1893) of thegrand annual Christmas pantomime _Sinbad the Sailor_ (produced by R.Shelton 26 December 1892, written by Greenleaf Whittier, scenery byGeorge A. Jackson and Cecil Hicks, costumes by Mrs and Miss Whelanunder the personal supervision of Mrs Michael Gunn, ballets by JessieNoir, harlequinade by Thomas Otto) and sung by Nelly Bouverist,principal girl?

Firstly, oscillation between events of imperial and of local interest,the anticipated diamond jubilee of Queen Victoria (born 1820, acceded1837) and the posticipated opening of the new municipal fish market:secondly, apprehension of opposition from extreme circles on thequestions of the respective visits of Their Royal Highnesses the dukeand duch*ess of York (real) and of His Majesty King Brian Boru(imaginary): thirdly, a conflict between professional etiquette andprofessional emulation concerning the recent erections of the GrandLyric Hall on Burgh Quay and the Theatre Royal in Hawkins street:fourthly, distraction resultant from compassion for Nelly Bouverist’snon-intellectual, non-political, non-topical expression of countenanceand concupiscence caused by Nelly Bouverist’s revelations of whitearticles of non-intellectual, non-political, non-topical underclothingwhile she (Nelly Bouverist) was in the articles: fifthly, thedifficulties of the selection of appropriate music and humorousallusions from _Everybody’s Book of Jokes_ (1000 pages and a laugh inevery one): sixthly, the rhymes, hom*ophonous and cacophonous,associated with the names of the new lord mayor, Daniel Tallon, the newhigh sheriff, Thomas Pile and the new solicitorgeneral, Dunbar PlunketBarton.

What relation existed between their ages?

16 years before in 1888 when Bloom was of Stephen’s present age Stephenwas 6. 16 years after in 1920 when Stephen would be of Bloom’s presentage Bloom would be 54. In 1936 when Bloom would be 70 and Stephen 54their ages initially in the ratio of 16 to 0 would be as 17 1/2 to 131/2, the proportion increasing and the disparity diminishing accordingas arbitrary future years were added, for if the proportion existing in1883 had continued immutable, conceiving that to be possible, till then1904 when Stephen was 22 Bloom would be 374 and in 1920 when Stephenwould be 38, as Bloom then was, Bloom would be 646 while in 1952 whenStephen would have attained the maximum postdiluvian age of 70 Bloom,being 1190 years alive having been born in the year 714, would havesurpassed by 221 years the maximum antediluvian age, that ofMethusalah, 969 years, while, if Stephen would continue to live untilhe would attain that age in the year 3072 A.D., Bloom would have beenobliged to have been alive 83,300 years, having been obliged to havebeen born in the year 81,396 B.C.

What events might nullify these calculations?

The cessation of existence of both or either, the inauguration of a newera or calendar, the annihilation of the world and consequentextermination of the human species, inevitable but impredictable.

How many previous encounters proved their preexisting acquaintance?

Two. The first in the lilacgarden of Matthew Dillon’s house, MedinaVilla, Kimmage road, Roundtown, in 1887, in the company of Stephen’smother, Stephen being then of the age of 5 and reluctant to give hishand in salutation. The second in the coffeeroom of Breslin’s hotel ona rainy Sunday in the January of 1892, in the company of Stephen’sfather and Stephen’s granduncle, Stephen being then 5 years older.

Did Bloom accept the invitation to dinner given then by the son andafterwards seconded by the father?

Very gratefully, with grateful appreciation, with sincere appreciativegratitude, in appreciatively grateful sincerity of regret, he declined.

Did their conversation on the subject of these reminiscences reveal athird connecting link between them?

Mrs Riordan (Dante), a widow of independent means, had resided in thehouse of Stephen’s parents from 1 September 1888 to 29 December 1891and had also resided during the years 1892, 1893 and 1894 in the CityArms Hotel owned by Elizabeth O’Dowd of 54 Prussia street where, duringparts of the years 1893 and 1894, she had been a constant informant ofBloom who resided also in the same hotel, being at that time a clerk inthe employment of Joseph Cuffe of 5 Smithfield for the superintendenceof sales in the adjacent Dublin Cattle market on the North Circularroad.

Had he performed any special corporal work of mercy for her?

He had sometimes propelled her on warm summer evenings, an infirm widowof independent, if limited, means, in her convalescent bathchair withslow revolutions of its wheels as far as the corner of the NorthCircular road opposite Mr Gavin Low’s place of business where she hadremained for a certain time scanning through his onelensed binocularfieldglasses unrecognisable citizens on tramcars, roadster bicyclesequipped with inflated pneumatic tyres, hackney carriages, tandems,private and hired landaus, dogcarts, ponytraps and brakes passing fromthe city to the Phoenix Park and _vice versa_.

Why could he then support that his vigil with the greater equanimity?

Because in middle youth he had often sat observing through a rondel ofbossed glass of a multicoloured pane the spectacle offered withcontinual changes of the thoroughfare without, pedestrians, quadrupeds,velocipedes, vehicles, passing slowly, quickly, evenly, round and roundand round the rim of a round and round precipitous globe.

What distinct different memories had each of her now eight yearsdeceased?

The older, her bezique cards and counters, her Skye terrier, hersuppositious wealth, her lapses of responsiveness and incipientcatarrhal deafness: the younger, her lamp of colza oil before thestatue of the Immaculate Conception, her green and maroon brushes forCharles Stewart Parnell and for Michael Davitt, her tissue papers.

Were there no means still remaining to him to achieve the rejuvenationwhich these reminiscences divulged to a younger companion rendered themore desirable?

The indoor exercises, formerly intermittently practised, subsequentlyabandoned, prescribed in Eugen Sandow’s _Physical Strength and How toObtain It_ which, designed particularly for commercial men engaged insedentary occupations, were to be made with mental concentration infront of a mirror so as to bring into play the various families ofmuscles and produce successively a pleasant rigidity, a more pleasantrelaxation and the most pleasant repristination of juvenile agility.

Had any special agility been his in earlier youth?

Though ringweight lifting had been beyond his strength and the fullcircle gyration beyond his courage yet as a High school scholar he hadexcelled in his stable and protracted execution of the half levermovement on the parallel bars in consequence of his abnormallydeveloped abdominal muscles.

Did either openly allude to their racial difference?


What, reduced to their simplest reciprocal form, were Bloom’s thoughtsabout Stephen’s thoughts about Bloom and about Stephen’s thoughts aboutBloom’s thoughts about Stephen?

He thought that he thought that he was a jew whereas he knew that heknew that he knew that he was not.

What, the enclosures of reticence removed, were their respectiveparentages?

Bloom, only born male transubstantial heir of Rudolf Virag(subsequently Rudolph Bloom) of Szombathely, Vienna, Budapest, Milan,London and Dublin and of Ellen Higgins, second daughter of JuliusHiggins (born Karoly) and Fanny Higgins (born Hegarty). Stephen, eldestsurviving male consubstantial heir of Simon Dedalus of Cork and Dublinand of Mary, daughter of Richard and Christina Goulding (born Grier).

Had Bloom and Stephen been baptised, and where and by whom, cleric orlayman?

Bloom (three times), by the reverend Mr Gilmer Johnston M. A., alone,in the protestant church of Saint Nicholas Without, Coombe, by JamesO’Connor, Philip Gilligan and James Fitzpatrick, together, under a pumpin the village of Swords, and by the reverend Charles Malone C. C., inthe church of the Three Patrons, Rathgar. Stephen (once) by thereverend Charles Malone C. C., alone, in the church of the ThreePatrons, Rathgar.

Did they find their educational careers similar?

Substituting Stephen for Bloom Stoom would have passed successivelythrough a dame’s school and the high school. Substituting Bloom forStephen Blephen would have passed successively through the preparatory,junior, middle and senior grades of the intermediate and through thematriculation, first arts, second arts and arts degree courses of theroyal university.

Why did Bloom refrain from stating that he had frequented theuniversity of life?

Because of his fluctuating incertitude as to whether this observationhad or had not been already made by him to Stephen or by Stephen tohim.

What two temperaments did they individually represent?

The scientific. The artistic.

What proofs did Bloom adduce to prove that his tendency was towardsapplied, rather than towards pure, science?

Certain possible inventions of which he had cogitated when reclining ina state of supine repletion to aid digestion, stimulated by hisappreciation of the importance of inventions now common but oncerevolutionary, for example, the aeronautic parachute, the reflectingtelescope, the spiral corkscrew, the safety pin, the mineral watersiphon, the canal lock with winch and sluice, the suction pump.

Were these inventions principally intended for an improved scheme ofkindergarten?

Yes, rendering obsolete popguns, elastic airbladders, games of hazard,catapults. They comprised astronomical kaleidoscopes exhibiting thetwelve constellations of the zodiac from Aries to Pisces, miniaturemechanical orreries, arithmetical gelatine lozenges, geometrical tocorrespond with zoological biscuits, globemap playing balls,historically costumed dolls.

What also stimulated him in his cogitations?

The financial success achieved by Ephraim Marks and Charles A. James,the former by his 1d bazaar at 42 George’s street, south, the latter athis 6 1/2d shop and world’s fancy fair and waxwork exhibition at 30Henry street, admission 2d, children 1d: and the infinite possibilitiesh*therto unexploited of the modern art of advertisem*nt if condensed intriliteral monoideal symbols, vertically of maximum visibility(divined), horizontally of maximum legibility (deciphered) and ofmagnetising efficacy to arrest involuntary attention, to interest, toconvince, to decide.

Such as?

K. 11. Kino’s 11/— Trousers.House of Keys. Alexander J. Keyes.

Such as not?

Look at this long candle. Calculate when it burns out and you receivegratis 1 pair of our special non-compo boots, guaranteed 1 candlepower. Address: Barclay and Cook, 18 Talbot street.Bacilikil (Insect Powder).Veribest (Boot Blacking).Uwantit (Combined pocket twoblade penknife with corkscrew, nailfile andpipecleaner).

Such as never?

What is home without Plumtree’s Potted Meat?


With it an abode of bliss.

Manufactured by George Plumtree, 23 Merchants’ quay, Dublin, put up in4 oz pots, and inserted by Councillor Joseph P. Nannetti, M. P.,Rotunda Ward, 19 Hardwicke street, under the obituary notices andanniversaries of deceases. The name on the label is Plumtree. Aplumtree in a meatpot, registered trade mark. Beware of imitations.Peatmot. Trumplee. Moutpat. Plamtroo.

Which example did he adduce to induce Stephen to deduce thatoriginality, though producing its own reward, does not invariablyconduce to success?

His own ideated and rejected project of an illuminated showcart, drawnby a beast of burden, in which two smartly dressed girls were to beseated engaged in writing.

What suggested scene was then constructed by Stephen?

Solitary hotel in mountain pass. Autumn. Twilight. Fire lit. In darkcorner young man seated. Young woman enters. Restless. Solitary. Shesits. She goes to window. She stands. She sits. Twilight. She thinks.On solitary hotel paper she writes. She thinks. She writes. She sighs.Wheels and hoofs. She hurries out. He comes from his dark corner. Heseizes solitary paper. He holds it towards fire. Twilight. He reads.Solitary.


In sloping, upright and backhands: Queen’s Hotel, Queen’s Hotel,Queen’s Hotel. Queen’s Ho...

What suggested scene was then reconstructed by Bloom?

The Queen’s Hotel, Ennis, county Clare, where Rudolph Bloom (RudolfVirag) died on the evening of the 27 June 1886, at some hour unstated,in consequence of an overdose of monkshood (aconite) selfadministeredin the form of a neuralgic liniment composed of 2 parts of aconiteliniment to 1 of chloroform liniment (purchased by him at 10.20 a.m. onthe morning of 27 June 1886 at the medical hall of Francis Dennehy, 17Church street, Ennis) after having, though not in consequence ofhaving, purchased at 3.15 p.m. on the afternoon of 27 June 1886 a newboater straw hat, extra smart (after having, though not in consequenceof having, purchased at the hour and in the place aforesaid, the toxinaforesaid), at the general drapery store of James Cullen, 4 Mainstreet, Ennis.

Did he attribute this hom*onymity to information or coincidence orintuition?


Did he depict the scene verbally for his guest to see?

He preferred himself to see another’s face and listen to another’swords by which potential narration was realised and kinetic temperamentrelieved.

Did he see only a second coincidence in the second scene narrated tohim, described by the narrator as _A Pisgah Sight of Palestine_ or _TheParable of the Plums_?

It, with the preceding scene and with others unnarrated but existent byimplication, to which add essays on various subjects or moral apothegms(e.g. _My Favourite Hero_ or _Procrastination is the Thief of Time_)composed during schoolyears, seemed to him to contain in itself and inconjunction with the personal equation certain possibilities offinancial, social, personal and sexual success, whether speciallycollected and selected as model pedagogic themes (of cent per centmerit) for the use of preparatory and junior grade students orcontributed in printed form, following the precedent of Philip Beaufoyor Doctor Dick or Heblon’s _Studies in Blue_, to a publication ofcertified circulation and solvency or employed verbally as intellectualstimulation for sympathetic auditors, tacitly appreciative ofsuccessful narrative and confidently augurative of successfulachievement, during the increasingly longer nights gradually followingthe summer solstice on the day but three following, videlicet, Tuesday,21 June (S. Aloysius Gonzaga), sunrise 3.33 a.m., sunset 8.29 p.m.

Which domestic problem as much as, if not more than, any otherfrequently engaged his mind?

What to do with our wives.

What had been his hypothetical singular solutions?

Parlour games (dominos, halma, tiddledywinks, spilikins, cup and ball,nap, spoil five, bezique, twentyfive, beggar my neighbour, draughts,chess or backgammon): embroidery, darning or knitting for thepoliceaided clothing society: musical duets, mandoline and guitar,piano and flute, guitar and piano: legal scrivenery or envelopeaddressing: biweekly visits to variety entertainments: commercialactivity as pleasantly commanding and pleasingly obeyed mistressproprietress in a cool dairy shop or warm cigar divan: the clandestinesatisfaction of erotic irritation in masculine brothels, stateinspected and medically controlled: social visits, at regularinfrequent prevented intervals and with regular frequent preventivesuperintendence, to and from female acquaintances of recognisedrespectability in the vicinity: courses of evening instructionspecially designed to render liberal instruction agreeable.

What instances of deficient mental development in his wife inclined himin favour of the lastmentioned (ninth) solution?

In disoccupied moments she had more than once covered a sheet of paperwith signs and hieroglyphics which she stated were Greek and Irish andHebrew characters. She had interrogated constantly at varying intervalsas to the correct method of writing the capital initial of the name ofa city in Canada, Quebec. She understood little of politicalcomplications, internal, or balance of power, external. In calculatingthe addenda of bills she frequently had recourse to digital aid. Aftercompletion of laconic epistolary compositions she abandoned theimplement of calligraphy in the encaustic pigment, exposed to thecorrosive action of copperas, green vitriol and nutgall. Unusualpolysyllables of foreign origin she interpreted phonetically or byfalse analogy or by both: metempsychosis (met him pike hoses), _alias_(a mendacious person mentioned in sacred scripture).

What compensated in the false balance of her intelligence for these andsuch deficiencies of judgment regarding persons, places and things?

The false apparent parallelism of all perpendicular arms of allbalances, proved true by construction. The counterbalance of herproficiency of judgment regarding one person, proved true byexperiment.

How had he attempted to remedy this state of comparative ignorance?

Variously. By leaving in a conspicuous place a certain book open at acertain page: by assuming in her, when alluding explanatorily, latentknowledge: by open ridicule in her presence of some absent other’signorant lapse.

With what success had he attempted direct instruction?

She followed not all, a part of the whole, gave attention with interestcomprehended with surprise, with care repeated, with greater difficultyremembered, forgot with ease, with misgiving reremembered, rerepeatedwith error.

What system had proved more effective?

Indirect suggestion implicating selfinterest.


She disliked umbrella with rain, he liked woman with umbrella, shedisliked new hat with rain, he liked woman with new hat, he bought newhat with rain, she carried umbrella with new hat.

Accepting the analogy implied in his guest’s parable which examples ofpostexilic eminence did he adduce?

Three seekers of the pure truth, Moses of Egypt, Moses Maimonides,author of _More Nebukim_ (Guide of the Perplexed) and Moses Mendelssohnof such eminence that from Moses (of Egypt) to Moses (Mendelssohn)there arose none like Moses (Maimonides).

What statement was made, under correction, by Bloom concerning a fourthseeker of pure truth, by name Aristotle, mentioned, with permission, byStephen?

That the seeker mentioned had been a pupil of a rabbinical philosopher,name uncertain.

Were other anapocryphal illustrious sons of the law and children of aselected or rejected race mentioned?

Felix Bartholdy Mendelssohn (composer), Baruch Spinoza (philosopher),Mendoza (pugilist), Ferdinand Lassalle (reformer, duellist).

What fragments of verse from the ancient Hebrew and ancient Irishlanguages were cited with modulations of voice and translation of textsby guest to host and by host to guest?

By Stephen: _suil, suil, suil arun, suil go siocair agus suil go cuin_(walk, walk, walk your way, walk in safety, walk with care).

By Bloom: _Kifeloch, harimon rakatejch m’baad l’zamatejch_ (thy templeamid thy hair is as a slice of pomegranate).

How was a glyphic comparison of the phonic symbols of both languagesmade in substantiation of the oral comparison?

By juxtaposition. On the penultimate blank page of a book of inferiorliterary style, entituled _Sweets of Sin_ (produced by Bloom and somanipulated that its front cover came in contact with the surface ofthe table) with a pencil (supplied by Stephen) Stephen wrote the Irishcharacters for gee, eh, dee, em, simple and modified, and Bloom in turnwrote the Hebrew characters ghimel, aleph, daleth and (in the absenceof mem) a substituted qoph, explaining their arithmetical values asordinal and cardinal numbers, videlicet 3, 1, 4, and 100.

Was the knowledge possessed by both of each of these languages, theextinct and the revived, theoretical or practical?

Theoretical, being confined to certain grammatical rules of accidenceand syntax and practically excluding vocabulary.

What points of contact existed between these languages and between thepeoples who spoke them?

The presence of guttural sounds, diacritic aspirations, epenthetic andservile letters in both languages: their antiquity, both having beentaught on the plain of Shinar 242 years after the deluge in theseminary instituted by Fenius Farsaigh, descendant of Noah, progenitorof Israel, and ascendant of Heber and Heremon, progenitors of Ireland:their archaeological, genealogical, hagiographical, exegetical,homiletic, toponomastic, historical and religious literaturescomprising the works of rabbis and culdees, Torah, Talmud (Mischna andGhemara), Massor, Pentateuch, Book of the Dun Cow, Book of Ballymote,Garland of Howth, Book of Kells: their dispersal, persecution, survivaland revival: the isolation of their synagogical and ecclesiasticalrites in ghetto (S. Mary’s Abbey) and masshouse (Adam and Eve’stavern): the proscription of their national costumes in penal laws andjewish dress acts: the restoration in Chanah David of Zion and thepossibility of Irish political autonomy or devolution.

What anthem did Bloom chant partially in anticipation of that multiple,ethnically irreducible consummation?

 Kolod balejwaw pnimah Nefesch, jehudi, homijah.

Why was the chant arrested at the conclusion of this first distich?

In consequence of defective mnemotechnic.

How did the chanter compensate for this deficiency?

By a periphrastic version of the general text.

In what common study did their mutual reflections merge?

The increasing simplification traceable from the Egyptian epigraphichieroglyphs to the Greek and Roman alphabets and the anticipation ofmodern stenography and telegraphic code in the cuneiform inscriptions(Semitic) and the virgular quinquecostate ogham writing (Celtic).

Did the guest comply with his host’s request?

Doubly, by appending his signature in Irish and Roman characters.

What was Stephen’s auditive sensation?

He heard in a profound ancient male unfamiliar melody the accumulationof the past.

What was Bloom’s visual sensation?

He saw in a quick young male familiar form the predestination of afuture.

What were Stephen’s and Bloom’s quasisimultaneous volitionalquasisensations of concealed identities?

Visually, Stephen’s: The traditional figure of hypostasis, depicted byJohannes Damascenus, Lentulus Romanus and Epiphanius Monachus asleucodermic, sesquipedalian with winedark hair.

Auditively, Bloom’s: The traditional accent of the ecstasy ofcatastrophe.

What future careers had been possible for Bloom in the past and withwhat exemplars?

In the church, Roman, Anglican or Nonconformist: exemplars, the veryreverend John Conmee S. J., the reverend T. Salmon, D. D., provost ofTrinity college, Dr Alexander J. Dowie. At the bar, English or Irish:exemplars, Seymour Bushe, K. C., Rufus Isaacs, K. C. On the stage,modern or Shakespearean: exemplars, Charles Wyndham, high comedian,Osmond Tearle († 1901), exponent of Shakespeare.

Did the host encourage his guest to chant in a modulated voice astrange legend on an allied theme?

Reassuringly, their place, where none could hear them talk, beingsecluded, reassured, the decocted beverages, allowing for subsolidresidual sediment of a mechanical mixture, water plus sugar plus creamplus cocoa, having been consumed.

Recite the first (major) part of this chanted legend.

 Little Harry Hughes and his schoolfellows all Went out for to play ball. And the very first ball little Harry Hughes played He drove it o’er the jew’s garden wall. And the very second ball little Harry Hughes played He broke the jew’s windows all.


How did the son of Rudolph receive this first part?

With unmixed feeling. Smiling, a jew, he heard with pleasure and sawthe unbroken kitchen window.

Recite the second part (minor) of the legend.

 Then out there came the jew’s daughter And she all dressed in green. “Come back, come back, you pretty little boy, And play your ball again.” I can’t come back and I won’t come back Without my schoolfellows all. For if my master he did hear He’d make it a sorry ball.”
 She took him by the lilywhite hand And led him along the hall Until she led him to a room Where none could hear him call.
 She took a penknife out of her pocket And cut off his little head. And now he’ll play his ball no more For he lies among the dead.


How did the father of Millicent receive this second part?

With mixed feelings. Unsmiling, he heard and saw with wonder a jew’sdaughter, all dressed in green.

Condense Stephen’s commentary.

One of all, the least of all, is the victim predestined. Once byinadvertence twice by design he challenges his destiny. It comes whenhe is abandoned and challenges him reluctant and, as an apparition ofhope and youth, holds him unresisting. It leads him to a strangehabitation, to a secret infidel apartment, and there, implacable,immolates him, consenting.

Why was the host (victim predestined) sad?

He wished that a tale of a deed should be told of a deed not by himshould by him not be told.

Why was the host (reluctant, unresisting) still?

In accordance with the law of the conservation of energy.

Why was the host (secret infidel) silent?

He weighed the possible evidences for and against ritual murder: theincitations of the hierarchy, the superstition of the populace, thepropagation of rumour in continued fraction of veridicity, the envy ofopulence, the influence of retaliation, the sporadic reappearance ofatavistic delinquency, the mitigating circ*mstances of fanaticism,hypnotic suggestion and somnambulism.

From which (if any) of these mental or physical disorders was he nottotally immune?

From hypnotic suggestion: once, waking, he had not recognised hissleeping apartment: more than once, waking, he had been for anindefinite time incapable of moving or uttering sounds. Fromsomnambulism: once, sleeping, his body had risen, crouched and crawledin the direction of a heatless fire and, having attained itsdestination, there, curled, unheated, in night attire had lain,sleeping.

Had this latter or any cognate phenomenon declared itself in any memberof his family?

Twice, in Holles street and in Ontario terrace, his daughter Millicent(Milly) at the ages of 6 and 8 years had uttered in sleep anexclamation of terror and had replied to the interrogations of twofigures in night attire with a vacant mute expression.

What other infantile memories had he of her?

15 June 1889. A querulous newborn female infant crying to cause andlessen congestion. A child renamed Padney Socks she shook with shocksher moneybox: counted his three free moneypenny buttons, one, tloo,tlee: a doll, a boy, a sailor she cast away: blond, born of two dark,she had blond ancestry, remote, a violation, Herr Hauptmann Hainau,Austrian army, proximate, a hallucination, lieutenant Mulvey, Britishnavy.

What endemic characteristics were present?

Conversely the nasal and frontal formation was derived in a direct lineof lineage which, though interrupted, would continue at distantintervals to more distant intervals to its most distant intervals.

What memories had he of her adolescence?

She relegated her hoop and skippingrope to a recess. On the duke’slawn, entreated by an English visitor, she declined to permit him tomake and take away her photographic image (objection not stated). Onthe South Circular road in the company of Elsa Potter, followed by anindividual of sinister aspect, she went half way down Stamer street andturned abruptly back (reason of change not stated). On the vigil of the15th anniversary of her birth she wrote a letter from Mullingar, countyWestmeath, making a brief allusion to a local student (faculty and yearnot stated).

Did that first division, portending a second division, afflict him?

Less than he had imagined, more than he had hoped.

What second departure was contemporaneously perceived by him similarly,if differently?

A temporary departure of his cat.

Why similarly, why differently?

Similarly, because actuated by a secret purpose the quest of a new male(Mullingar student) or of a healing herb (valerian). Differently,because of different possible returns to the inhabitants or to thehabitation.

In other respects were their differences similar?

In passivity, in economy, in the instinct of tradition, inunexpectedness.


Inasmuch as leaning she sustained her blond hair for him to ribbon itfor her (cf neckarching cat). Moreover, on the free surface of the lakein Stephen’s green amid inverted reflections of trees her uncommentedspit, describing concentric circles of waterrings, indicated by theconstancy of its permanence the locus of a somnolent prostrate fish (cfmousewatching cat). Again, in order to remember the date, combatants,issue and consequences of a famous military engagement she pulled aplait of her hair (cf earwashing cat). Furthermore, silly Milly, shedreamed of having had an unspoken unremembered conversation with ahorse whose name had been Joseph to whom (which) she had offered atumblerful of lemonade which it (he) had appeared to have accepted (cfhearthdreaming cat). Hence, in passivity, in economy, in the instinctof tradition, in unexpectedness, their differences were similar.

In what way had he utilised gifts (1) an owl, 2) a clock, given asmatrimonial auguries, to interest and to instruct her?

As object lessons to explain: 1) the nature and habits of oviparousanimals, the possibility of aerial flight, certain abnormalities ofvision, the secular process of imbalsamation: 2) the principle of thependulum, exemplified in bob, wheelgear and regulator, the translationin terms of human or social regulation of the various positions ofclockwise moveable indicators on an unmoving dial, the exactitude ofthe recurrence per hour of an instant in each hour when the longer andthe shorter indicator were at the same angle of inclination,_videlicet_, 5 5/11 minutes past each hour per hour in arithmeticalprogression.

In what manners did she reciprocate?

She remembered: on the 27th anniversary of his birth she presented tohim a breakfast moustachecup of imitation Crown Derby porcelain ware.She provided: at quarter day or thereabouts if or when purchases hadbeen made by him not for her she showed herself attentive to hisnecessities, anticipating his desires. She admired: a naturalphenomenon having been explained by him to her she expressed theimmediate desire to possess without gradual acquisition a fraction ofhis science, the moiety, the quarter, a thousandth part.

What proposal did Bloom, diambulist, father of Milly, somnambulist,make to Stephen, noctambulist?

To pass in repose the hours intervening between Thursday (proper) andFriday (normal) on an extemporised cubicle in the apartment immediatelyabove the kitchen and immediately adjacent to the sleeping apartment ofhis host and hostess.

What various advantages would or might have resulted from aprolongation of such an extemporisation?

For the guest: security of domicile and seclusion of study. For thehost: rejuvenation of intelligence, vicarious satisfaction. For thehostess: disintegration of obsession, acquisition of correct Italianpronunciation.

Why might these several provisional contingencies between a guest and ahostess not necessarily preclude or be precluded by a permanenteventuality of reconciliatory union between a schoolfellow and a jew’sdaughter?

Because the way to daughter led through mother, the way to motherthrough daughter.

To what inconsequent polysyllabic question of his host did the guestreturn a monosyllabic negative answer?

If he had known the late Mrs Emily Sinico, accidentally killed atSydney Parade railway station, 14 October 1903.

What inchoate corollary statement was consequently suppressed by thehost?

A statement explanatory of his absence on the occasion of the intermentof Mrs Mary Dedalus (born Goulding), 26 June 1903, vigil of theanniversary of the decease of Rudolph Bloom (born Virag).

Was the proposal of asylum accepted?

Promptly, inexplicably, with amicability, gratefully it was declined.

What exchange of money took place between host and guest?

The former returned to the latter, without interest, a sum of money (£1-7-0), one pound seven shillings sterling, advanced by the latter tothe former.

What counterproposals were alternately advanced, accepted, modified,declined, restated in other terms, reaccepted, ratified, reconfirmed?

To inaugurate a prearranged course of Italian instruction, place theresidence of the instructed. To inaugurate a course of vocalinstruction, place the residence of the instructress. To inaugurate aseries of static, semistatic and peripatetic intellectual dialogues,places the residence of both speakers (if both speakers were residentin the same place), the _Ship_ hotel and tavern, 6 Lower Abbey street(W. and E. Connery, proprietors), the National Library of Ireland, 10Kildare street, the National Maternity Hospital, 29, 30 and 31 Hollesstreet, a public garden, the vicinity of a place of worship, aconjunction of two or more public thoroughfares, the point of bisectionof a right line drawn between their residences (if both speakers wereresident in different places).

What rendered problematic for Bloom the realisation of these mutuallyselfexcluding propositions?

The irreparability of the past: once at a performance of AlbertHengler’s circus in the Rotunda, Rutland square, Dublin, an intuitiveparticoloured clown in quest of paternity had penetrated from the ringto a place in the auditorium where Bloom, solitary, was seated and hadpublicly declared to an exhilarated audience that he (Bloom) was his(the clown’s) papa. The imprevidibility of the future: once in thesummer of 1898 he (Bloom) had marked a florin (2/-) with three notcheson the milled edge and tendered it in payment of an account due to andreceived by J. and T. Davy, family grocers, 1 Charlemont Mall, GrandCanal, for circulation on the waters of civic finance, for possible,circuitous or direct, return.

Was the clown Bloom’s son?


Had Bloom’s coin returned?


Why would a recurrent frustration the more depress him?

Because at the critical turningpoint of human existence he desired toamend many social conditions, the product of inequality and avarice andinternational animosity.

He believed then that human life was infinitely perfectible,eliminating these conditions?

There remained the generic conditions imposed by natural, as distinctfrom human law, as integral parts of the human whole: the necessity ofdestruction to procure alimentary sustenance: the painful character ofthe ultimate functions of separate existence, the agonies of birth anddeath: the monotonous menstruation of simian and (particularly) humanfemales extending from the age of puberty to the menopause: inevitableaccidents at sea, in mines and factories: certain very painful maladiesand their resultant surgical operations, innate lunacy and congenitalcriminality, decimating epidemics: catastrophic cataclysms which maketerror the basis of human mentality: seismic upheavals the epicentresof which are located in densely populated regions: the fact of vitalgrowth, through convulsions of metamorphosis, from infancy throughmaturity to decay.

Why did he desist from speculation?

Because it was a task for a superior intelligence to substitute othermore acceptable phenomena in the place of the less acceptable phenomenato be removed.

Did Stephen participate in his dejection?

He affirmed his significance as a conscious rational animal proceedingsyllogistically from the known to the unknown and a conscious rationalreagent between a micro and a macrocosm ineluctably constructed uponthe incertitude of the void.

Was this affirmation apprehended by Bloom?

Not verbally. Substantially.

What comforted his misapprehension?

That as a competent keyless citizen he had proceeded energetically fromthe unknown to the known through the incertitude of the void.

In what order of precedence, with what attendant ceremony was theexodus from the house of bondage to the wilderness of inhabitationeffected?

Lighted Candle in Stick borne byBLOOMDiaconal Hat on Ashplant borne bySTEPHEN

With what intonation _secreto_ of what commemorative psalm?

The 113th, _modus peregrinus: In exitu Israël de Egypto: domus Jacob depopulo barbaro_.

What did each do at the door of egress?

Bloom set the candlestick on the floor. Stephen put the hat on hishead.

For what creature was the door of egress a door of ingress?

For a cat.

What spectacle confronted them when they, first the host, then theguest, emerged silently, doubly dark, from obscurity by a passage fromthe rere of the house into the penumbra of the garden?

The heaventree of stars hung with humid nightblue fruit.

With what meditations did Bloom accompany his demonstration to hiscompanion of various constellations?

Meditations of evolution increasingly vaster: of the moon invisible inincipient lunation, approaching perigee: of the infinite lattiginousscintillating uncondensed milky way, discernible by daylight by anobserver placed at the lower end of a cylindrical vertical shaft 5000ft deep sunk from the surface towards the centre of the earth: ofSirius (alpha in Canis Maior) 10 lightyears (57,000,000,000,000 miles)distant and in volume 900 times the dimension of our planet: ofArcturus: of the precession of equinoxes: of Orion with belt andsextuple sun theta and nebula in which 100 of our solar systems couldbe contained: of moribund and of nascent new stars such as Nova in1901: of our system plunging towards the constellation of Hercules: ofthe parallax or parallactic drift of socalled fixed stars, in realityevermoving wanderers from immeasurably remote eons to infinitely remotefutures in comparison with which the years, threescore and ten, ofallotted human life formed a parenthesis of infinitesimal brevity.

Were there obverse meditations of involution increasingly less vast?

Of the eons of geological periods recorded in the stratifications ofthe earth: of the myriad minute entomological organic existencesconcealed in cavities of the earth, beneath removable stones, in hivesand mounds, of microbes, germs, bacteria, bacilli, spermatozoa: of theincalculable trillions of billions of millions of imperceptiblemolecules contained by cohesion of molecular affinity in a singlepinhead: of the universe of human serum constellated with red and whitebodies, themselves universes of void space constellated with otherbodies, each, in continuity, its universe of divisible component bodiesof which each was again divisible in divisions of redivisible componentbodies, dividends and divisors ever diminishing without actual divisiontill, if the progress were carried far enough, nought nowhere was neverreached.

Why did he not elaborate these calculations to a more precise result?

Because some years previously in 1886 when occupied with the problem ofthe quadrature of the circle he had learned of the existence of anumber computed to a relative degree of accuracy to be of suchmagnitude and of so many places, e.g., the 9th power of the 9th powerof 9, that, the result having been obtained, 33 closely printed volumesof 1000 pages each of innumerable quires and reams of India paper wouldhave to be requisitioned in order to contain the complete tale of itsprinted integers of units, tens, hundreds, thousands, tens ofthousands, hundreds of thousands, millions, tens of millions, hundredsof millions, billions, the nucleus of the nebula of every digit ofevery series containing succinctly the potentiality of being raised tothe utmost kinetic elaboration of any power of any of its powers.

Did he find the problems of the inhabitability of the planets and theirsatellites by a race, given in species, and of the possible social andmoral redemption of said race by a redeemer, easier of solution?

Of a different order of difficulty. Conscious that the human organism,normally capable of sustaining an atmospheric pressure of 19 tons, whenelevated to a considerable altitude in the terrestrial atmospheresuffered with arithmetical progression of intensity, according as theline of demarcation between troposphere and stratosphere wasapproximated from nasal hemorrhage, impeded respiration and vertigo,when proposing this problem for solution, he had conjectured as aworking hypothesis which could not be proved impossible that a moreadaptable and differently anatomically constructed race of beings mightsubsist otherwise under Martian, Mercurial, Veneral, Jovian, Saturnian,Neptunian or Uranian sufficient and equivalent conditions, though anapogean humanity of beings created in varying forms with finitedifferences resulting similar to the whole and to one another wouldprobably there as here remain inalterably and inalienably attached tovanities, to vanities of vanities and to all that is vanity.

And the problem of possible redemption?

The minor was proved by the major.

Which various features of the constellations were in turn considered?

The various colours significant of various degrees of vitality (white,yellow, crimson, vermilion, cinnabar): their degrees of brilliancy:their magnitudes revealed up to and including the 7th: their positions:the waggoner’s star: Walsingham way: the chariot of David: the annularcinctures of Saturn: the condensation of spiral nebulae into suns: theinterdependent gyrations of double suns: the independent synchronousdiscoveries of Galileo, Simon Marius, Piazzi, Le Verrier, Herschel,Galle: the systematisations attempted by Bode and Kepler of cubes ofdistances and squares of times of revolution: the almost infinitecompressibility of hirsute comets and their vast elliptical egressiveand reentrant orbits from perihelion to aphelion: the sidereal originof meteoric stones: the Libyan floods on Mars about the period of thebirth of the younger astroscopist: the annual recurrence of meteoricshowers about the period of the feast of S. Lawrence (martyr, 10August): the monthly recurrence known as the new moon with the old moonin her arms: the posited influence of celestial on human bodies: theappearance of a star (1st magnitude) of exceeding brilliancy dominatingby night and day (a new luminous sun generated by the collision andamalgamation in incandescence of two nonluminous exsuns) about theperiod of the birth of William Shakespeare over delta in the recumbentneversetting constellation of Cassiopeia and of a star (2nd magnitude)of similar origin but of lesser brilliancy which had appeared in anddisappeared from the constellation of the Corona Septentrionalis aboutthe period of the birth of Leopold Bloom and of other stars of(presumably) similar origin which had (effectively or presumably)appeared in and disappeared from the constellation of Andromeda aboutthe period of the birth of Stephen Dedalus, and in and from theconstellation of Auriga some years after the birth and death of RudolphBloom, junior, and in and from other constellations some years beforeor after the birth or death of other persons: the attendant phenomenaof eclipses, solar and lunar, from immersion to emersion, abatement ofwind, transit of shadow, taciturnity of winged creatures, emergence ofnocturnal or crepuscular animals, persistence of infernal light,obscurity of terrestrial waters, pallor of human beings.

His (Bloom’s) logical conclusion, having weighed the matter andallowing for possible error?

That it was not a heaventree, not a heavengrot, not a heavenbeast, nota heavenman. That it was a Utopia, there being no known method from theknown to the unknown: an infinity renderable equally finite by thesuppositious apposition of one or more bodies equally of the same andof different magnitudes: a mobility of illusory forms immobilised inspace, remobilised in air: a past which possibly had ceased to exist asa present before its probable spectators had entered actual presentexistence.

Was he more convinced of the esthetic value of the spectacle?

Indubitably in consequence of the reiterated examples of poets in thedelirium of the frenzy of attachment or in the abasem*nt of rejectioninvoking ardent sympathetic constellations or the frigidity of thesatellite of their planet.

Did he then accept as an article of belief the theory of astrologicalinfluences upon sublunary disasters?

It seemed to him as possible of proof as of confutation and thenomenclature employed in its selenographical charts as attributable toverifiable intuition as to fallacious analogy: the lake of dreams, thesea of rains, the gulf of dews, the ocean of fecundity.

What special affinities appeared to him to exist between the moon andwoman?

Her antiquity in preceding and surviving successive telluriangenerations: her nocturnal predominance: her satellitic dependence: herluminary reflection: her constancy under all her phases, rising andsetting by her appointed times, waxing and waning: the forcedinvariability of her aspect: her indeterminate response toinaffirmative interrogation: her potency over effluent and refluentwaters: her power to enamour, to mortify, to invest with beauty, torender insane, to incite to and aid delinquency: the tranquilinscrutability of her visage: the terribility of her isolated dominantimplacable resplendent propinquity: her omens of tempest and of calm:the stimulation of her light, her motion and her presence: theadmonition of her craters, her arid seas, her silence: her splendour,when visible: her attraction, when invisible.

What visible luminous sign attracted Bloom’s, who attracted Stephen’s,gaze?

In the second storey (rere) of his (Bloom’s) house the light of aparaffin oil lamp with oblique shade projected on a screen of rollerblind supplied by Frank O’Hara, window blind, curtain pole andrevolving shutter manufacturer, 16 Aungier street.

How did he elucidate the mystery of an invisible attractive person, hiswife Marion (Molly) Bloom, denoted by a visible splendid sign, a lamp?

With indirect and direct verbal allusions or affirmations: with subduedaffection and admiration: with description: with impediment: withsuggestion.

Both then were silent?

Silent, each contemplating the other in both mirrors of the reciprocalflesh of theirhisnothis fellowfaces.

Were they indefinitely inactive?

At Stephen’s suggestion, at Bloom’s instigation both, first Stephen,then Bloom, in penumbra urinated, their sides contiguous, their organsof micturition reciprocally rendered invisible by manualcircumposition, their gazes, first Bloom’s, then Stephen’s, elevated tothe projected luminous and semiluminous shadow.


The trajectories of their, first sequent, then simultaneous, urinationswere dissimilar: Bloom’s longer, less irruent, in the incomplete formof the bifurcated penultimate alphabetical letter, who in his ultimateyear at High School (1880) had been capable of attaining the point ofgreatest altitude against the whole concurrent strength of theinstitution, 210 scholars: Stephen’s higher, more sibilant, who in theultimate hours of the previous day had augmented by diureticconsumption an insistent vesical pressure.

What different problems presented themselves to each concerning theinvisible audible collateral organ of the other?

To Bloom: the problems of irritability, tumescence, rigidity,reactivity, dimension, sanitariness, pilosity.

To Stephen: the problem of the sacerdotal integrity of Jesuscircumcised (1 January, holiday of obligation to hear mass and abstainfrom unnecessary servile work) and the problem as to whether the divineprepuce, the carnal bridal ring of the holy Roman catholic apostolicchurch, conserved in Calcata, were deserving of simple hyperduly or ofthe fourth degree of latria accorded to the abscission of such divineexcrescences as hair and toenails.

What celestial sign was by both simultaneously observed?

A star precipitated with great apparent velocity across the firmamentfrom Vega in the Lyre above the zenith beyond the stargroup of theTress of Berenice towards the zodiacal sign of Leo.

How did the centripetal remainer afford egress to the centrifugaldeparter?

By inserting the barrel of an arruginated male key in the hole of anunstable female lock, obtaining a purchase on the bow of the key andturning its wards from right to left, withdrawing a bolt from itsstaple, pulling inward spasmodically an obsolescent unhinged door andrevealing an aperture for free egress and free ingress.

How did they take leave, one of the other, in separation?

Standing perpendicular at the same door and on different sides of itsbase, the lines of their valedictory arms, meeting at any point andforming any angle less than the sum of two right angles.

What sound accompanied the union of their tangent, the disunion oftheir (respectively) centrifugal and centripetal hands?

The sound of the peal of the hour of the night by the chime of thebells in the church of Saint George.

What echoes of that sound were by both and each heard?

By Stephen:

 Liliata rutilantium. Turma circumdet. Iubilantium te virginum. Chorus excipiat.

By Bloom:

 Heigho, heigho, Heigho, heigho.

Where were the several members of the company which with Bloom that dayat the bidding of that peal had travelled from Sandymount in the southto Glasnevin in the north?

Martin Cunningham (in bed), Jack Power (in bed), Simon Dedalus (inbed), Ned Lambert (in bed), Tom Kernan (in bed), Joe Hynes (in bed),John Henry Menton (in bed), Bernard Corrigan (in bed), Patsy Dignam (inbed), Paddy Dignam (in the grave).

Alone, what did Bloom hear?

The double reverberation of retreating feet on the heavenborn earth,the double vibration of a jew’s harp in the resonant lane.

Alone, what did Bloom feel?

The cold of interstellar space, thousands of degrees below freezingpoint or the absolute zero of Fahrenheit, Centigrade or Réaumur: theincipient intimations of proximate dawn.

Of what did bellchime and handtouch and footstep and lonechill remindhim?

Of companions now in various manners in different places defunct: PercyApjohn (killed in action, Modder River), Philip Gilligan (phthisis,Jervis Street hospital), Matthew F. Kane (accidental drowning, DublinBay), Philip Moisel (pyemia, Heytesbury street), Michael Hart(phthisis, Mater Misericordiae hospital), Patrick Dignam (apoplexy,Sandymount).

What prospect of what phenomena inclined him to remain?

The disparition of three final stars, the diffusion of daybreak, theapparition of a new solar disk.

Had he ever been a spectator of those phenomena?

Once, in 1887, after a protracted performance of charades in the houseof Luke Doyle, Kimmage, he had awaited with patience the apparition ofthe diurnal phenomenon, seated on a wall, his gaze turned in thedirection of Mizrach, the east.

He remembered the initial paraphenomena?

More active air, a matutinal distant co*ck, ecclesiastical clocks atvarious points, avine music, the isolated tread of an early wayfarer,the visible diffusion of the light of an invisible luminous body, thefirst golden limb of the resurgent sun perceptible low on the horizon.

Did he remain?

With deep inspiration he returned, retraversing the garden, reenteringthe passage, reclosing the door. With brief suspiration he reassumedthe candle, reascended the stairs, reapproached the door of the frontroom, hallfloor, and reentered.

What suddenly arrested his ingress?

The right temporal lobe of the hollow sphere of his cranium came intocontact with a solid timber angle where, an infinitesimal but sensiblefraction of a second later, a painful sensation was located inconsequence of antecedent sensations transmitted and registered.

Describe the alterations effected in the disposition of the articles offurniture.

A sofa upholstered in prune plush had been translocated from oppositethe door to the ingleside near the compactly furled Union Jack (analteration which he had frequently intended to execute): the blue andwhite checker inlaid majolicatopped table had been placed opposite thedoor in the place vacated by the prune plush sofa: the walnut sideboard(a projecting angle of which had momentarily arrested his ingress) hadbeen moved from its position beside the door to a more advantageous butmore perilous position in front of the door: two chairs had been movedfrom right and left of the ingleside to the position originallyoccupied by the blue and white checker inlaid majolicatopped table.

Describe them.

One: a squat stuffed easychair, with stout arms extended and backslanted to the rere, which, repelled in recoil, had then upturned anirregular fringe of a rectangular rug and now displayed on its amplyupholstered seat a centralised diffusing and diminishingdiscolouration. The other: a slender splayfoot chair of glossy canecurves, placed directly opposite the former, its frame from top to seatand from seat to base being varnished dark brown, its seat being abright circle of white plaited rush.

What significances attached to these two chairs?

Significances of similitude, of posture, of symbolism, ofcirc*mstantial evidence, of testimonial supermanence.

What occupied the position originally occupied by the sideboard?

A vertical piano (Cadby) with exposed keyboard, its closed coffinsupporting a pair of long yellow ladies’ gloves and an emerald ashtraycontaining four consumed matches, a partly consumed cigarette and twodiscoloured ends of cigarettes, its musicrest supporting the music inthe key of G natural for voice and piano of _Love’s Old Sweet Song_(words by G. Clifton Bingham, composed by J. L. Molloy, sung by MadamAntoinette Sterling) open at the last page with the final indications_ad libitum, forte_, pedal, _animato_, sustained pedal, _ritirando_,close.

With what sensations did Bloom contemplate in rotation these objects?

With strain, elevating a candlestick: with pain, feeling on his righttemple a contused tumescence: with attention, focussing his gaze on alarge dull passive and a slender bright active: with solicitation,bending and downturning the upturned rugfringe: with amusem*nt,remembering Dr Malachi Mulligan’s scheme of colour containing thegradation of green: with pleasure, repeating the words and antecedentact and perceiving through various channels of internal sensibility theconsequent and concomitant tepid pleasant diffusion of gradualdiscolouration.

His next proceeding?

From an open box on the majolicatopped table he extracted a blackdiminutive cone, one inch in height, placed it on its circular base ona small tin plate, placed his candlestick on the right corner of themantelpiece, produced from his waistcoat a folded page of prospectus(illustrated) entitled Agendath Netaim, unfolded the same, examined itsuperficially, rolled it into a thin cylinder, ignited it in thecandleflame, applied it when ignited to the apex of the cone till thelatter reached the stage of rutilance, placed the cylinder in the basinof the candlestick disposing its unconsumed part in such a manner as tofacilitate total combustion.

What followed this operation?

The truncated conical crater summit of the diminutive volcano emitted avertical and serpentine fume redolent of aromatic oriental incense.

What hom*othetic objects, other than the candlestick, stood on themantelpiece?

A timepiece of striated Connemara marble, stopped at the hour of 4.46a.m. on the 21 March 1896, matrimonial gift of Matthew Dillon: a dwarftree of glacial arborescence under a transparent bellshade, matrimonialgift of Luke and Caroline Doyle: an embalmed owl, matrimonial gift ofAlderman John Hooper.

What interchanges of looks took place between these three objects andBloom?

In the mirror of the giltbordered pierglass the undecorated back of thedwarf tree regarded the upright back of the embalmed owl. Before themirror the matrimonial gift of Alderman John Hooper with a clearmelancholy wise bright motionless compassionate gaze regarded Bloomwhile Bloom with obscure tranquil profound motionless compassionatedgaze regarded the matrimonial gift of Luke and Caroline Doyle.

What composite asymmetrical image in the mirror then attracted hisattention?

The image of a solitary (ipsorelative) mutable (aliorelative) man.

Why solitary (ipsorelative)?

 Brothers and sisters had he none. Yet that man’s father was his grandfather’s son.

Why mutable (aliorelative)?

From infancy to maturity he had resembled his maternal procreatrix.From maturity to senility he would increasingly resemble his paternalprocreator.

What final visual impression was communicated to him by the mirror?

The optical reflection of several inverted volumes improperly arrangedand not in the order of their common letters with scintillating titleson the two bookshelves opposite.

Catalogue these books.

_Thom’s Dublin Post Office Directory_, 1886.

Denis Florence M’Carthy’s _Poetical Works_ (copper beechleaf bookmarkat p. 5).

Shakespeare’s _Works_ (dark crimson morocco, goldtooled).

_The Useful Ready Reckoner_ (brown cloth).

_The Secret History of the Court of Charles II_ (red cloth, tooledbinding).

_The Child’s Guide_ (blue cloth).

_The Beauties of Killarney_ (wrappers).

_When We Were Boys_ by William O’Brien M. P. (green cloth, slightlyfaded, envelope bookmark at p. 217).

_Thoughts from Spinoza_ (maroon leather).

_The Story of the Heavens_ by Sir Robert Ball (blue cloth).

Ellis’s _Three Trips to Madagascar_ (brown cloth, title obliterated).

_The Stark-Munro Letters_ by A. Conan Doyle, property of the City ofDublin Public Library, 106 Capel street, lent 21 May (Whitsun Eve)1904, due 4 June 1904, 13 days overdue (black cloth binding, bearingwhite letternumber ticket).

_Voyages in China_ by “Viator” (recovered with brown paper, red inktitle).

_Philosophy of the Talmud_ (sewn pamphlet).

Lockhart’s _Life of Napoleon_ (cover wanting, marginal annotations,minimising victories, aggrandising defeats of the protagonist).

_Soll und Haben_ by Gustav Freytag (black boards, Gothic characters,cigarette coupon bookmark at p. 24).

Hozier’s _History of the Russo-Turkish War_ (brown cloth, 2 volumes,with gummed label, Garrison Library, Governor’s Parade, Gibraltar, onverso of cover).

_Laurence Bloomfield in Ireland_ by William Allingham (second edition,green cloth, gilt trefoil design, previous owner’s name on recto offlyleaf erased).

_A Handbook of Astronomy_ (cover, brown leather, detached, 5 plates,antique letterpress long primer, author’s footnotes nonpareil, marginalclues brevier, captions small pica).

_The Hidden Life of Christ_ (black boards).

_In the Track of the Sun_ (yellow cloth, titlepage missing, recurrenttitle intestation).

_Physical Strength and How to Obtain It_ by Eugen Sandow (red cloth).

_Short but yet Plain Elements of Geometry_ written in French by F.Ignat. Pardies and rendered into Engliſh by John Harris D. D. London,printed for R. Knaplock at the Biſhop’s Head, MDCCXI, with dedicatoryepiſtle to his worthy friend Charles Cox, eſquire, Member of Parliamentfor the burgh of Southwark and having ink calligraphed statement on theflyleaf certifying that the book was the property of Michael Gallagher,dated this 10th day of May 1822 and requeſting the perſon who shouldfind it, if the book should be loſt or go aſtray, to reſtore it toMichael Gallagher, carpenter, Dufery Gate, Enniſcorthy, county Wicklow,the fineſt place in the world.

What reflections occupied his mind during the process of reversion ofthe inverted volumes?

The necessity of order, a place for everything and everything in itsplace: the deficient appreciation of literature possessed by females:the incongruity of an apple incuneated in a tumbler and of an umbrellainclined in a closestool: the insecurity of hiding any secret documentbehind, beneath or between the pages of a book.

Which volume was the largest in bulk?

Hozier’s _History of the Russo-Turkish War._

What among other data did the second volume of the work in questioncontain?

The name of a decisive battle (forgotten), frequently remembered by adecisive officer, major Brian Cooper Tweedy (remembered).

Why, firstly and secondly, did he not consult the work in question?

Firstly, in order to exercise mnemotechnic: secondly, because after aninterval of amnesia, when, seated at the central table, about toconsult the work in question, he remembered by mnemotechnic the name ofthe military engagement, Plevna.

What caused him consolation in his sitting posture?

The candour, nudity, pose, tranquility, youth, grace, sex, counsel of astatue erect in the centre of the table, an image of Narcissuspurchased by auction from P. A. Wren, 9 Bachelor’s Walk.

What caused him irritation in his sitting posture?

Inhibitory pressure of collar (size 17) and waistcoat (5 buttons), twoarticles of clothing superfluous in the costume of mature males andinelastic to alterations of mass by expansion.

How was the irritation allayed?

He removed his collar, with contained black necktie and collapsiblestud, from his neck to a position on the left of the table. Heunbuttoned successively in reversed direction waistcoat, trousers,shirt and vest along the medial line of irregular incrispated blackhairs extending in triangular convergence from the pelvic basin overthe circumference of the abdomen and umbilicular fossicle along themedial line of nodes to the intersection of the sixth pectoralvertebrae, thence produced both ways at right angles and terminating incircles described about two equidistant points, right and left, on thesummits of the mammary prominences. He unbraced successively each ofsix minus one braced trouser buttons, arranged in pairs, of which oneincomplete.

What involuntary actions followed?

He compressed between 2 fingers the flesh circumjacent to a cicatricein the left infracostal region below the diaphragm resulting from asting inflicted 2 weeks and 3 days previously (23 May 1904) by a bee.He scratched imprecisely with his right hand, though insensible ofprurition, various points and surfaces of his partly exposed, whollyabluted skin. He inserted his left hand into the left lower pocket ofhis waistcoat and extracted and replaced a silver coin (1 shilling),placed there (presumably) on the occasion (17 October 1903) of theinterment of Mrs Emily Sinico, Sydney Parade.

Compile the budget for 16 June 1904.

 Debit £. s. d. 1 Pork kidney 0—0—3 1 Copy Freeman’s Journal 0—0—1 1 Bath and Gratification 0—1—6 Tramfare 0—0—1 1 In Memoriam Patrick Dignam 0—5—0 2 Banbury cakes 0—0—1 1 Lunch 0—0—7 1 Renewal fee for book 0—1—0 1 Packet Notepaper and Envelopes 0—0—2 1 Dinner and Gratification 0—2—0 1 Postal Order and Stamp 0—2—8 Tramfare 0—0—1 1 Pig’s Foot 0—0—4 1 Sheep’s Trotter 0—0—3 1 Cake Fry’s Plain Chocolate 0—0—1 1 Square Soda Bread 0—0—4 1 Coffee and Bun 0—0—4 Loan (Stephen Dedalus) refunded 1—7—0 BALANCE 0—16—6 ————— 2—19—3 Credit £. s. d. Cash in hand 0—4—9 Commission recd. Freeman’s Journal 1—7—6 Loan (Stephen Dedalus) 1—7—0 ————— 2—19—3

Did the process of divestiture continue?

Did the process of divestiture continue?

Sensible of a benignant persistent ache in his footsoles he extendedhis foot to one side and observed the creases, protuberances andsalient points caused by foot pressure in the course of walkingrepeatedly in several different directions, then, inclined, he disnodedthe laceknots, unhooked and loosened the laces, took off each of histwo boots for the second time, detached the partially moistened rightsock through the fore part of which the nail of his great toe had againeffracted, raised his right foot and, having unhooked a purple elasticsock suspender, took off his right sock, placed his unclothed rightfoot on the margin of the seat of his chair, picked at and gentlylacerated the protruding part of the great toenail, raised the partlacerated to his nostrils and inhaled the odour of the quick, then,with satisfaction, threw away the lacerated ungual fragment.

Why with satisfaction?

Because the odour inhaled corresponded to other odours inhaled of otherungual fragments, picked and lacerated by Master Bloom, pupil of MrsEllis’s juvenile school, patiently each night in the act of briefgenuflection and nocturnal prayer and ambitious meditation.

In what ultimate ambition had all concurrent and consecutive ambitionsnow coalesced?

Not to inherit by right of primogeniture, gavelkind or borough English,or possess in perpetuity an extensive demesne of a sufficient number ofacres, roods and perches, statute land measure (valuation £ 42), ofgrazing turbary surrounding a baronial hall with gatelodge and carriagedrive nor, on the other hand, a terracehouse or semidetached villa,described as _Rus in Urbe_ or _Qui si sana_, but to purchase by privatetreaty in fee simple a thatched bungalowshaped 2 storey dwellinghouseof southerly aspect, surmounted by vane and lightning conductor,connected with the earth, with porch covered by parasitic plants (ivyor Virginia creeper), halldoor, olive green, with smart carriage finishand neat doorbrasses, stucco front with gilt tracery at eaves andgable, rising, if possible, upon a gentle eminence with agreeableprospect from balcony with stone pillar parapet over unoccupied andunoccupyable interjacent pastures and standing in 5 or 6 acres of itsown ground, at such a distance from the nearest public thoroughfare asto render its houselights visible at night above and through a quicksethornbeam hedge of topiary cutting, situate at a given point not lessthan 1 statute mile from the periphery of the metropolis, within a timelimit of not more than 15 minutes from tram or train line (e.g.,Dundrum, south, or Sutton, north, both localities equally reported bytrial to resemble the terrestrial poles in being favourable climatesfor phthisical subjects), the premises to be held under feefarm grant,lease 999 years, the messuage to consist of 1 drawingroom withbaywindow (2 lancets), thermometer affixed, 1 sittingroom, 4 bedrooms,2 servants’ rooms, tiled kitchen with close range and scullery, loungehall fitted with linen wallpresses, fumed oak sectional bookcasecontaining the Encyclopaedia Britannica and New Century Dictionary,transverse obsolete medieval and oriental weapons, dinner gong,alabaster lamp, bowl pendant, vulcanite automatic telephone receiverwith adjacent directory, handtufted Axminster carpet with cream groundand trellis border, loo table with pillar and claw legs, hearth withmassive firebrasses and ormolu mantel chronometer clock, guaranteedtimekeeper with cathedral chime, barometer with hygrographic chart,comfortable lounge settees and corner fitments, upholstered in rubyplush with good springing and sunk centre, three banner Japanese screenand cuspidors (club style, rich winecoloured leather, gloss renewablewith a minimum of labour by use of linseed oil and vinegar) andpyramidically prismatic central chandelier lustre, bentwood perch withfingertame parrot (expurgated language), embossed mural paper at 10/-per dozen with transverse swags of carmine floral design and top crownfrieze, staircase, three continuous flights at successive right angles,of varnished cleargrained oak, treads and risers, newel, balusters andhandrail, with steppedup panel dado, dressed with camphorated wax:bathroom, hot and cold supply, reclining and shower: water closet onmezzanine provided with opaque singlepane oblong window, tipup seat,bracket lamp, brass tierod and brace, armrests, footstool and artisticoleograph on inner face of door: ditto, plain: servants’ apartmentswith separate sanitary and hygienic necessaries for cook, general andbetweenmaid (salary, rising by biennial unearned increments of £ 2,with comprehensive fidelity insurance, annual bonus (£ 1) and retiringallowance (based on the 65 system) after 30 years’ service), pantry,buttery, larder, refrigerator, outoffices, coal and wood cellarage withwinebin (still and sparkling vintages) for distinguished guests, ifentertained to dinner (evening dress), carbon monoxide gas supplythroughout.

What additional attractions might the grounds contain?

As addenda, a tennis and fives court, a shrubbery, a glass summerhousewith tropical palms, equipped in the best botanical manner, a rockerywith waterspray, a beehive arranged on humane principles, ovalflowerbeds in rectangular grassplots set with eccentric ellipses ofscarlet and chrome tulips, blue scillas, crocuses, polyanthus, sweetWilliam, sweet pea, lily of the valley (bulbs obtainable from sir JamesW. Mackey (Limited) wholesale and retail seed and bulb merchants andnurserymen, agents for chemical manures, 23 Sackville street, upper),an orchard, kitchen garden and vinery, protected against illegaltrespassers by glasstopped mural enclosures, a lumbershed with padlockfor various inventoried implements.


Eeltraps, lobsterpots, fishingrods, hatchet, steelyard, grindstone,clodcrusher, swatheturner, carriagesack, telescope ladder, 10 toothrake, washing clogs, haytedder, tumbling rake, billhook, paintpot,brush, hoe and so on.

What improvements might be subsequently introduced?

A rabbitry and fowlrun, a dovecote, a botanical conservatory, 2hammocks (lady’s and gentleman’s), a sundial shaded and sheltered bylaburnum or lilac trees, an exotically harmonically accorded Japanesetinkle gatebell affixed to left lateral gatepost, a capaciouswaterbutt, a lawnmower with side delivery and grassbox, a lawnsprinklerwith hydraulic hose.

What facilities of transit were desirable?

When citybound frequent connection by train or tram from theirrespective intermediate station or terminal. When countryboundvelocipedes, a chainless freewheel roadster cycle with side basketcarattached, or draught conveyance, a donkey with wicker trap or smartphaeton with good working solidungular cob (roan gelding, 14 h).

What might be the name of this erigible or erected residence?

Bloom Cottage. Saint Leopold’s. Flowerville.

Could Bloom of 7 Eccles street foresee Bloom of Flowerville?

In loose allwool garments with Harris tweed cap, price 8/6, and usefulgarden boots with elastic gussets and wateringcan, planting alignedyoung firtrees, syringing, pruning, staking, sowing hayseed, trundlinga weedladen wheelbarrow without excessive fatigue at sunset amid thescent of newmown hay, ameliorating the soil, multiplying wisdom,achieving longevity.

What syllabus of intellectual pursuits was simultaneously possible?

Snapshot photography, comparative study of religions, folklore relativeto various amatory and superstitious practices, contemplation of thecelestial constellations.

What lighter recreations?

Outdoor: garden and fieldwork, cycling on level macadamised causeways,ascents of moderately high hills, natation in secluded fresh water andunmolested river boating in secure wherry or light curricle with kedgeanchor on reaches free from weirs and rapids (period of estivation),vespertinal perambulation or equestrian circumprocession withinspection of sterile landscape and contrastingly agreeable cottagers’fires of smoking peat turves (period of hibernation). Indoor:discussion in tepid security of unsolved historical and criminalproblems: lecture of unexpurgated exotic erotic masterpieces: housecarpentry with toolbox containing hammer, awl, nails, screws, tintacks,gimlet, tweezers, bullnose plane and turnscrew.

Might he become a gentleman farmer of field produce and live stock?

Not impossibly, with 1 or 2 stripper cows, 1 pike of upland hay andrequisite farming implements, e.g., an end-to-end churn, a turnippulper etc.

What would be his civic functions and social status among the countyfamilies and landed gentry?

Arranged successively in ascending powers of hierarchical order, thatof gardener, groundsman, cultivator, breeder, and at the zenith of hiscareer, resident magistrate or justice of the peace with a family crestand coat of arms and appropriate classical motto _(Semper paratus_),duly recorded in the court directory (Bloom, Leopold P., M. P., P. C.,K. P., L. L. D. (_honoris causa_), Bloomville, Dundrum) and mentionedin court and fashionable intelligence (Mr and Mrs Leopold Bloom haveleft Kingstown for England).

What course of action did he outline for himself in such capacity?

A course that lay between undue clemency and excessive rigour: thedispensation in a heterogeneous society of arbitrary classes,incessantly rearranged in terms of greater and lesser socialinequality, of unbiassed hom*ogeneous indisputable justice, temperedwith mitigants of the widest possible latitude but exactable to theuttermost farthing with confiscation of estate, real and personal, tothe crown. Loyal to the highest constituted power in the land, actuatedby an innate love of rectitude his aims would be the strict maintenanceof public order, the repression of many abuses though not of allsimultaneously (every measure of reform or retrenchment being apreliminary solution to be contained by fluxion in the final solution),the upholding of the letter of the law (common, statute and lawmerchant) against all traversers in covin and trespassers acting incontravention of bylaws and regulations, all resuscitators (by trespassand petty larceny of kindlings) of venville rights, obsolete bydesuetude, all orotund instigators of international persecution, allperpetuators of international animosities, all menial molestors ofdomestic conviviality, all recalcitrant violators of domesticconnubiality.

Prove that he had loved rectitude from his earliest youth.

To Master Percy Apjohn at High School in 1880 he had divulged hisdisbelief in the tenets of the Irish (protestant) church (to which hisfather Rudolf Virag (later Rudolph Bloom) had been converted from theIsraelitic faith and communion in 1865 by the Society for promotingChristianity among the jews) subsequently abjured by him in favour ofRoman catholicism at the epoch of and with a view to his matrimony in1888. To Daniel Magrane and Francis Wade in 1882 during a juvenilefriendship (terminated by the premature emigration of the former) hehad advocated during nocturnal perambulations the political theory ofcolonial (e.g. Canadian) expansion and the evolutionary theories ofCharles Darwin, expounded in _The Descent of Man_ and _The Origin ofSpecies_. In 1885 he had publicly expressed his adherence to thecollective and national economic programme advocated by James FintanLalor, John Fisher Murray, John Mitchel, J. F. X. O’Brien and others,the agrarian policy of Michael Davitt, the constitutional agitation ofCharles Stewart Parnell (M. P. for Cork City), the programme of peace,retrenchment and reform of William Ewart Gladstone (M. P. forMidlothian, N. B.) and, in support of his political convictions, hadclimbed up into a secure position amid the ramifications of a tree onNorthumberland road to see the entrance (2 February 1888) into thecapital of a demonstrative torchlight procession of 20,000torchbearers, divided into 120 trade corporations, bearing 2000 torchesin escort of the marquess of Ripon and (honest) John Morley.

How much and how did he propose to pay for this country residence?

As per prospectus of the Industrious Foreign Acclimatised NationalisedFriendly Stateaided Building Society (incorporated 1874), a maximum of£ 60 per annum, being 1/6 of an assured income, derived from giltedgedsecurities, representing at 5% simple interest on capital of £ 1200(estimate of price at 20 years’ purchase), of which 1/3 to be paid onacquisition and the balance in the form of annual rent, viz. £ 800 plus2 1/2% interest on the same, repayable quarterly in equal annualinstalments until extinction by amortisation of loan advanced forpurchase within a period of 20 years, amounting to an annual rental of£ 64, headrent included, the titledeeds to remain in possession of thelender or lenders with a saving clause envisaging forced sale,foreclosure and mutual compensation in the event of protracted failureto pay the terms assigned, otherwise the messuage to become theabsolute property of the tenant occupier upon expiry of the period ofyears stipulated.

What rapid but insecure means to opulence might facilitate immediatepurchase?

A private wireless telegraph which would transmit by dot and dashsystem the result of a national equine handicap (flat or steeplechase)of 1 or more miles and furlongs won by an outsider at odds of 50 to 1at 3 hr 8 m p.m. at Ascot (Greenwich time), the message being receivedand available for betting purposes in Dublin at 2.59 p.m. (Dunsinktime). The unexpected discovery of an object of great monetary value(precious stone, valuable adhesive or impressed postage stamps (7schilling, mauve, imperforate, Hamburg, 1866: 4 pence, rose, bluepaper, perforate, Great Britain, 1855: 1 franc, stone, official,rouletted, diagonal surcharge, Luxemburg, 1878), antique dynasticalring, unique relic) in unusual repositories or by unusual means: fromthe air (dropped by an eagle in flight), by fire (amid the carbonisedremains of an incendiated edifice), in the sea (amid flotsam, jetsam,lagan and derelict), on earth (in the gizzard of a comestible fowl). ASpanish prisoner’s donation of a distant treasure of valuables orspecie or bullion lodged with a solvent banking corporation 100 yearspreviously at 5% compound interest of the collective worth of £5,000,000 stg (five million pounds sterling). A contract with aninconsiderate contractee for the delivery of 32 consignments of somegiven commodity in consideration of cash payment on delivery perdelivery at the initial rate of 1/4d to be increased constantly in thegeometrical progression of 2 (1/4d, 1/2d, 1d, 2d, 4d, 8d, 1s 4d, 2s 8dto 32 terms). A prepared scheme based on a study of the laws ofprobability to break the bank at Monte Carlo. A solution of the secularproblem of the quadrature of the circle, government premium £ 1,000,000sterling.

Was vast wealth acquirable through industrial channels?

The reclamation of dunams of waste arenary soil, proposed in theprospectus of Agendath Netaim, Bleibtreustrasse, Berlin, W. 15, by thecultivation of orange plantations and melonfields and reafforestation.The utilisation of waste paper, fells of sewer rodents, human excrementpossessing chemical properties, in view of the vast production of thefirst, vast number of the second and immense quantity of the third,every normal human being of average vitality and appetite producingannually, cancelling byproducts of water, a sum total of 80 lbs. (mixedanimal and vegetable diet), to be multiplied by 4,386,035, the totalpopulation of Ireland according to census returns of 1901.

Were there schemes of wider scope?

A scheme to be formulated and submitted for approval to the harbourcommissioners for the exploitation of white coal (hydraulic power),obtained by hydroelectric plant at peak of tide at Dublin bar or athead of water at Poulaphouca or Powerscourt or catchment basins of mainstreams for the economic production of 500,000 W. H. P. of electricity.A scheme to enclose the peninsular delta of the North Bull atDollymount and erect on the space of the foreland, used for golf linksand rifle ranges, an asphalted esplanade with casinos, booths, shootinggalleries, hotels, boardinghouses, readingrooms, establishments formixed bathing. A scheme for the use of dogvans and goatvans for thedelivery of early morning milk. A scheme for the development of Irishtourist traffic in and around Dublin by means of petrolpropelledriverboats, plying in the fluvial fairway between Island bridge andRingsend, charabancs, narrow gauge local railways, and pleasuresteamers for coastwise navigation (10/- per person per day, guide(trilingual) included). A scheme for the repristination of passengerand goods traffics over Irish waterways, when freed from weedbeds. Ascheme to connect by tramline the Cattle Market (North Circular roadand Prussia street) with the quays (Sheriff street, lower, and EastWall), parallel with the Link line railway laid (in conjunction withthe Great Southern and Western railway line) between the cattle park,Liffey junction, and terminus of Midland Great Western Railway 43 to 45North Wall, in proximity to the terminal stations or Dublin branches ofGreat Central Railway, Midland Railway of England, City of Dublin SteamPacket Company, Lancashire and Yorkshire Railway Company, Dublin andGlasgow Steam Packet Company, Glasgow, Dublin and Londonderry SteamPacket Company (Laird line), British and Irish Steam Packet Company,Dublin and Morecambe Steamers, London and North Western RailwayCompany, Dublin Port and Docks Board Landing Sheds and transit sheds ofPalgrave, Murphy and Company, steamship owners, agents for steamersfrom Mediterranean, Spain, Portugal, France, Belgium and Holland andfor Liverpool Underwriters’ Association, the cost of acquired rollingstock for animal transport and of additional mileage operated by theDublin United Tramways Company, limited, to be covered by graziers’fees.

Positing what protasis would the contraction for such several schemesbecome a natural and necessary apodosis?

Given a guarantee equal to the sum sought, the support, by deed of giftand transfer vouchers during donor’s lifetime or by bequest afterdonor’s painless extinction, of eminent financiers (Blum Pasha,Rothschild, Guggenheim, Hirsch, Montefiore, Morgan, Rockefeller)possessing fortunes in 6 figures, amassed during a successful life, andjoining capital with opportunity the thing required was done.

What eventuality would render him independent of such wealth?

The independent discovery of a goldseam of inexhaustible ore.

For what reason did he meditate on schemes so difficult of realisation?

It was one of his axioms that similar meditations or the automaticrelation to himself of a narrative concerning himself or tranquilrecollection of the past when practised habitually before retiring forthe night alleviated fatigue and produced as a result sound repose andrenovated vitality.

His justifications?

As a physicist he had learned that of the 70 years of complete humanlife at least 2/7, viz. 20 years are passed in sleep. As a philosopherhe knew that at the termination of any allotted life only aninfinitesimal part of any person’s desires has been realised. As aphysiologist he believed in the artificial placation of malignantagencies chiefly operative during somnolence.

What did he fear?

The committal of homicide or suicide during sleep by an aberration ofthe light of reason, the incommensurable categorical intelligencesituated in the cerebral convolutions.

What were habitually his final meditations?

Of some one sole unique advertisem*nt to cause passers to stop inwonder, a poster novelty, with all extraneous accretions excluded,reduced to its simplest and most efficient terms not exceeding the spanof casual vision and congruous with the velocity of modern life.

What did the first drawer unlocked contain?

A Vere Foster’s handwriting copybook, property of Milly (Millicent)Bloom, certain pages of which bore diagram drawings, marked _Papli_,which showed a large globular head with 5 hairs erect, 2 eyes inprofile, the trunk full front with 3 large buttons, 1 triangular foot:2 fading photographs of queen Alexandra of England and of MaudBranscombe, actress and professional beauty: a Yuletide card, bearingon it a pictorial representation of a parasitic plant, the legend_Mizpah_, the date Xmas 1892, the name of the senders: from Mr + Mrs M.Comerford, the versicle: _May this Yuletide bring to thee, Joy andpeace and welcome glee_: a butt of red partly liquefied sealing wax,obtained from the stores department of Messrs Hely’s, Ltd., 89, 90, and91 Dame street: a box containing the remainder of a gross of gilt “J”pennibs, obtained from same department of same firm: an old sandglasswhich rolled containing sand which rolled: a sealed prophecy (neverunsealed) written by Leopold Bloom in 1886 concerning the consequencesof the passing into law of William Ewart Gladstone’s Home Rule bill of1886 (never passed into law): a bazaar ticket, No 2004, of S. Kevin’sCharity Fair, price 6d, 100 prizes: an infantile epistle, dated, smallem monday, reading: capital pee Papli comma capital aitch How are younote of interrogation capital eye I am very well full stop newparagraph signature with flourishes capital em Milly no stop: a cameobrooch, property of Ellen Bloom (born Higgins), deceased: a cameoscarfpin, property of Rudolph Bloom (born Virag), deceased: 3typewritten letters, addressee, Henry Flower, c/o. P. O. Westland Row,addresser, Martha Clifford, c/o. P. O. Dolphin’s Barn: thetransliterated name and address of the addresser of the 3 letters inreversed alphabetic boustrophedonic punctated quadrilinear cryptogram(vowels suppressed) N. IGS./WI. UU. OX/W. OKS. MH/Y. IM: a presscutting from an English weekly periodical _Modern Society_, subjectcorporal chastisem*nt in girls’ schools: a pink ribbon which hadfestooned an Easter egg in the year 1899: two partly uncoiled rubberpreservatives with reserve pockets, purchased by post from Box 32, P.O., Charing Cross, London, W. C.: 1 pack of 1 dozen creamlaid envelopesand feintruled notepaper, watermarked, now reduced by 3: some assortedAustrian-Hungarian coins: 2 coupons of the Royal and PrivilegedHungarian Lottery: a lowpower magnifying glass: 2 erotic photocardsshowing a) buccal coition between nude senorita (rere presentation,superior position) and nude torero (fore presentation, inferiorposition) b) anal violation by male religious (fully clothed, eyesabject) of female religious (partly clothed, eyes direct), purchased bypost from Box 32, P. O., Charing Cross, London, W. C.: a press cuttingof recipe for renovation of old tan boots: a 1d adhesive stamp,lavender, of the reign of Queen Victoria: a chart of the measurementsof Leopold Bloom compiled before, during and after 2 months’consecutive use of Sandow-Whiteley’s pulley exerciser (men’s 15/-,athlete’s 20/-) viz. chest 28 in and 29 1/2 in, biceps 9 in and 10 in,forearm 8 1/2 in and 9 in, thigh 10 in and 12 in, calf 11 in and 12 in:1 prospectus of The Wonderworker, the world’s greatest remedy forrectal complaints, direct from Wonderworker, Coventry House, SouthPlace, London E C, addressed (erroneously) to Mrs L. Bloom with briefaccompanying note commencing (erroneously): Dear Madam.

Quote the textual terms in which the prospectus claimed advantages forthis thaumaturgic remedy.

It heals and soothes while you sleep, in case of trouble in breakingwind, assists nature in the most formidable way, insuring instantrelief in discharge of gases, keeping parts clean and free naturalaction, an initial outlay of 7/6 making a new man of you and life worthliving. Ladies find Wonderworker especially useful, a pleasant surprisewhen they note delightful result like a cool drink of fresh springwater on a sultry summer’s day. Recommend it to your lady and gentlemenfriends, lasts a lifetime. Insert long round end. Wonderworker.

Were there testimonials?

Numerous. From clergyman, British naval officer, wellknown author, cityman, hospital nurse, lady, mother of five, absentminded beggar.

How did absentminded beggar’s concluding testimonial conclude?

What a pity the government did not supply our men with wonderworkersduring the South African campaign! What a relief it would have been!

What object did Bloom add to this collection of objects?

A 4th typewritten letter received by Henry Flower (let H. F. be L. B.)from Martha Clifford (find M. C.).

What pleasant reflection accompanied this action?

The reflection that, apart from the letter in question, his magneticface, form and address had been favourably received during the courseof the preceding day by a wife (Mrs Josephine Breen, born JosiePowell), a nurse, Miss Callan (Christian name unknown), a maid,Gertrude (Gerty, family name unknown).

What possibility suggested itself?

The possibility of exercising virile power of fascination in the notimmediate future after an expensive repast in a private apartment inthe company of an elegant courtesan, of corporal beauty, moderatelymercenary, variously instructed, a lady by origin.

What did the 2nd drawer contain?

Documents: the birth certificate of Leopold Paula Bloom: an endowmentassurance policy of £ 500 in the Scottish Widows’ Assurance Society,intestated Millicent (Milly) Bloom, coming into force at 25 years aswith profit policy of £ 430, £ 462-10-0 and £ 500 at 60 years or death,65 years or death and death, respectively, or with profit policy(paidup) of £ 299-10-0 together with cash payment of £ 133-10-0, atoption: a bank passbook issued by the Ulster Bank, College Green branchshowing statement of a/c for halfyear ending 31 December 1903, balancein depositor’s favour: £ 18-14-6 (eighteen pounds, fourteen shillingsand sixpence, sterling), net personalty: certificate of possession of £900, Canadian 4% (inscribed) government stock (free of stamp duty):dockets of the Catholic Cemeteries’ (Glasnevin) Committee, relative toa graveplot purchased: a local press cutting concerning change of nameby deedpoll.

Quote the textual terms of this notice.

I, Rudolph Virag, now resident at no 52 Clanbrassil street, Dublin,formerly of Szombathely in the kingdom of Hungary, hereby give noticethat I have assumed and intend henceforth upon all occasions and at alltimes to be known by the name of Rudolph Bloom.

What other objects relative to Rudolph Bloom (born Virag) were in the2nd drawer?

An indistinct daguerreotype of Rudolf Virag and his father LeopoldVirag executed in the year 1852 in the portrait atelier of their(respectively) 1st and 2nd cousin, Stefan Virag of Szesfehervar,Hungary. An ancient haggadah book in which a pair of hornrimmed convexspectacles inserted marked the passage of thanksgiving in the ritualprayers for Pessach (Passover): a photocard of the Queen’s Hotel,Ennis, proprietor, Rudolph Bloom: an envelope addressed: _To My DearSon Leopold_.

What fractions of phrases did the lecture of those five whole wordsevoke?

Tomorrow will be a week that I received... it is no use Leopold to be... with your dear mother... that is not more to stand... to her... allfor me is out... be kind to Athos, Leopold... my dear son... always...of me... _das Herz... Gott... dein_...

What reminiscences of a human subject suffering from progressivemelancholia did these objects evoke in Bloom?

An old man, widower, unkempt of hair, in bed, with head covered,sighing: an infirm dog, Athos: aconite, resorted to by increasing dosesof grains and scruples as a palliative of recrudescent neuralgia: theface in death of a septuagenarian, suicide by poison.

Why did Bloom experience a sentiment of remorse?

Because in immature impatience he had treated with disrespect certainbeliefs and practices.


The prohibition of the use of fleshmeat and milk at one meal: thehebdomadary symposium of incoordinately abstract, perfervidly concretemercantile coexreligionist excompatriots: the circumcision of maleinfants: the supernatural character of Judaic scripture: theineffability of the tetragrammaton: the sanctity of the sabbath.

How did these beliefs and practices now appear to him?

Not more rational than they had then appeared, not less rational thanother beliefs and practices now appeared.

What first reminiscence had he of Rudolph Bloom (deceased)?

Rudolph Bloom (deceased) narrated to his son Leopold Bloom (aged 6) aretrospective arrangement of migrations and settlements in and betweenDublin, London, Florence, Milan, Vienna, Budapest, Szombathely withstatements of satisfaction (his grandfather having seen Maria Theresia,empress of Austria, queen of Hungary), with commercial advice (havingtaken care of pence, the pounds having taken care of themselves).Leopold Bloom (aged 6) had accompanied these narrations by constantconsultation of a geographical map of Europe (political) and bysuggestions for the establishment of affiliated business premises inthe various centres mentioned.

Had time equally but differently obliterated the memory of thesemigrations in narrator and listener?

In narrator by the access of years and in consequence of the use ofnarcotic toxin: in listener by the access of years and in consequenceof the action of distraction upon vicarious experiences.

What idiosyncracies of the narrator were concomitant products ofamnesia?

Occasionally he ate without having previously removed his hat.Occasionally he drank voraciously the juice of gooseberry fool from aninclined plate. Occasionally he removed from his lips the traces offood by means of a lacerated envelope or other accessible fragment ofpaper.

What two phenomena of senescence were more frequent?

The myopic digital calculation of coins, eructation consequent uponrepletion.

What object offered partial consolation for these reminiscences?

The endowment policy, the bank passbook, the certificate of thepossession of scrip.

Reduce Bloom by cross multiplication of reverses of fortune, from whichthese supports protected him, and by elimination of all positive valuesto a negligible negative irrational unreal quantity.

Successively, in descending helotic order: Poverty: that of the outdoorhawker of imitation jewellery, the dun for the recovery of bad anddoubtful debts, the poor rate and deputy cess collector. Mendicancy:that of the fraudulent bankrupt with negligible assets paying 1/4d inthe £, sandwichman, distributor of throwaways, nocturnal vagrant,insinuating sycophant, maimed sailor, blind stripling, superannuatedbailiff’s man, marfeast, lickplate, spoilsport, pickthank, eccentricpublic laughingstock seated on bench of public park under discardedperforated umbrella. Destitution: the inmate of Old Man’s House (RoyalHospital), Kilmainham, the inmate of Simpson’s Hospital for reduced butrespectable men permanently disabled by gout or want of sight. Nadir ofmisery: the aged impotent disfranchised ratesupported moribund lunaticpauper.

With which attendant indignities?

The unsympathetic indifference of previously amiable females, thecontempt of muscular males, the acceptance of fragments of bread, thesimulated ignorance of casual acquaintances, the latration ofillegitimate unlicensed vagabond dogs, the infantile discharge ofdecomposed vegetable missiles, worth little or nothing, nothing or lessthan nothing.

By what could such a situation be precluded?

By decease (change of state): by departure (change of place).

Which preferably?

The latter, by the line of least resistance.

What considerations rendered departure not entirely undesirable?

Constant cohabitation impeding mutual toleration of personal defects.The habit of independent purchase increasingly cultivated. Thenecessity to counteract by impermanent sojourn the permanence ofarrest.

What considerations rendered departure not irrational?

The parties concerned, uniting, had increased and multiplied, whichbeing done, offspring produced and educed to maturity, the parties, ifnot disunited were obliged to reunite for increase and multiplication,which was absurd, to form by reunion the original couple of unitingparties, which was impossible.

What considerations rendered departure desirable?

The attractive character of certain localities in Ireland and abroad,as represented in general geographical maps of polychrome design or inspecial ordnance survey charts by employment of scale numerals andhachures.

In Ireland?

The cliffs of Moher, the windy wilds of Connemara, lough Neagh withsubmerged petrified city, the Giant’s Causeway, Fort Camden and FortCarlisle, the Golden Vale of Tipperary, the islands of Aran, thepastures of royal Meath, Brigid’s elm in Kildare, the Queen’s Islandshipyard in Belfast, the Salmon Leap, the lakes of Killarney.


Ceylon (with spicegardens supplying tea to Thomas Kernan, agent forPulbrook, Robertson and Co, 2 Mincing Lane, London, E. C., 5 Damestreet, Dublin), Jerusalem, the holy city (with mosque of Omar and gateof Damascus, goal of aspiration), the straits of Gibraltar (the uniquebirthplace of Marion Tweedy), the Parthenon (containing statues of nudeGrecian divinities), the Wall street money market (which controlledinternational finance), the Plaza de Toros at La Linea, Spain (whereO’Hara of the Camerons had slain the bull), Niagara (over which nohuman being had passed with impunity), the land of the Eskimos (eatersof soap), the forbidden country of Thibet (from which no travellerreturns), the bay of Naples (to see which was to die), the Dead Sea.

Under what guidance, following what signs?

At sea, septentrional, by night the polestar, located at the point ofintersection of the right line from beta to alpha in Ursa Maiorproduced and divided externally at omega and the hypotenuse of therightangled triangle formed by the line alpha omega so produced and theline alpha delta of Ursa Maior. On land, meridional, a bisphericalmoon, revealed in imperfect varying phases of lunation through theposterior interstice of the imperfectly occluded skirt of a carnosenegligent perambulating female, a pillar of the cloud by day.

What public advertisem*nt would divulge the occultation of thedeparted?

£ 5 reward, lost, stolen or strayed from his residence 7 Eccles street,missing gent about 40, answering to the name of Bloom, Leopold (Poldy),height 5 ft 9 1/2 inches, full build, olive complexion, may have sincegrown a beard, when last seen was wearing a black suit. Above sum willbe paid for information leading to his discovery.

What universal binomial denominations would be his as entity andnonentity?

Assumed by any or known to none. Everyman or Noman.

What tributes his?

Honour and gifts of strangers, the friends of Everyman. A nymphimmortal, beauty, the bride of Noman.

Would the departed never nowhere nohow reappear?

Ever he would wander, selfcompelled, to the extreme limit of hiscometary orbit, beyond the fixed stars and variable suns and telescopicplanets, astronomical waifs and strays, to the extreme boundary ofspace, passing from land to land, among peoples, amid events. Somewhereimperceptibly he would hear and somehow reluctantly, suncompelled, obeythe summons of recall. Whence, disappearing from the constellation ofthe Northern Crown he would somehow reappear reborn above delta in theconstellation of Cassiopeia and after incalculable eons ofperegrination return an estranged avenger, a wreaker of justice onmalefactors, a dark crusader, a sleeper awakened, with financialresources (by supposition) surpassing those of Rothschild or the silverking.

What would render such return irrational?

An unsatisfactory equation between an exodus and return in time throughreversible space and an exodus and return in space through irreversibletime.

What play of forces, inducing inertia, rendered departure undesirable?

The lateness of the hour, rendering procrastinatory: the obscurity ofthe night, rendering invisible: the uncertainty of thoroughfares,rendering perilous: the necessity for repose, obviating movement: theproximity of an occupied bed, obviating research: the anticipation ofwarmth (human) tempered with coolness (linen), obviating desire andrendering desirable: the statue of Narcissus, sound without echo,desired desire.

What advantages were possessed by an occupied, as distinct from anunoccupied bed?

The removal of nocturnal solitude, the superior quality of human(mature female) to inhuman (hotwaterjar) calefaction, the stimulationof matutinal contact, the economy of mangling done on the premises inthe case of trousers accurately folded and placed lengthwise betweenthe spring mattress (striped) and the woollen mattress (biscuitsection).

What past consecutive causes, before rising preapprehended, ofaccumulated fatigue did Bloom, before rising, silently recapitulate?

The preparation of breakfast (burnt offering): intestinal congestionand premeditative defecation (holy of holies): the bath (rite of John):the funeral (rite of Samuel): the advertisem*nt of Alexander Keyes(Urim and Thummim): the unsubstantial lunch (rite of Melchisedek): thevisit to museum and national library (holy place): the bookhunt alongBedford row, Merchants’ Arch, Wellington Quay (Simchath Torah): themusic in the Ormond Hotel (Shira Shirim): the altercation with atruculent troglodyte in Bernard Kiernan’s premises (holocaust): a blankperiod of time including a cardrive, a visit to a house of mourning, aleavetaking (wilderness): the eroticism produced by feminineexhibitionism (rite of Onan): the prolonged delivery of Mrs MinaPurefoy (heave offering): the visit to the disorderly house of MrsBella Cohen, 82 Tyrone street, lower, and subsequent brawl and chancemedley in Beaver street (Armageddon): nocturnal perambulation to andfrom the cabman’s shelter, Butt Bridge (atonement).

What selfimposed enigma did Bloom about to rise in order to go so as toconclude lest he should not conclude involuntarily apprehend?

The cause of a brief sharp unforeseen heard loud lone crack emitted bythe insentient material of a strainveined timber table.

What selfinvolved enigma did Bloom risen, going, gatheringmulticoloured multiform multitudinous garments, voluntarilyapprehending, not comprehend?

Who was M’Intosh?

What selfevident enigma pondered with desultory constancy during 30years did Bloom now, having effected natural obscurity by theextinction of artificial light, silently suddenly comprehend?

Where was Moses when the candle went out?

What imperfections in a perfect day did Bloom, walking, charged withcollected articles of recently disvested male wearing apparel,silently, successively, enumerate?

A provisional failure to obtain renewal of an advertisem*nt: to obtaina certain quantity of tea from Thomas Kernan (agent for Pulbrook,Robertson and Co, 5 Dame Street, Dublin, and 2 Mincing Lane, London E.C.): to certify the presence or absence of posterior rectal orifice inthe case of Hellenic female divinities: to obtain admission (gratuitousor paid) to the performance of _Leah_ by Mrs Bandmann Palmer at theGaiety Theatre, 46, 47, 48, 49 South King street.

What impression of an absent face did Bloom, arrested, silently recall?

The face of her father, the late Major Brian Cooper Tweedy, RoyalDublin Fusiliers, of Gibraltar and Rehoboth, Dolphin’s Barn.

What recurrent impressions of the same were possible by hypothesis?

Retreating, at the terminus of the Great Northern Railway, Amiensstreet, with constant uniform acceleration, along parallel linesmeeting at infinity, if produced: along parallel lines, reproduced frominfinity, with constant uniform retardation, at the terminus of theGreat Northern Railway, Amiens street, returning.

What miscellaneous effects of female personal wearing apparel wereperceived by him?

A pair of new inodorous halfsilk black ladies’ hose, a pair of newviolet garters, a pair of outsize ladies’ drawers of India mull, cut ongenerous lines, redolent of opoponax, jessamine and Muratti’s Turkishcigarettes and containing a long bright steel safety pin, foldedcurvilinear, a camisole of batiste with thin lace border, an accordionunderskirt of blue silk moirette, all these objects being disposedirregularly on the top of a rectangular trunk, quadruple battened,having capped corners, with multicoloured labels, initialled on itsfore side in white lettering B. C. T. (Brian Cooper Tweedy).

What impersonal objects were perceived?

A commode, one leg fractured, totally covered by square cretonnecutting, apple design, on which rested a lady’s black straw hat.Orangekeyed ware, bought of Henry Price, basket, fancy goods, chinawareand ironmongery manufacturer, 21, 22, 23 Moore street, disposedirregularly on the washstand and floor and consisting of basin,soapdish and brushtray (on the washstand, together), pitcher and nightarticle (on the floor, separate).

Bloom’s acts?

He deposited the articles of clothing on a chair, removed his remainingarticles of clothing, took from beneath the bolster at the head of thebed a folded long white nightshirt, inserted his head and arms into theproper apertures of the nightshirt, removed a pillow from the head tothe foot of the bed, prepared the bedlinen accordingly and entered thebed.


With circ*mspection, as invariably when entering an abode (his own ornot his own): with solicitude, the snakespiral springs of the mattressbeing old, the brass quoits and pendent viper radii loose and tremulousunder stress and strain: prudently, as entering a lair or ambush oflust or adders: lightly, the less to disturb: reverently, the bed ofconception and of birth, of consummation of marriage and of breach ofmarriage, of sleep and of death.

What did his limbs, when gradually extended, encounter?

New clean bedlinen, additional odours, the presence of a human form,female, hers, the imprint of a human form, male, not his, some crumbs,some flakes of potted meat, recooked, which he removed.

If he had smiled why would he have smiled?

To reflect that each one who enters imagines himself to be the first toenter whereas he is always the last term of a preceding series even ifthe first term of a succeeding one, each imagining himself to be first,last, only and alone whereas he is neither first nor last nor only noralone in a series originating in and repeated to infinity.

What preceding series?

Assuming Mulvey to be the first term of his series, Penrose, Bartelld’Arcy, professor Goodwin, Julius Mastiansky, John Henry Menton, FatherBernard Corrigan, a farmer at the Royal Dublin Society’s Horse Show,Maggot O’Reilly, Matthew Dillon, Valentine Blake Dillon (Lord Mayor ofDublin), Christopher Callinan, Lenehan, an Italian organgrinder, anunknown gentleman in the Gaiety Theatre, Benjamin Dollard, SimonDedalus, Andrew (Pisser) Burke, Joseph Cuffe, Wisdom Hely, AldermanJohn Hooper, Dr Francis Brady, Father Sebastian of Mount Argus, abootblack at the General Post Office, Hugh E. (Blazes) Boylan and soeach and so on to no last term.

What were his reflections concerning the last member of this series andlate occupant of the bed?

Reflections on his vigour (a bounder), corporal proportion (abillsticker), commercial ability (a bester), impressionability (aboaster).

Why for the observer impressionability in addition to vigour, corporalproportion and commercial ability?

Because he had observed with augmenting frequency in the precedingmembers of the same series the same concupiscence, inflammablytransmitted, first with alarm, then with understanding, then withdesire, finally with fatigue, with alternating symptoms of epicenecomprehension and apprehension.

With what antagonistic sentiments were his subsequent reflectionsaffected?

Envy, jealousy, abnegation, equanimity.


Of a bodily and mental male organism specially adapted for thesuperincumbent posture of energetic human copulation and energeticpiston and cylinder movement necessary for the complete satisfaction ofa constant but not acute concupiscence resident in a bodily and mentalfemale organism, passive but not obtuse.


Because a nature full and volatile in its free state, was alternatelythe agent and reagent of attraction. Because attraction betweenagent(s) and reagent(s) at all instants varied, with inverse proportionof increase and decrease, with incessant circular extension and radialreentrance. Because the controlled contemplation of the fluctuation ofattraction produced, if desired, a fluctuation of pleasure.


In virtue of a) acquaintance initiated in September 1903 in theestablishment of George Mesias, merchant tailor and outfitter, 5 EdenQuay, b) hospitality extended and received in kind, reciprocated andreappropriated in person, c) comparative youth subject to impulses ofambition and magnanimity, colleagual altruism and amorous egoism, d)extraracial attraction, intraracial inhibition, supraracialprerogative, e) an imminent provincial musical tour, common currentexpenses, net proceeds divided.


As as natural as any and every natural act of a nature expressed orunderstood executed in natured nature by natural creatures inaccordance with his, her and their natured natures, of dissimilarsimilarity. As not so calamitous as a cataclysmic annihilation of theplanet in consequence of a collision with a dark sun. As lessreprehensible than theft, highway robbery, cruelty to children andanimals, obtaining money under false pretences, forgery, embezzlement,misappropriation of public money, betrayal of public trust,malingering, mayhem, corruption of minors, criminal libel, blackmail,contempt of court, arson, treason, felony, mutiny on the high seas,trespass, burglary, jailbreaking, practice of unnatural vice, desertionfrom armed forces in the field, perjury, poaching, usury, intelligencewith the king’s enemies, impersonation, criminal assault, manslaughter,wilful and premeditated murder. As not more abnormal than all otherparallel processes of adaptation to altered conditions of existence,resulting in a reciprocal equilibrium between the bodily organism andits attendant circ*mstances, foods, beverages, acquired habits,indulged inclinations, significant disease. As more than inevitable,irreparable.

Why more abnegation than jealousy, less envy than equanimity?

From outrage (matrimony) to outrage (adultery) there arose nought butoutrage (copulation) yet the matrimonial violator of the matrimoniallyviolated had not been outraged by the adulterous violator of theadulterously violated.

What retribution, if any?

Assassination, never, as two wrongs did not make one right. Duel bycombat, no. Divorce, not now. Exposure by mechanical artifice(automatic bed) or individual testimony (concealed ocular witnesses),not yet. Suit for damages by legal influence or simulation of assaultwith evidence of injuries sustained (selfinflicted), not impossibly.Hushmoney by moral influence, possibly. If any, positively, connivance,introduction of emulation (material, a prosperous rival agency ofpublicity: moral, a successful rival agent of intimacy), depreciation,alienation, humiliation, separation protecting the one separated fromthe other, protecting the separator from both.

By what reflections did he, a conscious reactor against the void ofincertitude, justify to himself his sentiments?

The preordained frangibility of the hymen: the presupposedintangibility of the thing in itself: the incongruity and disproportionbetween the selfprolonging tension of the thing proposed to be done andthe selfabbreviating relaxation of the thing done: the fallaciouslyinferred debility of the female: the muscularity of the male: thevariations of ethical codes: the natural grammatical transition byinversion involving no alteration of sense of an aorist preteriteproposition (parsed as masculine subject, monosyllabic onomatopoeictransitive verb with direct feminine object) from the active voice intoits correlative aorist preterite proposition (parsed as femininesubject, auxiliary verb and quasimonosyllabic onomatopoeic pastparticiple with complementary masculine agent) in the passive voice:the continued product of seminators by generation: the continualproduction of sem*n by distillation: the futility of triumph or protestor vindication: the inanity of extolled virtue: the lethargy ofnescient matter: the apathy of the stars.

In what final satisfaction did these antagonistic sentiments andreflections, reduced to their simplest forms, converge?

Satisfaction at the ubiquity in eastern and western terrestrialhemispheres, in all habitable lands and islands explored or unexplored(the land of the midnight sun, the islands of the blessed, the isles ofGreece, the land of promise), of adipose anterior and posterior femalehemispheres, redolent of milk and honey and of excretory sanguine andseminal warmth, reminiscent of secular families of curves of amplitude,insusceptible of moods of impression or of contrarieties of expression,expressive of mute immutable mature animality.

The visible signs of antesatisfaction?

An approximate erection: a solicitous adversion: a gradual elevation: atentative revelation: a silent contemplation.


He kissed the plump mellow yellow smellow melons of her rump, on eachplump melonous hemisphere, in their mellow yellow furrow, with obscureprolonged provocative melonsmellonous osculation.

The visible signs of postsatisfaction?

A silent contemplation: a tentative velation: a gradual abasem*nt: asolicitous aversion: a proximate erection.

What followed this silent action?

Somnolent invocation, less somnolent recognition, incipient excitation,catechetical interrogation.

With what modifications did the narrator reply to this interrogation?

Negative: he omitted to mention the clandestine correspondence betweenMartha Clifford and Henry Flower, the public altercation at, in and inthe vicinity of the licensed premises of Bernard Kiernan and Co,Limited, 8, 9 and 10 Little Britain street, the erotic provocation andresponse thereto caused by the exhibitionism of Gertrude (Gerty),surname unknown. Positive: he included mention of a performance by MrsBandmann Palmer of _Leah_ at the Gaiety Theatre, 46, 47, 48, 49 SouthKing street, an invitation to supper at Wynn’s (Murphy’s) Hotel, 35, 36and 37 Lower Abbey street, a volume of peccaminous p*rnographicaltendency entituled _Sweets of Sin_, anonymous author a gentleman offashion, a temporary concussion caused by a falsely calculated movementin the course of a postcenal gymnastic display, the victim (sincecompletely recovered) being Stephen Dedalus, professor and author,eldest surviving son of Simon Dedalus, of no fixed occupation, anaeronautical feat executed by him (narrator) in the presence of awitness, the professor and author aforesaid, with promptitude ofdecision and gymnastic flexibility.

Was the narration otherwise unaltered by modifications?


Which event or person emerged as the salient point of his narration?

Stephen Dedalus, professor and author.

What limitations of activity and inhibitions of conjugal rights wereperceived by listener and narrator concerning themselves during thecourse of this intermittent and increasingly more laconic narration?

By the listener a limitation of fertility inasmuch as marriage had beencelebrated 1 calendar month after the 18th anniversary of her birth (8September 1870), viz. 8 October, and consummated on the same date withfemale issue born 15 June 1889, having been anticipatorily consummatedon the 10 September of the same year and complete carnal intercourse,with ejacul*tion of sem*n within the natural female organ, having lasttaken place 5 weeks previous, viz. 27 November 1893, to the birth on 29December 1893 of second (and only male) issue, deceased 9 January 1894,aged 11 days, there remained a period of 10 years, 5 months and 18 daysduring which carnal intercourse had been incomplete, withoutejacul*tion of sem*n within the natural female organ. By the narrator alimitation of activity, mental and corporal, inasmuch as completemental intercourse between himself and the listener had not taken placesince the consummation of puberty, indicated by catamenic hemorrhage,of the female issue of narrator and listener, 15 September 1903, thereremained a period of 9 months and 1 day during which, in consequence ofa preestablished natural comprehension in incomprehension between theconsummated females (listener and issue), complete corporal liberty ofaction had been circ*mscribed.


By various reiterated feminine interrogation concerning the masculinedestination whither, the place where, the time at which, the durationfor which, the object with which in the case of temporary absences,projected or effected.

What moved visibly above the listener’s and the narrator’s invisiblethoughts?

The upcast reflection of a lamp and shade, an inconstant series ofconcentric circles of varying gradations of light and shadow.

In what directions did listener and narrator lie?

Listener, S. E. by E.: Narrator, N. W. by W.: on the 53rd parallel oflatitude, N., and 6th meridian of longitude, W.: at an angle of 45° tothe terrestrial equator.

In what state of rest or motion?

At rest relatively to themselves and to each other. In motion beingeach and both carried westward, forward and rereward respectively, bythe proper perpetual motion of the earth through everchanging tracks ofneverchanging space.

In what posture?

Listener: reclined semilaterally, left, left hand under head, right legextended in a straight line and resting on left leg, flexed, in theattitude of Gea-Tellus, fulfilled, recumbent, big with seed. Narrator:reclined laterally, left, with right and left legs flexed, the indexfinger and thumb of the right hand resting on the bridge of the nose,in the attitude depicted in a snapshot photograph made by Percy Apjohn,the childman weary, the manchild in the womb.

Womb? Weary?

He rests. He has travelled.


Sinbad the Sailor and Tinbad the Tailor and Jinbad the Jailer andWhinbad the Whaler and Ninbad the Nailer and Finbad the Failer andBinbad the Bailer and Pinbad the Pailer and Minbad the Mailer andHinbad the Hailer and Rinbad the Railer and Dinbad the Kailer andVinbad the Quailer and Linbad the Yailer and Xinbad the Phthailer.


Going to dark bed there was a square round Sinbad the Sailor roc’sauk’s egg in the night of the bed of all the auks of the rocs ofDarkinbad the Brightdayler.


[ 18 ]

Yes because he never did a thing like that before as ask to get hisbreakfast in bed with a couple of eggs since the _City Arms_ hotel whenhe used to be pretending to be laid up with a sick voice doing hishighness to make himself interesting for that old woodcut Mrs Riordanthat he thought he had a great leg of and she never left us a farthingall for masses for herself and her soul greatest miser ever wasactually afraid to lay out 4d for her methylated spirit telling me allher ailments she had too much old chat in her about politics andearthquakes and the end of the world let us have a bit of fun first Godhelp the world if all the women were her sort down on bathingsuits andlownecks of course nobody wanted her to wear them I suppose she waspious because no man would look at her twice I hope Ill never be likeher a wonder she didnt want us to cover our faces but she was awelleducated woman certainly and her gabby talk about Mr Riordan hereand Mr Riordan there I suppose he was glad to get shut of her and herdog smelling my fur and always edging to get up under my petticoatsespecially then still I like that in him polite to old women like thatand waiters and beggars too hes not proud out of nothing but not alwaysif ever he got anything really serious the matter with him its muchbetter for them to go into a hospital where everything is clean but Isuppose Id have to dring it into him for a month yes and then wed havea hospital nurse next thing on the carpet have him staying there tillthey throw him out or a nun maybe like the smutty photo he has shes asmuch a nun as Im not yes because theyre so weak and puling when theyresick they want a woman to get well if his nose bleeds youd think it wasO tragic and that dyinglooking one off the south circular when hesprained his foot at the choir party at the sugarloaf Mountain the dayI wore that dress Miss Stack bringing him flowers the worst old onesshe could find at the bottom of the basket anything at all to get intoa mans bedroom with her old maids voice trying to imagine he was dyingon account of her to never see thy face again though he looked morelike a man with his beard a bit grown in the bed father was the samebesides I hate bandaging and dosing when he cut his toe with the razorparing his corns afraid hed get bloodpoisoning but if it was a thing Iwas sick then wed see what attention only of course the woman hides itnot to give all the trouble they do yes he came somewhere Im sure byhis appetite anyway love its not or hed be off his feed thinking of herso either it was one of those night women if it was down there he wasreally and the hotel story he made up a pack of lies to hide itplanning it Hynes kept me who did I meet ah yes I met do you rememberMenton and who else who let me see that big babbyface I saw him and henot long married flirting with a young girl at Pooles Myriorama andturned my back on him when he slinked out looking quite conscious whatharm but he had the impudence to make up to me one time well done tohim mouth almighty and his boiled eyes of all the big stupoes I evermet and thats called a solicitor only for I hate having a long wranglein bed or else if its not that its some little bitch or other he got inwith somewhere or picked up on the sly if they only knew him as well asI do yes because the day before yesterday he was scribbling something aletter when I came into the front room to show him Dignams death in thepaper as if something told me and he covered it up with theblottingpaper pretending to be thinking about business so very probablythat was it to somebody who thinks she has a softy in him because allmen get a bit like that at his age especially getting on to forty he isnow so as to wheedle any money she can out of him no fool like an oldfool and then the usual kissing my bottom was to hide it not that Icare two straws now who he does it with or knew before that way thoughId like to find out so long as I dont have the two of them under mynose all the time like that slu*t that Mary we had in Ontario terracepadding out her false bottom to excite him bad enough to get the smellof those painted women off him once or twice I had a suspicion bygetting him to come near me when I found the long hair on his coatwithout that one when I went into the kitchen pretending he wasdrinking water 1 woman is not enough for them it was all his fault ofcourse ruining servants then proposing that she could eat at our tableon Christmas day if you please O no thank you not in my house stealingmy potatoes and the oysters 2/6 per doz going out to see her aunt ifyou please common robbery so it was but I was sure he had something onwith that one it takes me to find out a thing like that he said youhave no proof it was her proof O yes her aunt was very fond of oystersbut I told her what I thought of her suggesting me to go out to bealone with her I wouldnt lower myself to spy on them the garters Ifound in her room the Friday she was out that was enough for me alittle bit too much her face swelled up on her with temper when I gaveher her weeks notice I saw to that better do without them altogether doout the rooms myself quicker only for the damn cooking and throwing outthe dirt I gave it to him anyhow either she or me leaves the house Icouldnt even touch him if I thought he was with a dirty barefaced liarand sloven like that one denying it up to my face and singing about theplace in the W C too because she knew she was too well off yes becausehe couldnt possibly do without it that long so he must do it somewhereand the last time he came on my bottom when was it the night Boylangave my hand a great squeeze going along by the Tolka in my hand theresteals another I just pressed the back of his like that with my thumbto squeeze back singing the young May moon shes beaming love because hehas an idea about him and me hes not such a fool he said Im dining outand going to the Gaiety though Im not going to give him thesatisfaction in any case God knows hes a change in a way not to bealways and ever wearing the same old hat unless I paid some nicelookingboy to do it since I cant do it myself a young boy would like me Idconfuse him a little alone with him if we were Id let him see mygarters the new ones and make him turn red looking at him seduce him Iknow what boys feel with that down on their cheek doing that friggingdrawing out the thing by the hour question and answer would you do thisthat and the other with the coalman yes with a bishop yes I wouldbecause I told him about some dean or bishop was sitting beside me inthe jews temples gardens when I was knitting that woollen thing astranger to Dublin what place was it and so on about the monuments andhe tired me out with statues encouraging him making him worse than heis who is in your mind now tell me who are you thinking of who is ittell me his name who tell me who the german Emperor is it yes imagineIm him think of him can you feel him trying to make a whor* of me whathe never will he ought to give it up now at this age of his life simplyruination for any woman and no satisfaction in it pretending to like ittill he comes and then finish it off myself anyway and it makes yourlips pale anyhow its done now once and for all with all the talk of theworld about it people make its only the first time after that its justthe ordinary do it and think no more about it why cant you kiss a manwithout going and marrying him first you sometimes love to wildly whenyou feel that way so nice all over you you cant help yourself I wishsome man or other would take me sometime when hes there and kiss me inhis arms theres nothing like a kiss long and hot down to your soulalmost paralyses you then I hate that confession when I used to go toFather Corrigan he touched me father and what harm if he did where andI said on the canal bank like a fool but whereabouts on your person mychild on the leg behind high up was it yes rather high up was it whereyou sit down yes O Lord couldnt he say bottom right out and have donewith it what has that got to do with it and did you whatever way he putit I forget no father and I always think of the real father what did hewant to know for when I already confessed it to God he had a nice fathand the palm moist always I wouldnt mind feeling it neither would heId say by the bullneck in his horsecollar I wonder did he know me inthe box I could see his face he couldnt see mine of course hed neverturn or let on still his eyes were red when his father died theyre lostfor a woman of course must be terrible when a man cries let alone themId like to be embraced by one in his vestments and the smell of incenseoff him like the pope besides theres no danger with a priest if youremarried hes too careful about himself then give something to H H thepope for a penance I wonder was he satisfied with me one thing I didntlike his slapping me behind going away so familiarly in the hall thoughI laughed Im not a horse or an ass am I I suppose he was thinking ofhis fathers I wonder is he awake thinking of me or dreaming am I in itwho gave him that flower he said he bought he smelt of some kind ofdrink not whisky or stout or perhaps the sweety kind of paste theystick their bills up with some liqueur Id like to sip those richlookinggreen and yellow expensive drinks those stagedoor johnnies drink withthe opera hats I tasted once with my finger dipped out of that Americanthat had the squirrel talking stamps with father he had all he could doto keep himself from falling asleep after the last time after we tookthe port and potted meat it had a fine salty taste yes because I feltlovely and tired myself and fell asleep as sound as a top the moment Ipopped straight into bed till that thunder woke me up God be mercifulto us I thought the heavens were coming down about us to punish us whenI blessed myself and said a Hail Mary like those awful thunderbolts inGibraltar as if the world was coming to an end and then they come andtell you theres no God what could you do if it was running and rushingabout nothing only make an act of contrition the candle I lit thatevening in Whitefriars street chapel for the month of May see itbrought its luck though hed scoff if he heard because he never goes tochurch mass or meeting he says your soul you have no soul inside onlygrey matter because he doesnt know what it is to have one yes when Ilit the lamp because he must have come 3 or 4 times with thattremendous big red brute of a thing he has I thought the vein orwhatever the dickens they call it was going to burst though his nose isnot so big after I took off all my things with the blinds down after myhours dressing and perfuming and combing it like iron or some kind of athick crowbar standing all the time he must have eaten oysters I thinka few dozen he was in great singing voice no I never in all my lifefelt anyone had one the size of that to make you feel full up he musthave eaten a whole sheep after whats the idea making us like that witha big hole in the middle of us or like a Stallion driving it up intoyou because thats all they want out of you with that determined viciouslook in his eye I had to halfshut my eyes still he hasnt such atremendous amount of spunk in him when I made him pull out and do it onme considering how big it is so much the better in case any of it wasntwashed out properly the last time I let him finish it in me niceinvention they made for women for him to get all the pleasure but ifsomeone gave them a touch of it themselves theyd know what I wentthrough with Milly nobody would believe cutting her teeth too and MinaPurefoys husband give us a swing out of your whiskers filling her upwith a child or twins once a year as regular as the clock always with asmell of children off her the one they called budgers or something likea slave with a shock of hair on it Jesusjack the child is a black thelast time I was there a squad of them falling over one another andbawling you couldnt hear your ears supposed to be healthy not satisfiedtill they have us swollen out like elephants or I dont know whatsupposing I risked having another not off him though still if he wasmarried Im sure hed have a fine strong child but I dont know Poldy hasmore spunk in him yes thatd be awfully jolly I suppose it was meetingJosie Powell and the funeral and thinking about me and Boylan set himoff well he can think what he likes now if thatll do him any good Iknow they were spooning a bit when I came on the scene he was dancingand sitting out with her the night of Georgina Simpsons housewarmingand then he wanted to ram it down my neck it was on account of notliking to see her a wallflower that was why we had the standup row overpolitics he began it not me when he said about Our Lord being acarpenter at last he made me cry of course a woman is so sensitiveabout everything I was fuming with myself after for giving in only forI knew he was gone on me and the first socialist he said He was heannoyed me so much I couldnt put him into a temper still he knows a lotof mixedup things especially about the body and the inside I oftenwanted to study up that myself what we have inside us in that familyphysician I could always hear his voice talking when the room wascrowded and watch him after that I pretended I had a coolness on withher over him because he used to be a bit on the jealous side wheneverhe asked who are you going to and I said over to Floey and he made methe present of Byrons poems and the three pairs of gloves so thatfinished that I could quite easily get him to make it up any time Iknow how Id even supposing he got in with her again and was going outto see her somewhere Id know if he refused to eat the onions I knowplenty of ways ask him to tuck down the collar of my blouse or touchhim with my veil and gloves on going out 1 kiss then would send themall spinning however alright well see then let him go to her she ofcourse would only be too delighted to pretend shes mad in love with himthat I wouldnt so much mind Id just go to her and ask her do you lovehim and look her square in the eyes she couldnt fool me but he mightimagine he was and make a declaration to her with his plabbery kind ofa manner like he did to me though I had the devils own job to get itout of him though I liked him for that it showed he could hold in andwasnt to be got for the asking he was on the pop of asking me too thenight in the kitchen I was rolling the potato cake theres something Iwant to say to you only for I put him off letting on I was in a temperwith my hands and arms full of pasty flour in any case I let out toomuch the night before talking of dreams so I didnt want to let him knowmore than was good for him she used to be always embracing me Josiewhenever he was there meaning him of course glauming me over and when Isaid I washed up and down as far as possible asking me and did you washpossible the women are always egging on to that putting it on thickwhen hes there they know by his sly eye blinking a bit putting on theindifferent when they come out with something the kind he is whatspoils him I dont wonder in the least because he was very handsome atthat time trying to look like Lord Byron I said I liked though he wastoo beautiful for a man and he was a little before we got engagedafterwards though she didnt like it so much the day I was in fits oflaughing with the giggles I couldnt stop about all my hairpins fallingout one after another with the mass of hair I had youre always in greathumour she said yes because it grigged her because she knew what itmeant because I used to tell her a good bit of what went on between usnot all but just enough to make her mouth water but that wasnt my faultshe didnt darken the door much after we were married I wonder what shesgot like now after living with that dotty husband of hers she had herface beginning to look drawn and run down the last time I saw her shemust have been just after a row with him because I saw on the momentshe was edging to draw down a conversation about husbands and talkabout him to run him down what was it she told me O yes that sometimeshe used to go to bed with his muddy boots on when the maggot takes himjust imagine having to get into bed with a thing like that that mightmurder you any moment what a man well its not the one way everyone goesmad Poldy anyhow whatever he does always wipes his feet on the mat whenhe comes in wet or shine and always blacks his own boots too and healways takes off his hat when he comes up in the street like then andnow hes going about in his slippers to look for £ 10000 for a postcardU p up O sweetheart May wouldnt a thing like that simply bore you stiffto extinction actually too stupid even to take his boots off now whatcould you make of a man like that Id rather die 20 times over thanmarry another of their sex of course hed never find another woman likeme to put up with him the way I do know me come sleep with me yes andhe knows that too at the bottom of his heart take that Mrs Maybrickthat poisoned her husband for what I wonder in love with some other manyes it was found out on her wasnt she the downright villain to go anddo a thing like that of course some men can be dreadfully aggravatingdrive you mad and always the worst word in the world what do they askus to marry them for if were so bad as all that comes to yes becausethey cant get on without us white Arsenic she put in his tea offflypaper wasnt it I wonder why they call it that if I asked him hed sayits from the Greek leave us as wise as we were before she must havebeen madly in love with the other fellow to run the chance of beinghanged O she didnt care if that was her nature what could she dobesides theyre not brutes enough to go and hang a woman surely are they

theyre all so different Boylan talking about the shape of my foot henoticed at once even before he was introduced when I was in the D B Cwith Poldy laughing and trying to listen I was waggling my foot we bothordered 2 teas and plain bread and butter I saw him looking with histwo old maids of sisters when I stood up and asked the girl where itwas what do I care with it dropping out of me and that black closedbreeches he made me buy takes you half an hour to let them down wettingall myself always with some brandnew fad every other week such a longone I did I forgot my suede gloves on the seat behind that I never gotafter some robber of a woman and he wanted me to put it in the Irishtimes lost in the ladies lavatory D B C Dame street finder return toMrs Marion Bloom and I saw his eyes on my feet going out through theturning door he was looking when I looked back and I went there for tea2 days after in the hope but he wasnt now how did that excite himbecause I was crossing them when we were in the other room first hemeant the shoes that are too tight to walk in my hand is nice like thatif I only had a ring with the stone for my month a nice aquamarine Illstick him for one and a gold bracelet I dont like my foot so much stillI made him spend once with my foot the night after Goodwins botchup ofa concert so cold and windy it was well we had that rum in the house tomull and the fire wasnt black out when he asked to take off mystockings lying on the hearthrug in Lombard street west and anothertime it was my muddy boots hed like me to walk in all the horses dung Icould find but of course hes not natural like the rest of the worldthat I what did he say I could give 9 points in 10 to Katty Lanner andbeat her what does that mean I asked him I forget what he said becausethe stoppress edition just passed and the man with the curly hair inthe Lucan dairy thats so polite I think I saw his face before somewhereI noticed him when I was tasting the butter so I took my time BartellDArcy too that he used to make fun of when he commenced kissing me onthe choir stairs after I sang Gounods _Ave Maria_ what are we waitingfor O my heart kiss me straight on the brow and part which is my brownpart he was pretty hot for all his tinny voice too my low notes he wasalways raving about if you can believe him I liked the way he used hismouth singing then he said wasnt it terrible to do that there in aplace like that I dont see anything so terrible about it Ill tell himabout that some day not now and surprise him ay and Ill take him thereand show him the very place too we did it so now there you are like itor lump it he thinks nothing can happen without him knowing he hadnt anidea about my mother till we were engaged otherwise hed never have gotme so cheap as he did he was 10 times worse himself anyhow begging meto give him a tiny bit cut off my drawers that was the evening comingalong Kenilworth square he kissed me in the eye of my glove and I hadto take it off asking me questions is it permitted to enquire the shapeof my bedroom so I let him keep it as if I forgot it to think of mewhen I saw him slip it into his pocket of course hes mad on the subjectof drawers thats plain to be seen always skeezing at those brazenfacedthings on the bicycles with their skirts blowing up to their navelseven when Milly and I were out with him at the open air fete that onein the cream muslin standing right against the sun so he could seeevery atom she had on when he saw me from behind following in the rainI saw him before he saw me however standing at the corner of theHarolds cross road with a new raincoat on him with the muffler in theZingari colours to show off his complexion and the brown hat lookingslyboots as usual what was he doing there where hed no business theycan go and get whatever they like from anything at all with a skirt onit and were not to ask any questions but they want to know where wereyou where are you going I could feel him coming along skulking after mehis eyes on my neck he had been keeping away from the house he felt itwas getting too warm for him so I halfturned and stopped then hepestered me to say yes till I took off my glove slowly watching him hesaid my openwork sleeves were too cold for the rain anything for anexcuse to put his hand anear me drawers drawers the whole blessed timetill I promised to give him the pair off my doll to carry about in hiswaistcoat pocket _O Maria Santisima_ he did look a big fool dreeping inthe rain splendid set of teeth he had made me hungry to look at themand beseeched of me to lift the orange petticoat I had on with thesunray pleats that there was nobody he said hed kneel down in the wetif I didnt so persevering he would too and ruin his new raincoat younever know what freak theyd take alone with you theyre so savage for itif anyone was passing so I lifted them a bit and touched his trousersoutside the way I used to Gardner after with my ring hand to keep himfrom doing worse where it was too public I was dying to find out was hecircumcised he was shaking like a jelly all over they want to doeverything too quick take all the pleasure out of it and father waitingall the time for his dinner he told me to say I left my purse in thebutchers and had to go back for it what a Deceiver then he wrote methat letter with all those words in it how could he have the face toany woman after his company manners making it so awkward after when wemet asking me have I offended you with my eyelids down of course he sawI wasnt he had a few brains not like that other fool Henny Doyle he wasalways breaking or tearing something in the charades I hate an unluckyman and if I knew what it meant of course I had to say no for form sakedont understand you I said and wasnt it natural so it is of course itused to be written up with a picture of a womans on that wall inGibraltar with that word I couldnt find anywhere only for childrenseeing it too young then writing every morning a letter sometimes twicea day I liked the way he made love then he knew the way to take a womanwhen he sent me the 8 big poppies because mine was the 8th then I wrotethe night he kissed my heart at Dolphins barn I couldnt describe itsimply it makes you feel like nothing on earth but he never knew how toembrace well like Gardner I hope hell come on Monday as he said at thesame time four I hate people who come at all hours answer the door youthink its the vegetables then its somebody and you all undressed or thedoor of the filthy sloppy kitchen blows open the day old frostyfaceGoodwin called about the concert in Lombard street and I just afterdinner all flushed and tossed with boiling old stew dont look at meprofessor I had to say Im a fright yes but he was a real old gent inhis way it was impossible to be more respectful nobody to say youre outyou have to peep out through the blind like the messengerboy today Ithought it was a putoff first him sending the port and the peachesfirst and I was just beginning to yawn with nerves thinking he wastrying to make a fool of me when I knew his tattarrattat at the door hemust have been a bit late because it was 1/4 after 3 when I saw the 2Dedalus girls coming from school I never know the time even that watchhe gave me never seems to go properly Id want to get it looked afterwhen I threw the penny to that lame sailor for England home and beautywhen I was whistling there is a charming girl I love and I hadnt evenput on my clean shift or powdered myself or a thing then this day weekwere to go to Belfast just as well he has to go to Ennis his fathersanniversary the 27th it wouldnt be pleasant if he did suppose our roomsat the hotel were beside each other and any fooling went on in the newbed I couldnt tell him to stop and not bother me with him in the nextroom or perhaps some protestant clergyman with a cough knocking on thewall then hed never believe the next day we didnt do something its allvery well a husband but you cant fool a lover after me telling him wenever did anything of course he didnt believe me no its better hesgoing where he is besides something always happens with him the timegoing to the Mallow concert at Maryborough ordering boiling soup forthe two of us then the bell rang out he walks down the platform withthe soup splashing about taking spoonfuls of it hadnt he the nerve andthe waiter after him making a holy show of us screeching and confusionfor the engine to start but he wouldnt pay till he finished it the twogentlemen in the 3rd class carriage said he was quite right so he wastoo hes so pigheaded sometimes when he gets a thing into his head agood job he was able to open the carriage door with his knife or theydhave taken us on to Cork I suppose that was done out of revenge on himO I love jaunting in a train or a car with lovely soft cushions Iwonder will he take a 1st class for me he might want to do it in thetrain by tipping the guard well O I suppose therell be the usual idiotsof men gaping at us with their eyes as stupid as ever they can possiblybe that was an exceptional man that common workman that left us alonein the carriage that day going to Howth Id like to find out somethingabout him 1 or 2 tunnels perhaps then you have to look out of thewindow all the nicer then coming back suppose I never came back whatwould they say eloped with him that gets you on on the stage the lastconcert I sang at where its over a year ago when was it St Teresas hallClarendon St little chits of missies they have now singing KathleenKearney and her like on account of father being in the army and mysinging the absentminded beggar and wearing a brooch for Lord Robertswhen I had the map of it all and Poldy not Irish enough was it himmanaged it this time I wouldnt put it past him like he got me on tosing in the _Stabat Mater_ by going around saying he was putting LeadKindly Light to music I put him up to that till the jesuits found outhe was a freemason thumping the piano lead Thou me on copied from someold opera yes and he was going about with some of them Sinner Feinlately or whatever they call themselves talking his usual trash andnonsense he says that little man he showed me without the neck is veryintelligent the coming man Griffiths is he well he doesnt look it thatsall I can say still it must have been him he knew there was a boycott Ihate the mention of their politics after the war that Pretoria andLadysmith and Bloemfontein where Gardner lieut Stanley G 8th Bn 2ndEast Lancs Rgt of enteric fever he was a lovely fellow in khaki andjust the right height over me Im sure he was brave too he said I waslovely the evening we kissed goodbye at the canal lock my Irish beautyhe was pale with excitement about going away or wed be seen from theroad he couldnt stand properly and I so hot as I never felt they couldhave made their peace in the beginning or old oom Paul and the rest ofthe other old Krugers go and fight it out between them instead ofdragging on for years killing any finelooking men there were with theirfever if he was even decently shot it wouldnt have been so bad I loveto see a regiment pass in review the first time I saw the Spanishcavalry at La Roque it was lovely after looking across the bay fromAlgeciras all the lights of the rock like fireflies or those shambattles on the 15 acres the Black Watch with their kilts in time at themarch past the 10th hussars the prince of Wales own or the lancers Othe lancers theyre grand or the Dublins that won Tugela his father madehis money over selling the horses for the cavalry well he could buy mea nice present up in Belfast after what I gave him theyve lovely linenup there or one of those nice kimono things I must buy a mothball likeI had before to keep in the drawer with them it would be exciting goinground with him shopping buying those things in a new city better leavethis ring behind want to keep turning and turning to get it over theknuckle there or they might bell it round the town in their papers ortell the police on me but theyd think were married O let them all goand smother themselves for the fat lot I care he has plenty of moneyand hes not a marrying man so somebody better get it out of him if Icould find out whether he likes me I looked a bit washy of course whenI looked close in the handglass powdering a mirror never gives you theexpression besides scrooching down on me like that all the time withhis big hipbones hes heavy too with his hairy chest for this heatalways having to lie down for them better for him put it into me frombehind the way Mrs Mastiansky told me her husband made her like thedogs do it and stick out her tongue as far as ever she could and he soquiet and mild with his tingating cither can you ever be up to men theway it takes them lovely stuff in that blue suit he had on and stylishtie and socks with the skyblue silk things on them hes certainlywelloff I know by the cut his clothes have and his heavy watch but hewas like a perfect devil for a few minutes after he came back with thestoppress tearing up the tickets and swearing blazes because he lost 20quid he said he lost over that outsider that won and half he put on forme on account of Lenehans tip cursing him to the lowest pits thatsponger he was making free with me after the Glencree dinner comingback that long joult over the featherbed mountain after the lord Mayorlooking at me with his dirty eyes Val Dillon that big heathen I firstnoticed him at dessert when I was cracking the nuts with my teeth Iwished I could have picked every morsel of that chicken out of myfingers it was so tasty and browned and as tender as anything only forI didnt want to eat everything on my plate those forks and fishslicerswere hallmarked silver too I wish I had some I could easily haveslipped a couple into my muff when I was playing with them then alwayshanging out of them for money in a restaurant for the bit you put downyour throat we have to be thankful for our mangy cup of tea itself as agreat compliment to be noticed the way the world is divided in any caseif its going to go on I want at least two other good chemises for onething and but I dont know what kind of drawers he likes none at all Ithink didnt he say yes and half the girls in Gibraltar never wore themeither naked as God made them that Andalusian singing her Manola shedidnt make much secret of what she hadnt yes and the second pair ofsilkette stockings is laddered after one days wear I could have broughtthem back to Lewers this morning and kicked up a row and made that onechange them only not to upset myself and run the risk of walking intohim and ruining the whole thing and one of those kidfitting corsets Idwant advertised cheap in the Gentlewoman with elastic gores on the hipshe saved the one I have but thats no good what did they say they give adelightful figure line 11/6 obviating that unsightly broad appearanceacross the lower back to reduce flesh my belly is a bit too big Illhave to knock off the stout at dinner or am I getting too fond of itthe last they sent from ORourkes was as flat as a pancake he makes hismoney easy Larry they call him the old mangy parcel he sent at Xmas acottage cake and a bottle of hogwash he tried to palm off as claretthat he couldnt get anyone to drink God spare his spit for fear hed dieof the drouth or I must do a few breathing exercises I wonder is thatantifat any good might overdo it the thin ones are not so much thefashion now garters that much I have the violet pair I wore today thatsall he bought me out of the cheque he got on the first O no there wasthe face lotion I finished the last of yesterday that made my skin likenew I told him over and over again get that made up in the same placeand dont forget it God only knows whether he did after all I said tohim Ill know by the bottle anyway if not I suppose Ill only have towash in my piss like beeftea or chickensoup with some of that opoponaxand violet I thought it was beginning to look coarse or old a bit theskin underneath is much finer where it peeled off there on my fingerafter the burn its a pity it isnt all like that and the four paltryhandkerchiefs about 6/- in all sure you cant get on in this worldwithout style all going in food and rent when I get it Ill lash itaround I tell you in fine style I always want to throw a handful of teainto the pot measuring and mincing if I buy a pair of old broguesitself do you like those new shoes yes were they Ive no clothes at allthe brown costume and the skirt and jacket and the one at the cleaners3 whats that for any woman cutting up this old hat and patching up theother the men wont look at you and women try to walk on you becausethey know youve no man then with all the things getting dearer everyday for the 4 years more I have of life up to 35 no Im what am I at allIll be 33 in September will I what O well look at that Mrs Galbraithshes much older than me I saw her when I was out last week her beautyson the wane she was a lovely woman magnificent head of hair on her downto her waist tossing it back like that like Kitty OShea in Granthamstreet 1st thing I did every morning to look across see her combing itas if she loved it and was full of it pity I only got to know her theday before we left and that Mrs Langtry the jersey lily the prince ofWales was in love with I suppose hes like the first man going the roadsonly for the name of a king theyre all made the one way only a blackmans Id like to try a beauty up to what was she 45 there was some funnystory about the jealous old husband what was it at all and an oysterknife he went no he made her wear a kind of a tin thing round her andthe prince of Wales yes he had the oyster knife cant be true a thinglike that like some of those books he brings me the works of MasterFrancois Somebody supposed to be a priest about a child born out of herear because her bumgut fell out a nice word for any priest to write andher a—e as if any fool wouldnt know what that meant I hate thatpretending of all things with that old blackguards face on him anybodycan see its not true and that Ruby and Fair Tyrants he brought me thattwice I remember when I came to page 50 the part about where she hangshim up out of a hook with a cord flagellate sure theres nothing for awoman in that all invention made up about he drinking the champagne outof her slipper after the ball was over like the infant Jesus in thecrib at Inchicore in the Blessed Virgins arms sure no woman could havea child that big taken out of her and I thought first it came out ofher side because how could she go to the chamber when she wanted to andshe a rich lady of course she felt honoured H R H he was in Gibraltarthe year I was born I bet he found lilies there too where he plantedthe tree he planted more than that in his time he might have planted metoo if hed come a bit sooner then I wouldnt be here as I am he ought tochuck that Freeman with the paltry few shillings he knocks out of itand go into an office or something where hed get regular pay or a bankwhere they could put him up on a throne to count the money all the dayof course he prefers plottering about the house so you cant stir withhim any side whats your programme today I wish hed even smoke a pipelike father to get the smell of a man or pretending to be moochingabout for advertisem*nts when he could have been in Mr Cuffes stillonly for what he did then sending me to try and patch it up I couldhave got him promoted there to be the manager he gave me a great miradaonce or twice first he was as stiff as the mischief really and trulyMrs Bloom only I felt rotten simply with the old rubbishy dress that Ilost the leads out of the tails with no cut in it but theyre cominginto fashion again I bought it simply to please him I knew it was nogood by the finish pity I changed my mind of going to Todd and Burns asI said and not Lees it was just like the shop itself rummage sale a lotof trash I hate those rich shops get on your nerves nothing kills mealtogether only he thinks he knows a great lot about a womans dress andcooking mathering everything he can scour off the shelves into it if Iwent by his advices every blessed hat I put on does that suit me yestake that thats alright the one like a weddingcake standing up milesoff my head he said suited me or the dishcover one coming down on mybackside on pins and needles about the shopgirl in that place inGrafton street I had the misfortune to bring him into and she asinsolent as ever she could be with her smirk saying Im afraid weregiving you too much trouble what shes there for but I stared it out ofher yes he was awfully stiff and no wonder but he changed the secondtime he looked Poldy pigheaded as usual like the soup but I could seehim looking very hard at my chest when he stood up to open the door forme it was nice of him to show me out in any case Im extremely sorry MrsBloom believe me without making it too marked the first time after himbeing insulted and me being supposed to be his wife I just half smiledI know my chest was out that way at the door when he said Im extremelysorry and Im sure you were

yes I think he made them a bit firmer sucking them like that so long hemade me thirsty titt*es he calls them I had to laugh yes this oneanyhow stiff the nipple gets for the least thing Ill get him to keepthat up and Ill take those eggs beaten up with marsala fatten them outfor him what are all those veins and things curious the way its made 2the same in case of twins theyre supposed to represent beauty placed upthere like those statues in the museum one of them pretending to hideit with her hand are they so beautiful of course compared with what aman looks like with his two bags full and his other thing hanging downout of him or sticking up at you like a hatrack no wonder they hide itwith a cabbageleaf that disgusting Cameron highlander behind the meatmarket or that other wretch with the red head behind the tree where thestatue of the fish used to be when I was passing pretending he waspissing standing out for me to see it with his babyclothes up to oneside the Queens own they were a nice lot its well the Surreys relievedthem theyre always trying to show it to you every time nearly I passedoutside the mens greenhouse near the Harcourt street station just totry some fellow or other trying to catch my eye as if it was 1 of the 7wonders of the world O and the stink of those rotten places the nightcoming home with Poldy after the Comerfords party oranges and lemonadeto make you feel nice and watery I went into 1 of them it was so bitingcold I couldnt keep it when was that 93 the canal was frozen yes it wasa few months after a pity a couple of the Camerons werent there to seeme squatting in the mens place meadero I tried to draw a picture of itbefore I tore it up like a sausage or something I wonder theyre notafraid going about of getting a kick or a bang of something there thewoman is beauty of course thats admitted when he said I could pose fora picture naked to some rich fellow in Holles street when he lost thejob in Helys and I was selling the clothes and strumming in the coffeepalace would I be like that bath of the nymph with my hair down yesonly shes younger or Im a little like that dirty bitch in that Spanishphoto he has nymphs used they go about like that I asked him about herand that word met something with hoses in it and he came out with somejawbreakers about the incarnation he never can explain a thing simplythe way a body can understand then he goes and burns the bottom out ofthe pan all for his Kidney this one not so much theres the mark of histeeth still where he tried to bite the nipple I had to scream out arentthey fearful trying to hurt you I had a great breast of milk with Millyenough for two what was the reason of that he said I could have got apound a week as a wet nurse all swelled out the morning that delicatelooking student that stopped in no 28 with the Citrons Penrose nearlycaught me washing through the window only for I snapped up the towel tomy face that was his studenting hurt me they used to weaning her tillhe got doctor Brady to give me the belladonna prescription I had to gethim to suck them they were so hard he said it was sweeter and thickerthan cows then he wanted to milk me into the tea well hes beyondeverything I declare somebody ought to put him in the budget if I onlycould remember the one half of the things and write a book out of itthe works of Master Poldy yes and its so much smoother the skin much anhour he was at them Im sure by the clock like some kind of a big infantI had at me they want everything in their mouth all the pleasure thosem*n get out of a woman I can feel his mouth O Lord I must stretchmyself I wished he was here or somebody to let myself go with and comeagain like that I feel all fire inside me or if I could dream it whenhe made me spend the 2nd time tickling me behind with his finger I wascoming for about 5 minutes with my legs round him I had to hug himafter O Lord I wanted to shout out all sorts of things f*ck or sh*t oranything at all only not to look ugly or those lines from the strainwho knows the way hed take it you want to feel your way with a mantheyre not all like him thank God some of them want you to be so niceabout it I noticed the contrast he does it and doesnt talk I gave myeyes that look with my hair a bit loose from the tumbling and my tonguebetween my lips up to him the savage brute Thursday Friday one Saturdaytwo Sunday three O Lord I cant wait till Monday

frseeeeeeeefronnnng train somewhere whistling the strength thoseengines have in them like big giants and the water rolling all over andout of them all sides like the end of Loves old sweeeetsonnnng the poormen that have to be out all the night from their wives and families inthose roasting engines stifling it was today Im glad I burned the halfof those old Freemans and Photo Bits leaving things like that lyingabout hes getting very careless and threw the rest of them up in the WC I’ll get him to cut them tomorrow for me instead of having them therefor the next year to get a few pence for them have him asking whereslast Januarys paper and all those old overcoats I bundled out of thehall making the place hotter than it is that rain was lovely andrefreshing just after my beauty sleep I thought it was going to getlike Gibraltar my goodness the heat there before the levanter came onblack as night and the glare of the rock standing up in it like a biggiant compared with their 3 Rock mountain they think is so great withthe red sentries here and there the poplars and they all whitehot andthe smell of the rainwater in those tanks watching the sun all the timeweltering down on you faded all that lovely frock fathers friend MrsStanhope sent me from the B Marche paris what a shame my dearestDoggerina she wrote on it she was very nice whats this her other namewas just a p c to tell you I sent the little present have just had ajolly warm bath and feel a very clean dog now enjoyed it wogger shecalled him wogger wd give anything to be back in Gib and hear you singWaiting and in old Madrid Concone is the name of those exercises hebought me one of those new some word I couldnt make out shawls amusingthings but tear for the least thing still there lovely I think dont youwill always think of the lovely teas we had together scrumptiouscurrant scones and raspberry wafers I adore well now dearest Doggerinabe sure and write soon kind she left out regards to your father alsoCaptain Grove with love yrs affly Hester x x x x x she didnt look a bitmarried just like a girl he was years older than her wogger he wasawfully fond of me when he held down the wire with his foot for me tostep over at the bullfight at La Linea when that matador Gomez wasgiven the bulls ear these clothes we have to wear whoever invented themexpecting you to walk up Killiney hill then for example at that picnicall staysed up you cant do a blessed thing in them in a crowd run orjump out of the way thats why I was afraid when that other ferociousold Bull began to charge the banderilleros with the sashes and the 2things in their hats and the brutes of men shouting bravo toro sure thewomen were as bad in their nice white mantillas ripping all the wholeinsides out of those poor horses I never heard of such a thing in allmy life yes he used to break his heart at me taking off the dog barkingin bell lane poor brute and it sick what became of them ever I supposetheyre dead long ago the 2 of them its like all through a mist makesyou feel so old I made the scones of course I had everything all tomyself then a girl Hester we used to compare our hair mine was thickerthan hers she showed me how to settle it at the back when I put it upand whats this else how to make a knot on a thread with the one hand wewere like cousins what age was I then the night of the storm I slept inher bed she had her arms round me then we were fighting in the morningwith the pillow what fun he was watching me whenever he got anopportunity at the band on the Alameda esplanade when I was with fatherand Captain Grove I looked up at the church first and then at thewindows then down and our eyes met I felt something go through me likeall needles my eyes were dancing I remember after when I looked atmyself in the glass hardly recognised myself the change he wasattractive to a girl in spite of his being a little bald intelligentlooking disappointed and gay at the same time he was like Thomas in theshadow of Ashlydyat I had a splendid skin from the sun and theexcitement like a rose I didnt get a wink of sleep it wouldnt have beennice on account of her but I could have stopped it in time she gave methe Moonstone to read that was the first I read of Wilkie Collins EastLynne I read and the shadow of Ashlydyat Mrs Henry Wood Henry Dunbar bythat other woman I lent him afterwards with Mulveys photo in it so ashe see I wasnt without and Lord Lytton Eugene Aram Molly bawn she gaveme by Mrs Hungerford on account of the name I dont like books with aMolly in them like that one he brought me about the one from Flanders awhor* always shoplifting anything she could cloth and stuff and yardsof it O this blanket is too heavy on me thats better I havent even onedecent nightdress this thing gets all rolled under me besides him andhis fooling thats better I used to be weltering then in the heat myshift drenched with the sweat stuck in the cheeks of my bottom on thechair when I stood up they were so fattish and firm when I got up onthe sofa cushions to see with my clothes up and the bugs tons of themat night and the mosquito nets I couldnt read a line Lord how long agoit seems centuries of course they never came back and she didnt put heraddress right on it either she may have noticed her wogger people werealways going away and we never I remember that day with the waves andthe boats with their high heads rocking and the smell of ship thoseOfficers uniforms on shore leave made me seasick he didnt say anythinghe was very serious I had the high buttoned boots on and my skirt wasblowing she kissed me six or seven times didnt I cry yes I believe Idid or near it my lips were taittering when I said goodbye she had aGorgeous wrap of some special kind of blue colour on her for the voyagemade very peculiarly to one side like and it was extremely pretty itgot as dull as the devil after they went I was almost planning to runaway mad out of it somewhere were never easy where we are father oraunt or marriage waiting always waiting to guiiiide him toooo mewaiting nor speeeed his flying feet their damn guns bursting andbooming all over the shop especially the Queens birthday and throwingeverything down in all directions if you didnt open the windows whengeneral Ulysses Grant whoever he was or did supposed to be some greatfellow landed off the ship and old Sprague the consul that was therefrom before the flood dressed up poor man and he in mourning for theson then the same old bugles for reveille in the morning and drumsrolling and the unfortunate poor devils of soldiers walking about withmesstins smelling the place more than the old longbearded jews in theirjellibees and levites assembly and sound clear and gunfire for the mento cross the lines and the warden marching with his keys to lock thegates and the bagpipes and only captain Groves and father talking aboutRorkes drift and Plevna and sir Garnet Wolseley and Gordon at Khartoumlighting their pipes for them everytime they went out drunken old devilwith his grog on the windowsill catch him leaving any of it picking hisnose trying to think of some other dirty story to tell up in a cornerbut he never forgot himself when I was there sending me out of the roomon some blind excuse paying his compliments the Bushmills whiskytalking of course but hed do the same to the next woman that came alongI suppose he died of galloping drink ages ago the days like years not aletter from a living soul except the odd few I posted to myself withbits of paper in them so bored sometimes I could fight with my nailslistening to that old Arab with the one eye and his heass of aninstrument singing his heah heah aheah all my compriment on yourhotchapotch of your heass as bad as now with the hands hanging off melooking out of the window if there was a nice fellow even in theopposite house that medical in Holles street the nurse was after when Iput on my gloves and hat at the window to show I was going out not anotion what I meant arent they thick never understand what you say evenyoud want to print it up on a big poster for them not even if you shakehands twice with the left he didnt recognise me either when I halffrowned at him outside Westland row chapel where does their greatintelligence come in Id like to know grey matter they have it all intheir tail if you ask me those country gougers up in the City Armsintelligence they had a damn sight less than the bulls and cows theywere selling the meat and the coalmans bell that noisy bugger trying toswindle me with the wrong bill he took out of his hat what a pair ofpaws and pots and pans and kettles to mend any broken bottles for apoor man today and no visitors or post ever except his cheques or someadvertisem*nt like that wonderworker they sent him addressed dear Madamonly his letter and the card from Milly this morning see she wrote aletter to him who did I get the last letter from O Mrs Dwenn now whatpossessed her to write from Canada after so many years to know therecipe I had for pisto madrileno Floey Dillon since she wrote to sayshe was married to a very rich architect if Im to believe all I hearwith a villa and eight rooms her father was an awfully nice man he wasnear seventy always goodhumoured well now Miss Tweedy or Miss Gillespietheres the piannyer that was a solid silver coffee service he had tooon the mahogany sideboard then dying so far away I hate people thathave always their poor story to tell everybody has their own troublesthat poor Nancy Blake died a month ago of acute neumonia well I didntknow her so well as all that she was Floeys friend more than mine poorNancy its a bother having to answer he always tells me the wrong thingsand no stops to say like making a speech your sad bereavementsymph̸athy I always make that mistake and new̸phew with 2 double yousin I hope hell write me a longer letter the next time if its a thing hereally likes me O thanks be to the great God I got somebody to give mewhat I badly wanted to put some heart up into me youve no chances atall in this place like you used long ago I wish somebody would write mea loveletter his wasnt much and I told him he could write what he likedyours ever Hugh Boylan in old Madrid stuff silly women believe love issighing I am dying still if he wrote it I suppose thered be some truthin it true or no it fills up your whole day and life always somethingto think about every moment and see it all round you like a new world Icould write the answer in bed to let him imagine me short just a fewwords not those long crossed letters Atty Dillon used to write to thefellow that was something in the four courts that jilted her after outof the ladies letterwriter when I told her to say a few simple words hecould twist how he liked not acting with precipat precipitancy withequal candour the greatest earthly happiness answer to a gentlemansproposal affirmatively my goodness theres nothing else its all veryfine for them but as for being a woman as soon as youre old they mightas well throw you out in the bottom of the ashpit.

Mulveys was the first when I was in bed that morning and Mrs Rubiobrought it in with the coffee she stood there standing when I asked herto hand me and I pointing at them I couldnt think of the word a hairpinto open it with ah horquilla disobliging old thing and it staring herin the face with her switch of false hair on her and vain about herappearance ugly as she was near 80 or a 100 her face a mass of wrinkleswith all her religion domineering because she never could get over theAtlantic fleet coming in half the ships of the world and the Union Jackflying with all her carabineros because 4 drunken English sailors tookall the rock from them and because I didnt run into mass often enoughin Santa Maria to please her with her shawl up on her except when therewas a marriage on with all her miracles of the saints and her blackblessed virgin with the silver dress and the sun dancing 3 times onEaster Sunday morning and when the priest was going by with the bellbringing the vatican to the dying blessing herself for his Majestad anadmirer he signed it I near jumped out of my skin I wanted to pick himup when I saw him following me along the Calle Real in the shop windowthen he tipped me just in passing but I never thought hed write makingan appointment I had it inside my petticoat bodice all day reading itup in every hole and corner while father was up at the drillinstructing to find out by the handwriting or the language of stampssinging I remember shall I wear a white rose and I wanted to put on theold stupid clock to near the time he was the first man kissed me underthe Moorish wall my sweetheart when a boy it never entered my head whatkissing meant till he put his tongue in my mouth his mouth wassweetlike young I put my knee up to him a few times to learn the waywhat did I tell him I was engaged for for fun to the son of a Spanishnobleman named Don Miguel de la Flora and he believed me that I was tobe married to him in 3 years time theres many a true word spoken injest there is a flower that bloometh a few things I told him true aboutmyself just for him to be imagining the Spanish girls he didnt like Isuppose one of them wouldnt have him I got him excited he crushed allthe flowers on my bosom he brought me he couldnt count the pesetas andthe perragordas till I taught him Cappoquin he came from he said on theblack water but it was too short then the day before he left May yes itwas May when the infant king of Spain was born Im always like that inthe spring Id like a new fellow every year up on the tiptop under therockgun near OHaras tower I told him it was struck by lightning and allabout the old Barbary apes they sent to Clapham without a tailcareering all over the show on each others back Mrs Rubio said she wasa regular old rock scorpion robbing the chickens out of Inces farm andthrow stones at you if you went anear he was looking at me I had thatwhite blouse on open in the front to encourage him as much as I couldwithout too openly they were just beginning to be plump I said I wastired we lay over the firtree cove a wild place I suppose it must bethe highest rock in existence the galleries and casemates and thosefrightful rocks and Saint Michaels cave with the icicles or whateverthey call them hanging down and ladders all the mud plotching my bootsIm sure thats the way down the monkeys go under the sea to Africa whenthey die the ships out far like chips that was the Malta boat passingyes the sea and the sky you could do what you liked lie there for everhe caressed them outside they love doing that its the roundness there Iwas leaning over him with my white ricestraw hat to take the newnessout of it the left side of my face the best my blouse open for his lastday transparent kind of shirt he had I could see his chest pink hewanted to touch mine with his for a moment but I wouldnt let him he wasawfully put out first for fear you never know consumption or leave mewith a child embarazada that old servant Ines told me that one dropeven if it got into you at all after I tried with the Banana but I wasafraid it might break and get lost up in me somewhere because they oncetook something down out of a woman that was up there for years coveredwith limesalts theyre all mad to get in there where they come out ofyoud think they could never go far enough up and then theyre done withyou in a way till the next time yes because theres a wonderful feelingthere so tender all the time how did we finish it off yes O yes Ipulled him off into my handkerchief pretending not to be excited but Iopened my legs I wouldnt let him touch me inside my petticoat because Ihad a skirt opening up the side I tormented the life out of him firsttickling him I loved rousing that dog in the hotel rrrssssttawokwokawok his eyes shut and a bird flying below us he was shy all thesame I liked him like that moaning I made him blush a little when I gotover him that way when I unbuttoned him and took his out and drew backthe skin it had a kind of eye in it theyre all Buttons men down themiddle on the wrong side of them Molly darling he called me what washis name Jack Joe Harry Mulvey was it yes I think a lieutenant he wasrather fair he had a laughing kind of a voice so I went round to thewhatyoucallit everything was whatyoucallit moustache had he he said hedcome back Lord its just like yesterday to me and if I was married heddo it to me and I promised him yes faithfully Id let him block me nowflying perhaps hes dead or killed or a captain or admiral its nearly 20years if I said firtree cove he would if he came up behind me and puthis hands over my eyes to guess who I might recognise him hes youngstill about 40 perhaps hes married some girl on the black water and isquite changed they all do they havent half the character a woman hasshe little knows what I did with her beloved husband before he everdreamt of her in broad daylight too in the sight of the whole world youmight say they could have put an article about it in the Chronicle Iwas a bit wild after when I blew out the old bag the biscuits were infrom Benady Bros and exploded it Lord what a bang all the woodco*cks andpigeons screaming coming back the same way that we went over middlehill round by the old guardhouse and the jews burialplace pretending toread out the Hebrew on them I wanted to fire his pistol he said hehadnt one he didnt know what to make of me with his peak cap on that healways wore crooked as often as I settled it straight H M S Calypsoswinging my hat that old Bishop that spoke off the altar his longpreach about womans higher functions about girls now riding the bicycleand wearing peak caps and the new woman bloomers God send him sense andme more money I suppose theyre called after him I never thought thatwould be my name Bloom when I used to write it in print to see how itlooked on a visiting card or practising for the butcher and oblige MBloom youre looking blooming Josie used to say after I married him wellits better than Breen or Briggs does brig or those awful names withbottom in them Mrs Ramsbottom or some other kind of a bottom Mulvey Iwouldnt go mad about either or suppose I divorced him Mrs Boylan mymother whoever she was might have given me a nicer name the Lord knowsafter the lovely one she had Lunita Laredo the fun we had running alongWilliss road to Europa point twisting in and out all round the otherside of Jersey they were shaking and dancing about in my blouse likeMillys little ones now when she runs up the stairs I loved looking downat them I was jumping up at the pepper trees and the white poplarspulling the leaves off and throwing them at him he went to India he wasto write the voyages those men have to make to the ends of the worldand back its the least they might get a squeeze or two at a woman whilethey can going out to be drowned or blown up somewhere I went upWindmill hill to the flats that Sunday morning with captain Rubios thatwas dead spyglass like the sentry had he said hed have one or two fromon board I wore that frock from the B Marche paris and the coralnecklace the straits shining I could see over to Morocco almost the bayof Tangier white and the Atlas mountain with snow on it and the straitslike a river so clear Harry Molly darling I was thinking of him on thesea all the time after at mass when my petticoat began to slip down atthe elevation weeks and weeks I kept the handkerchief under my pillowfor the smell of him there was no decent perfume to be got in thatGibraltar only that cheap peau dEspagne that faded and left a stink onyou more than anything else I wanted to give him a memento he gave methat clumsy Claddagh ring for luck that I gave Gardner going to southAfrica where those Boers killed him with their war and fever but theywere well beaten all the same as if it brought its bad luck with itlike an opal or pearl still it must have been pure 18 carrot goldbecause it was very heavy but what could you get in a place like thatthe sandfrog shower from Africa and that derelict ship that came up tothe harbour Marie the Marie whatyoucallit no he hadnt a moustache thatwas Gardner yes I can see his face cleanshavenFrseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeefrong that train again weeping tone once in thedear deaead days beyondre call close my eyes breath my lips forwardkiss sad look eyes open piano ere oer the world the mists began I hatethat istsbeg comes loves sweet sooooooooooong Ill let that out fullwhen I get in front of the footlights again Kathleen Kearney and herlot of squealers Miss This Miss That Miss Theother lot of sparrowfartsskitting around talking about politics they know as much about as mybackside anything in the world to make themselves someway interestingIrish homemade beauties soldiers daughter am I ay and whose are youbootmakers and publicans I beg your pardon coach I thought you were awheelbarrow theyd die down dead off their feet if ever they got achance of walking down the Alameda on an officers arm like me on thebandnight my eyes flash my bust that they havent passion God help theirpoor head I knew more about men and life when I was 15 than theyll allknow at 50 they dont know how to sing a song like that Gardner said noman could look at my mouth and teeth smiling like that and not think ofit I was afraid he mightnt like my accent first he so English allfather left me in spite of his stamps Ive my mothers eyes and figureanyhow he always said theyre so snotty about themselves some of thosecads he wasnt a bit like that he was dead gone on my lips let them geta husband first thats fit to be looked at and a daughter like mine orsee if they can excite a swell with money that can pick and choosewhoever he wants like Boylan to do it 4 or 5 times locked in eachothers arms or the voice either I could have been a prima donna only Imarried him comes looooves old deep down chin back not too much make itdouble My Ladys Bower is too long for an encore about the moated grangeat twilight and vaunted rooms yes Ill sing Winds that blow from thesouth that he gave after the choirstairs performance Ill change thatlace on my black dress to show off my bubs and Ill yes by God Ill getthat big fan mended make them burst with envy my hole is itching mealways when I think of him I feel I want to I feel some wind in mebetter go easy not wake him have him at it again slobbering afterwashing every bit of myself back belly and sides if we had even a bathitself or my own room anyway I wish hed sleep in some bed by himselfwith his cold feet on me give us room even to let a fart God or do theleast thing better yes hold them like that a bit on my side pianoquietly sweeeee theres that train far away pianissimo eeeee one moresong

that was a relief wherever you be let your wind go free who knows ifthat pork chop I took with my cup of tea after was quite good with theheat I couldnt smell anything off it Im sure that queerlooking man inthe porkbutchers is a great rogue I hope that lamp is not smoking fillmy nose up with smuts better than having him leaving the gas on allnight I couldnt rest easy in my bed in Gibraltar even getting up to seewhy am I so damned nervous about that though I like it in the winterits more company O Lord it was rotten cold too that winter when I wasonly about ten was I yes I had the big doll with all the funny clothesdressing her up and undressing that icy wind skeeting across from thosemountains the something Nevada sierra nevada standing at the fire withthe little bit of a short shift I had up to heat myself I loved dancingabout in it then make a race back into bed Im sure that fellow oppositeused to be there the whole time watching with the lights out in thesummer and I in my skin hopping around I used to love myself thenstripped at the washstand dabbing and creaming only when it came to thechamber performance I put out the light too so then there were 2 of usgoodbye to my sleep for this night anyhow I hope hes not going to getin with those medicals leading him astray to imagine hes young againcoming in at 4 in the morning it must be if not more still he had themanners not to wake me what do they find to gabber about all nightsquandering money and getting drunker and drunker couldnt they drinkwater then he starts giving us his orders for eggs and tea and Findonhaddy and hot buttered toast I suppose well have him sitting up likethe king of the country pumping the wrong end of the spoon up and downin his egg wherever he learned that from and I love to hear him fallingup the stairs of a morning with the cups rattling on the tray and thenplay with the cat she rubs up against you for her own sake I wonder hasshe fleas shes as bad as a woman always licking and lecking but I hatetheir claws I wonder do they see anything that we cant staring likethat when she sits at the top of the stairs so long and listening as Iwait always what a robber too that lovely fresh plaice I bought I thinkIll get a bit of fish tomorrow or today is it Friday yes I will withsome blancmange with black currant jam like long ago not those 2 lbpots of mixed plum and apple from the London and Newcastle Williams andWoods goes twice as far only for the bones I hate those eels cod yesIll get a nice piece of cod Im always getting enough for 3 forgettinganyway Im sick of that everlasting butchers meat from Buckleys loinchops and leg beef and rib steak and scrag of mutton and calfs pluckthe very name is enough or a picnic suppose we all gave 5/- each and orlet him pay it and invite some other woman for him who Mrs Fleming anddrove out to the furry glen or the strawberry beds wed have himexamining all the horses toenails first like he does with the lettersno not with Boylan there yes with some cold veal and ham mixedsandwiches there are little houses down at the bottom of the banksthere on purpose but its as hot as blazes he says not a bank holidayanyhow I hate those ruck of Mary Ann coalboxes out for the day WhitMonday is a cursed day too no wonder that bee bit him better theseaside but Id never again in this life get into a boat with him afterhim at Bray telling the boatman he knew how to row if anyone askedcould he ride the steeplechase for the gold cup hed say yes then itcame on to get rough the old thing crookeding about and the weight alldown my side telling me pull the right reins now pull the left and thetide all swamping in floods in through the bottom and his oar slippingout of the stirrup its a mercy we werent all drowned he can swim ofcourse me no theres no danger whatsoever keep yourself calm in hisflannel trousers Id like to have tattered them down off him before allthe people and give him what that one calls flagellate till he wasblack and blue do him all the good in the world only for that longnosedchap I dont know who he is with that other beauty Burke out of the CityArms hotel was there spying around as usual on the slip always where hewasnt wanted if there was a row on youd vomit a better face there wasno love lost between us thats 1 consolation I wonder what kind is thatbook he brought me Sweets of Sin by a gentleman of fashion some otherMr de Kock I suppose the people gave him that nickname going about withhis tube from one woman to another I couldnt even change my new whiteshoes all ruined with the saltwater and the hat I had with that featherall blowy and tossed on me how annoying and provoking because the smellof the sea excited me of course the sardines and the bream in Catalanbay round the back of the rock they were fine all silver in thefishermens baskets old Luigi near a hundred they said came from Genoaand the tall old chap with the earrings I dont like a man you have toclimb up to to get at I suppose theyre all dead and rotten long agobesides I dont like being alone in this big barracks of a place atnight I suppose Ill have to put up with it I never brought a bit ofsalt in even when we moved in the confusion musical academy he wasgoing to make on the first floor drawingroom with a brassplate orBlooms private hotel he suggested go and ruin himself altogether theway his father did down in Ennis like all the things he told father hewas going to do and me but I saw through him telling me all the lovelyplaces we could go for the honeymoon Venice by moonlight with thegondolas and the lake of Como he had a picture cut out of some paper ofand mandolines and lanterns O how nice I said whatever I liked he wasgoing to do immediately if not sooner will you be my man will you carrymy can he ought to get a leather medal with a putty rim for all theplans he invents then leaving us here all day youd never know what oldbeggar at the door for a crust with his long story might be a tramp andput his foot in the way to prevent me shutting it like that picture ofthat hardened criminal he was called in Lloyds Weekly news 20 years injail then he comes out and murders an old woman for her money imaginehis poor wife or mother or whoever she is such a face youd run milesaway from I couldnt rest easy till I bolted all the doors and windowsto make sure but its worse again being locked up like in a prison or amadhouse they ought to be all shot or the cat of nine tails a big brutelike that that would attack a poor old woman to murder her in her bedId cut them off him so I would not that hed be much use still betterthan nothing the night I was sure I heard burglars in the kitchen andhe went down in his shirt with a candle and a poker as if he waslooking for a mouse as white as a sheet frightened out of his witsmaking as much noise as he possibly could for the burglars benefitthere isnt much to steal indeed the Lord knows still its the feelingespecially now with Milly away such an idea for him to send the girldown there to learn to take photographs on account of his grandfatherinstead of sending her to Skerrys academy where shed have to learn notlike me getting all at school only hed do a thing like that all thesame on account of me and Boylan thats why he did it Im certain the wayhe plots and plans everything out I couldnt turn round with her in theplace lately unless I bolted the door first gave me the fidgets comingin without knocking first when I put the chair against the door just asI was washing myself there below with the glove get on your nerves thendoing the loglady all day put her in a glasscase with two at a time tolook at her if he knew she broke off the hand off that little gimcrackstatue with her roughness and carelessness before she left that I gotthat little Italian boy to mend so that you cant see the join for 2shillings wouldnt even teem the potatoes for you of course shes rightnot to ruin her hands I noticed he was always talking to her lately atthe table explaining things in the paper and she pretending tounderstand sly of course that comes from his side of the house he cantsay I pretend things can he Im too honest as a matter of fact andhelping her into her coat but if there was anything wrong with her itsme shed tell not him I suppose he thinks Im finished out and laid onthe shelf well Im not no nor anything like it well see well see nowshes well on for flirting too with Tom Devans two sons imitating mewhistling with those romps of Murray girls calling for her can Millycome out please shes in great demand to pick what they can out of herround in Nelson street riding Harry Devans bicycle at night its as wellhe sent her where she is she was just getting out of bounds wanting togo on the skatingrink and smoking their cigarettes through their nose Ismelt it off her dress when I was biting off the thread of the button Isewed on to the bottom of her jacket she couldnt hide much from me Itell you only I oughtnt to have stitched it and it on her it brings aparting and the last plumpudding too split in 2 halves see it comes outno matter what they say her tongue is a bit too long for my taste yourblouse is open too low she says to me the pan calling the kettleblackbottom and I had to tell her not to co*ck her legs up like that onshow on the windowsill before all the people passing they all look ather like me when I was her age of course any old rag looks well on youthen a great touchmenot too in her own way at the Only Way in theTheatre royal take your foot away out of that I hate people touching meafraid of her life Id crush her skirt with the pleats a lot of thattouching must go on in theatres in the crush in the dark theyre alwaystrying to wiggle up to you that fellow in the pit at the Gaiety forBeerbohm Tree in Trilby the last time Ill ever go there to be squashedlike that for any Trilby or her barebum every two minutes tipping methere and looking away hes a bit daft I think I saw him after trying toget near two stylishdressed ladies outside Switzers window at the samelittle game I recognised him on the moment the face and everything buthe didnt remember me yes and she didnt even want me to kiss her at theBroadstone going away well I hope shell get someone to dance attendanceon her the way I did when she was down with the mumps and her glandsswollen wheres this and wheres that of course she cant feel anythingdeep yet I never came properly till I was what 22 or so it went intothe wrong place always only the usual girls nonsense and giggling thatConny Connolly writing to her in white ink on black paper sealed withsealingwax though she clapped when the curtain came down because helooked so handsome then we had Martin Harvey for breakfast dinner andsupper I thought to myself afterwards it must be real love if a mangives up his life for her that way for nothing I suppose there are afew men like that left its hard to believe in it though unless itreally happened to me the majority of them with not a particle of lovein their natures to find two people like that nowadays full up of eachother that would feel the same way as you do theyre usually a bitfoolish in the head his father must have been a bit queer to go andpoison himself after her still poor old man I suppose he felt lost shesalways making love to my things too the few old rags I have wanting toput her hair up at 15 my powder too only ruin her skin on her shes timeenough for that all her life after of course shes restless knowing shespretty with her lips so red a pity they wont stay that way I was toobut theres no use going to the fair with the thing answering me like afishwoman when I asked to go for a half a stone of potatoes the day wemet Mrs Joe Gallaher at the trottingmatches and she pretended not tosee us in her trap with Friery the solicitor we werent grand enoughtill I gave her 2 damn fine cracks across the ear for herself take thatnow for answering me like that and that for your impudence she had methat exasperated of course contradicting I was badtempered too becausehow was it there was a weed in the tea or I didnt sleep the nightbefore cheese I ate was it and I told her over and over again not toleave knives crossed like that because she has nobody to command her asshe said herself well if he doesnt correct her faith I will that wasthe last time she turned on the teartap I was just like that myselfthey darent order me about the place its his fault of course having thetwo of us slaving here instead of getting in a woman long ago am I evergoing to have a proper servant again of course then shed see him comingId have to let her know or shed revenge it arent they a nuisance thatold Mrs Fleming you have to be walking round after her putting thethings into her hands sneezing and farting into the pots well of courseshes old she cant help it a good job I found that rotten old smellydishcloth that got lost behind the dresser I knew there was somethingand opened the area window to let out the smell bringing in his friendsto entertain them like the night he walked home with a dog if youplease that might have been mad especially Simon Dedalus son his fathersuch a criticiser with his glasses up with his tall hat on him at thecricket match and a great big hole in his sock one thing laughing atthe other and his son that got all those prizes for whatever he wonthem in the intermediate imagine climbing over the railings if anybodysaw him that knew us I wonder he didnt tear a big hole in his grandfuneral trousers as if the one nature gave wasnt enough for anybodyhawking him down into the dirty old kitchen now is he right in his headI ask pity it wasnt washing day my old pair of drawers might have beenhanging up too on the line on exhibition for all hed ever care with theironmould mark the stupid old bundle burned on them he might think wassomething else and she never even rendered down the fat I told her andnow shes going such as she was on account of her paralysed husbandgetting worse theres always something wrong with them disease or theyhave to go under an operation or if its not that its drink and he beatsher Ill have to hunt around again for someone every day I get up theressome new thing on sweet God sweet God well when Im stretched out deadin my grave I suppose Ill have some peace I want to get up a minute ifIm let wait O Jesus wait yes that thing has come on me yes now wouldntthat afflict you of course all the poking and rooting and ploughing hehad up in me now what am I to do Friday Saturday Sunday wouldnt thatpester the soul out of a body unless he likes it some men do God knowstheres always something wrong with us 5 days every 3 or 4 weeks usualmonthly auction isnt it simply sickening that night it came on me likethat the one and only time we were in a box that Michael Gunn gave himto see Mrs Kendal and her husband at the Gaiety something he did aboutinsurance for him in Drimmies I was fit to be tied though I wouldntgive in with that gentleman of fashion staring down at me with hisglasses and him the other side of me talking about Spinoza and his soulthats dead I suppose millions of years ago I smiled the best I couldall in a swamp leaning forward as if I was interested having to sit itout then to the last tag I wont forget that wife of Scarli in a hurrysupposed to be a fast play about adultery that idiot in the galleryhissing the woman adulteress he shouted I suppose he went and had awoman in the next lane running round all the back ways after to make upfor it I wish he had what I had then hed boo I bet the cat itself isbetter off than us have we too much blood up in us or what O patienceabove its pouring out of me like the sea anyhow he didnt make mepregnant as big as he is I dont want to ruin the clean sheets I justput on I suppose the clean linen I wore brought it on too damn it damnit and they always want to see a stain on the bed to know youre avirgin for them all thats troubling them theyre such fools too youcould be a widow or divorced 40 times over a daub of red ink would door blackberry juice no thats too purply O Jamesy let me up out of thispooh sweets of sin whoever suggested that business for women whatbetween clothes and cooking and children this damned old bed toojingling like the dickens I suppose they could hear us away over theother side of the park till I suggested to put the quilt on the floorwith the pillow under my bottom I wonder is it nicer in the day I thinkit is easy I think Ill cut all this hair off me there scalding me Imight look like a young girl wouldnt he get the great suckin the nexttime he turned up my clothes on me Id give anything to see his facewheres the chamber gone easy Ive a holy horror of its breaking under meafter that old commode I wonder was I too heavy sitting on his knee Imade him sit on the easychair purposely when I took off only my blouseand skirt first in the other room he was so busy where he oughtnt to behe never felt me I hope my breath was sweet after those kissing comfitseasy God I remember one time I could scout it out straight whistlinglike a man almost easy O Lord how noisy I hope theyre bubbles on it fora wad of money from some fellow Ill have to perfume it in the morningdont forget I bet he never saw a better pair of thighs than that lookhow white they are the smoothest place is right there between this bithere how soft like a peach easy God I wouldnt mind being a man and getup on a lovely woman O Lord what a row youre making like the jerseylily easy easy O how the waters come down at Lahore

who knows is there anything the matter with my insides or have Isomething growing in me getting that thing like that every week whenwas it last I Whit Monday yes its only about 3 weeks I ought to go tothe doctor only it would be like before I married him when I had thatwhite thing coming from me and Floey made me go to that dry old stickDr Collins for womens diseases on Pembroke road your vagin* he calledit I suppose thats how he got all the gilt mirrors and carpets gettinground those rich ones off Stephens green running up to him for everylittle fiddlefaddle her vagin* and her cochinchina theyve money ofcourse so theyre all right I wouldnt marry him not if he was the lastman in the world besides theres something queer about their childrenalways smelling around those filthy bitches all sides asking me if whatI did had an offensive odour what did he want me to do but the onething gold maybe what a question if I smathered it all over his wrinklyold face for him with all my compriments I suppose hed know then andcould you pass it easily pass what I thought he was talking about therock of Gibraltar the way he put it thats a very nice invention too bythe way only I like letting myself down after in the hole as far as Ican squeeze and pull the chain then to flush it nice cool pins andneedles still theres something in it I suppose I always used to know byMillys when she was a child whether she had worms or not still all thesame paying him for that how much is that doctor one guinea please andasking me had I frequent omissions where do those old fellows get allthe words they have omissions with his shortsighted eyes on me co*ckedsideways I wouldnt trust him too far to give me chloroform or God knowswhat else still I liked him when he sat down to write the thing outfrowning so severe his nose intelligent like that you be damned youlying strap O anything no matter who except an idiot he was cleverenough to spot that of course that was all thinking of him and his madcrazy letters my Precious one everything connected with your gloriousBody everything underlined that comes from it is a thing of beauty andof joy for ever something he got out of some nonsensical book that hehad me always at myself 4 and 5 times a day sometimes and I said Ihadnt are you sure O yes I said I am quite sure in a way that shut himup I knew what was coming next only natural weakness it was he excitedme I dont know how the first night ever we met when I was living inRehoboth terrace we stood staring at one another for about 10 minutesas if we met somewhere I suppose on account of my being jewess lookingafter my mother he used to amuse me the things he said with the halfsloothering smile on him and all the Doyles said he was going to standfor a member of Parliament O wasnt I the born fool to believe all hisblather about home rule and the land league sending me that long stroolof a song out of the Huguenots to sing in French to be more classy Obeau pays de la Touraine that I never even sang once explaining andrigmaroling about religion and persecution he wont let you enjoyanything naturally then might he as a great favour the very 1stopportunity he got a chance in Brighton square running into my bedroompretending the ink got on his hands to wash it off with the Albion milkand sulphur soap I used to use and the gelatine still round it O Ilaughed myself sick at him that day I better not make an alnightsitting on this affair they ought to make chambers a natural size sothat a woman could sit on it properly he kneels down to do it I supposethere isnt in all creation another man with the habits he has look atthe way hes sleeping at the foot of the bed how can he without a hardbolster its well he doesnt kick or he might knock out all my teethbreathing with his hand on his nose like that Indian god he took me toshow one wet Sunday in the museum in Kildare street all yellow in apinafore lying on his side on his hand with his ten toes sticking outthat he said was a bigger religion than the jews and Our Lords both puttogether all over Asia imitating him as hes always imitating everybodyI suppose he used to sleep at the foot of the bed too with his bigsquare feet up in his wifes mouth damn this stinking thing anywaywheres this those napkins are ah yes I know I hope the old press doesntcreak ah I knew it would hes sleeping hard had a good time somewherestill she must have given him great value for his money of course hehas to pay for it from her O this nuisance of a thing I hope theyllhave something better for us in the other world tying ourselves up Godhelp us thats all right for tonight now the lumpy old jingly bed alwaysreminds me of old Cohen I suppose he scratched himself in it oftenenough and he thinks father bought it from Lord Napier that I used toadmire when I was a little girl because I told him easy piano O I likemy bed God here we are as bad as ever after 16 years how many houseswere we in at all Raymond terrace and Ontario terrace and Lombardstreet and Holles street and he goes about whistling every time were onthe run again his huguenots or the frogs march pretending to help themen with our 4 sticks of furniture and then the City Arms hotel worseand worse says Warden Daly that charming place on the landing alwayssomebody inside praying then leaving all their stinks after them alwaysknow who was in there last every time were just getting on rightsomething happens or he puts his big foot in it Thoms and Helys and MrCuffes and Drimmies either hes going to be run into prison over his oldlottery tickets that was to be all our salvations or he goes and givesimpudence well have him coming home with the sack soon out of theFreeman too like the rest on account of those Sinner Fein or thefreemasons then well see if the little man he showed me dribbling alongin the wet all by himself round by Coadys lane will give him muchconsolation that he says is so capable and sincerely Irish he is indeedjudging by the sincerity of the trousers I saw on him wait theresGeorges church bells wait 3 quarters the hour wait two oclock wellthats a nice hour of the night for him to be coming home at to anybodyclimbing down into the area if anybody saw him Ill knock him off thatlittle habit tomorrow first Ill look at his shirt to see or Ill see ifhe has that French letter still in his pocketbook I suppose he thinks Idont know deceitful men all their 20 pockets arent enough for theirlies then why should we tell them even if its the truth they dontbelieve you then tucked up in bed like those babies in the AristocratsMasterpiece he brought me another time as if we hadnt enough of that inreal life without some old Aristocrat or whatever his name isdisgusting you more with those rotten pictures children with two headsand no legs thats the kind of villainy theyre always dreaming aboutwith not another thing in their empty heads they ought to get slowpoison the half of them then tea and toast for him buttered on bothsides and newlaid eggs I suppose Im nothing any more when I wouldnt lethim lick me in Holles street one night man man tyrant as ever for theone thing he slept on the floor half the night naked the way the jewsused when somebody dies belonged to them and wouldnt eat any breakfastor speak a word wanting to be petted so I thought I stood out enoughfor one time and let him he does it all wrong too thinking only of hisown pleasure his tongue is too flat or I dont know what he forgets thatwethen I dont Ill make him do it again if he doesnt mind himself andlock him down to sleep in the coalcellar with the blackbeetles I wonderwas it her Josie off her head with my castoffs hes such a born liar toono hed never have the courage with a married woman thats why he wantsme and Boylan though as for her Denis as she calls him thatforlornlooking spectacle you couldnt call him a husband yes its somelittle bitch hes got in with even when I was with him with Milly at theCollege races that Hornblower with the childs bonnet on the top of hisnob let us into by the back way he was throwing his sheeps eyes atthose two doing skirt duty up and down I tried to wink at him first nouse of course and thats the way his money goes this is the fruits of MrPaddy Dignam yes they were all in great style at the grand funeral inthe paper Boylan brought in if they saw a real officers funeral thatdbe something reversed arms muffled drums the poor horse walking behindin black L Boom and Tom Kernan that drunken little barrelly man thatbit his tongue off falling down the mens W C drunk in some place orother and Martin Cunningham and the two Dedaluses and Fanny MCoyshusband white head of cabbage skinny thing with a turn in her eyetrying to sing my songs shed want to be born all over again and her oldgreen dress with the lowneck as she cant attract them any other waylike dabbling on a rainy day I see it all now plainly and they callthat friendship killing and then burying one another and they all withtheir wives and families at home more especially Jack Power keepingthat barmaid he does of course his wife is always sick or going to besick or just getting better of it and hes a goodlooking man stillthough hes getting a bit grey over the ears theyre a nice lot all ofthem well theyre not going to get my husband again into their clutchesif I can help it making fun of him then behind his back I know wellwhen he goes on with his idiotics because he has sense enough not tosquander every penny piece he earns down their gullets and looks afterhis wife and family goodfornothings poor Paddy Dignam all the same Imsorry in a way for him what are his wife and 5 children going to dounless he was insured comical little teetotum always stuck up in somepub corner and her or her son waiting Bill Bailey wont you please comehome her widows weeds wont improve her appearance theyre awfullybecoming though if youre goodlooking what men wasnt he yes he was atthe Glencree dinner and Ben Dollard base barreltone the night heborrowed the swallowtail to sing out of in Holles street squeezed andsquashed into them and grinning all over his big Dolly face like awellwhipped childs botty didnt he look a balmy ballocks sure enoughthat must have been a spectacle on the stage imagine paying 5/- in thepreserved seats for that to see him trotting off in his trowlers andSimon Dedalus too he was always turning up half screwed singing thesecond verse first the old love is the new was one of his so sweetlysang the maiden on the hawthorn bough he was always on for flirtyfyingtoo when I sang Maritana with him at Freddy Mayers private opera he hada delicious glorious voice Phoebe dearest goodbye sweetheart_sweet_heart he always sang it not like Bartell DArcy sweet _tart_goodbye of course he had the gift of the voice so there was no art init all over you like a warm showerbath O Maritana wildwood flower wesang splendidly though it was a bit too high for my register eventransposed and he was married at the time to May Goulding but then hedsay or do something to knock the good out of it hes a widower now Iwonder what sort is his son he says hes an author and going to be auniversity professor of Italian and Im to take lessons what is hedriving at now showing him my photo its not good of me I ought to havegot it taken in drapery that never looks out of fashion still I lookyoung in it I wonder he didnt make him a present of it altogether andme too after all why not I saw him driving down to the Kingsbridgestation with his father and mother I was in mourning thats 11 years agonow yes hed be 11 though what was the good in going into mourning forwhat was neither one thing nor the other the first cry was enough forme I heard the deathwatch too ticking in the wall of course he insistedhed go into mourning for the cat I suppose hes a man now by this timehe was an innocent boy then and a darling little fellow in his lordFauntleroy suit and curly hair like a prince on the stage when I sawhim at Mat Dillons he liked me too I remember they all do wait by Godyes wait yes hold on he was on the cards this morning when I laid outthe deck union with a young stranger neither dark nor fair you metbefore I thought it meant him but hes no chicken nor a stranger eitherbesides my face was turned the other way what was the 7th card afterthat the 10 of spades for a journey by land then there was a letter onits way and scandals too the 3 queens and the 8 of diamonds for a risein society yes wait it all came out and 2 red 8s for new garments lookat that and didnt I dream something too yes there was something aboutpoetry in it I hope he hasnt long greasy hair hanging into his eyes orstanding up like a red Indian what do they go about like that for onlygetting themselves and their poetry laughed at I always liked poetrywhen I was a girl first I thought he was a poet like lord Byron and notan ounce of it in his composition I thought he was quite different Iwonder is he too young hes about wait 88 I was married 88 Milly is 15yesterday 89 what age was he then at Dillons 5 or 6 about 88 I supposehes 20 or more Im not too old for him if hes 23 or 24 I hope hes notthat stuckup university student sort no otherwise he wouldnt go sittingdown in the old kitchen with him taking Eppss cocoa and talking ofcourse he pretended to understand it all probably he told him he wasout of Trinity college hes very young to be a professor I hope hes nota professor like Goodwin was he was a potent professor of John Jamesonthey all write about some woman in their poetry well I suppose he wontfind many like me where softly sighs of love the light guitar wherepoetry is in the air the blue sea and the moon shining so beautifullycoming back on the nightboat from Tarifa the lighthouse at Europa pointthe guitar that fellow played was so expressive will I ever go backthere again all new faces two glancing eyes a lattice hid Ill sing thatfor him theyre my eyes if hes anything of a poet two eyes as darklybright as loves own star arent those beautiful words as loves youngstar itll be a change the Lord knows to have an intelligent person totalk to about yourself not always listening to him and Billy Prescottsad and Keyess ad and Tom the Devils ad then if anything goes wrong intheir business we have to suffer Im sure hes very distinguished Id liketo meet a man like that God not those other ruck besides hes youngthose fine young men I could see down in Margate strand bathingplacefrom the side of the rock standing up in the sun naked like a God orsomething and then plunging into the sea with them why arent all menlike that thered be some consolation for a woman like that lovelylittle statue he bought I could look at him all day long curly head andhis shoulders his finger up for you to listen theres real beauty andpoetry for you I often felt I wanted to kiss him all over also hislovely young co*ck there so simple I wouldnt mind taking him in my mouthif nobody was looking as if it was asking you to suck it so clean andwhite he looks with his boyish face I would too in 1/2 a minute even ifsome of it went down what its only like gruel or the dew theres nodanger besides hed be so clean compared with those pigs of men Isuppose never dream of washing it from 1 years end to the other themost of them only thats what gives the women the moustaches Im sureitll be grand if I can only get in with a handsome young poet at my ageIll throw them the 1st thing in the morning till I see if the wishcardcomes out or Ill try pairing the lady herself and see if he comes outIll read and study all I can find or learn a bit off by heart if I knewwho he likes so he wont think me stupid if he thinks all women are thesame and I can teach him the other part Ill make him feel all over himtill he half faints under me then hell write about me lover andmistress publicly too with our 2 photographs in all the papers when hebecomes famous O but then what am I going to do about him though

no thats no way for him has he no manners nor no refinement nor nonothing in his nature slapping us behind like that on my bottom becauseI didnt call him Hugh the ignoramus that doesnt know poetry from acabbage thats what you get for not keeping them in their proper placepulling off his shoes and trousers there on the chair before me sobarefaced without even asking permission and standing out that vulgarway in the half of a shirt they wear to be admired like a priest or abutcher or those old hypocrites in the time of Julius Caesar of coursehes right enough in his way to pass the time as a joke sure you mightas well be in bed with what with a lion God Im sure hed have somethingbetter to say for himself an old Lion would O well I suppose itsbecause they were so plump and tempting in my short petticoat hecouldnt resist they excite myself sometimes its well for men all theamount of pleasure they get off a womans body were so round and whitefor them always I wished I was one myself for a change just to try withthat thing they have swelling up on you so hard and at the same time sosoft when you touch it my uncle John has a thing long I heard thosecornerboys saying passing the comer of Marrowbone lane my aunt Mary hasa thing hairy because it was dark and they knew a girl was passing itdidnt make me blush why should it either its only nature and he putshis thing long into my aunt Marys hairy etcetera and turns out to beyou put the handle in a sweepingbrush men again all over they can pickand choose what they please a married woman or a fast widow or a girlfor their different tastes like those houses round behind Irish streetno but were to be always chained up theyre not going to be chaining meup no damn fear once I start I tell you for their stupid husbandsjealousy why cant we all remain friends over it instead of quarrellingher husband found it out what they did together well naturally and ifhe did can he undo it hes coronado anyway whatever he does and then hegoing to the other mad extreme about the wife in Fair Tyrants of coursethe man never even casts a 2nd thought on the husband or wife eitherits the woman he wants and he gets her what else were we given allthose desires for Id like to know I cant help it if Im young still canI its a wonder Im not an old shrivelled hag before my time living withhim so cold never embracing me except sometimes when hes asleep thewrong end of me not knowing I suppose who he has any man thatd kiss awomans bottom Id throw my hat at him after that hed kiss anythingunnatural where we havent 1 atom of any kind of expression in us all ofus the same 2 lumps of lard before ever Id do that to a man pfooh thedirty brutes the mere thought is enough I kiss the feet of you senoritatheres some sense in that didnt he kiss our halldoor yes he did what amadman nobody understands his cracked ideas but me still of course awoman wants to be embraced 20 times a day almost to make her look youngno matter by who so long as to be in love or loved by somebody if thefellow you want isnt there sometimes by the Lord God I was thinkingwould I go around by the quays there some dark evening where nobodydknow me and pick up a sailor off the sea thatd be hot on for it and notcare a pin whose I was only do it off up in a gate somewhere or one ofthose wildlooking gipsies in Rathfarnham had their camp pitched nearthe Bloomfield laundry to try and steal our things if they could I onlysent mine there a few times for the name model laundry sending me backover and over some old ones odd stockings that blackguardlooking fellowwith the fine eyes peeling a switch attack me in the dark and ride meup against the wall without a word or a murderer anybody what they dothemselves the fine gentlemen in their silk hats that K C lives upsomewhere this way coming out of Hardwicke lane the night he gave usthe fish supper on account of winning over the boxing match of courseit was for me he gave it I knew him by his gaiters and the walk andwhen I turned round a minute after just to see there was a woman aftercoming out of it too some filthy prostitute then he goes home to hiswife after that only I suppose the half of those sailors are rottenagain with disease O move over your big carcass out of that for thelove of Mike listen to him the winds that waft my sighs to thee so wellhe may sleep and sigh the great Suggester Don Poldo de la Flora if heknew how he came out on the cards this morning hed have something tosigh for a dark man in some perplexity between 2 7s too in prison forLord knows what he does that I dont know and Im to be slooching arounddown in the kitchen to get his lordship his breakfast while hes rolledup like a mummy will I indeed did you ever see me running Id just liketo see myself at it show them attention and they treat you like dirt Idont care what anybody says itd be much better for the world to begoverned by the women in it you wouldnt see women going and killing oneanother and slaughtering when do you ever see women rolling arounddrunk like they do or gambling every penny they have and losing it onhorses yes because a woman whatever she does she knows where to stopsure they wouldnt be in the world at all only for us they dont knowwhat it is to be a woman and a mother how could they where would theyall of them be if they hadnt all a mother to look after them what Inever had thats why I suppose hes running wild now out at night awayfrom his books and studies and not living at home on account of theusual rowy house I suppose well its a poor case that those that have afine son like that theyre not satisfied and I none was he not able tomake one it wasnt my fault we came together when I was watching the twodogs up in her behind in the middle of the naked street thatdisheartened me altogether I suppose I oughtnt to have buried him inthat little woolly jacket I knitted crying as I was but give it to somepoor child but I knew well Id never have another our 1st death too itwas we were never the same since O Im not going to think myself intothe glooms about that any more I wonder why he wouldnt stay the night Ifelt all the time it was somebody strange he brought in instead ofroving around the city meeting God knows who nightwalkers andpickpockets his poor mother wouldnt like that if she was alive ruininghimself for life perhaps still its a lovely hour so silent I used tolove coming home after dances the air of the night they have friendsthey can talk to weve none either he wants what he wont get or its somewoman ready to stick her knife in you I hate that in women no wonderthey treat us the way they do we are a dreadful lot of bitches Isuppose its all the troubles we have makes us so snappy Im not likethat he could easy have slept in there on the sofa in the other room Isuppose he was as shy as a boy he being so young hardly 20 of me in thenext room hed have heard me on the chamber arrah what harm Dedalus Iwonder its like those names in Gibraltar Delapaz Delagracia they hadthe devils queer names there father Vilaplana of Santa Maria that gaveme the rosary Rosales y OReilly in the Calle las Siete Revueltas andPisimbo and Mrs Opisso in Governor street O what a name Id go and drownmyself in the first river if I had a name like her O my and all thebits of streets Paradise ramp and Bedlam ramp and Rodgers ramp andCrutchetts ramp and the devils gap steps well small blame to me if I ama harumscarum I know I am a bit I declare to God I dont feel a dayolder than then I wonder could I get my tongue round any of the Spanishcomo esta usted muy bien gracias y usted see I havent forgotten it allI thought I had only for the grammar a noun is the name of any personplace or thing pity I never tried to read that novel cantankerous MrsRubio lent me by Valera with the questions in it all upside down thetwo ways I always knew wed go away in the end I can tell him theSpanish and he tell me the Italian then hell see Im not so ignorantwhat a pity he didnt stay Im sure the poor fellow was dead tired andwanted a good sleep badly I could have brought him in his breakfast inbed with a bit of toast so long as I didnt do it on the knife for badluck or if the woman was going her rounds with the watercress andsomething nice and tasty there are a few olives in the kitchen he mightlike I never could bear the look of them in Abrines I could do thecriada the room looks all right since I changed it the other way yousee something was telling me all the time Id have to introduce myselfnot knowing me from Adam very funny wouldnt it Im his wife or pretendwe were in Spain with him half awake without a Gods notion where he isdos huevos estrellados senor Lord the cracked things come into my headsometimes itd be great fun supposing he stayed with us why not theresthe room upstairs empty and Millys bed in the back room he could do hiswriting and studies at the table in there for all the scribbling hedoes at it and if he wants to read in bed in the morning like me as hesmaking the breakfast for 1 he can make it for 2 Im sure Im not going totake in lodgers off the street for him if he takes a gesabo of a houselike this Id love to have a long talk with an intelligent welleducatedperson Id have to get a nice pair of red slippers like those Turks withthe fez used to sell or yellow and a nice semitransparent morning gownthat I badly want or a peachblossom dressing jacket like the one longago in Walpoles only 8/6 or 18/6 Ill just give him one more chance Illget up early in the morning Im sick of Cohens old bed in any case Imight go over to the markets to see all the vegetables and cabbages andtomatoes and carrots and all kinds of splendid fruits all coming inlovely and fresh who knows whod be the 1st man Id meet theyre outlooking for it in the morning Mamy Dillon used to say they are and thenight too that was her massgoing Id love a big juicy pear now to meltin your mouth like when I used to be in the longing way then Ill throwhim up his eggs and tea in the moustachecup she gave him to make hismouth bigger I suppose hed like my nice cream too I know what Ill doIll go about rather gay not too much singing a bit now and then mi fapieta Masetto then Ill start dressing myself to go out presto non sonpiu forte Ill put on my best shift and drawers let him have a goodeyeful out of that to make his micky stand for him Ill let him know ifthats what he wanted that his wife is f*cked yes and damn well f*ckedtoo up to my neck nearly not by him 5 or 6 times handrunning theres themark of his spunk on the clean sheet I wouldnt bother to even iron itout that ought to satisfy him if you dont believe me feel my bellyunless I made him stand there and put him into me Ive a mind to tellhim every scrap and make him do it out in front of me serve him rightit* all his own fault if I am an adulteress as the thing in the gallerysaid O much about it if thats all the harm ever we did in this vale oftears God knows its not much doesnt everybody only they hide it Isuppose thats what a woman is supposed to be there for or He wouldnthave made us the way He did so attractive to men then if he wants tokiss my bottom Ill drag open my drawers and bulge it right out in hisface as large as life he can stick his tongue 7 miles up my hole as hesthere my brown part then Ill tell him I want £ 1 or perhaps 30/- Illtell him I want to buy underclothes then if he gives me that well hewont be too bad I dont want to soak it all out of him like other womendo I could often have written out a fine cheque for myself and writehis name on it for a couple of pounds a few times he forgot to lock itup besides he wont spend it Ill let him do it off on me behind providedhe doesnt smear all my good drawers O I suppose that cant be helped Illdo the indifferent 1 or 2 questions Ill know by the answers when heslike that he cant keep a thing back I know every turn in him Illtighten my bottom well and let out a few smutty words smellrump or lickmy sh*t or the first mad thing comes into my head then Ill suggestabout yes O wait now sonny my turn is coming Ill be quite gay andfriendly over it O but I was forgetting this bloody pest of a thingpfooh you wouldnt know which to laugh or cry were such a mixture ofplum and apple no Ill have to wear the old things so much the betteritll be more pointed hell never know whether he did it or not therethats good enough for you any old thing at all then Ill wipe him off mejust like a business his omission then Ill go out Ill have him eying upat the ceiling where is she gone now make him want me thats the onlyway a quarter after what an unearthly hour I suppose theyre justgetting up in China now combing out their pigtails for the day wellsoon have the nuns ringing the angelus theyve nobody coming in to spoiltheir sleep except an odd priest or two for his night office or thealarmclock next door at co*ckshout clattering the brains out of itselflet me see if I can doze off 1 2 3 4 5 what kind of flowers are thosethey invented like the stars the wallpaper in Lombard street was muchnicer the apron he gave me was like that something only I only wore ittwice better lower this lamp and try again so as I can get up early Illgo to Lambes there beside Findlaters and get them to send us someflowers to put about the place in case he brings him home tomorrowtoday I mean no no Fridays an unlucky day first I want to do the placeup someway the dust grows in it I think while Im asleep then we canhave music and cigarettes I can accompany him first I must clean thekeys of the piano with milk whatll I wear shall I wear a white rose orthose fairy cakes in Liptons I love the smell of a rich big shop at 71/2d a lb or the other ones with the cherries in them and the pinkysugar 11d a couple of lbs of those a nice plant for the middle of thetable Id get that cheaper in wait wheres this I saw them not long ago Ilove flowers Id love to have the whole place swimming in roses God ofheaven theres nothing like nature the wild mountains then the sea andthe waves rushing then the beautiful country with the fields of oatsand wheat and all kinds of things and all the fine cattle going aboutthat would do your heart good to see rivers and lakes and flowers allsorts of shapes and smells and colours springing up even out of theditches primroses and violets nature it is as for them saying theres noGod I wouldnt give a snap of my two fingers for all their learning whydont they go and create something I often asked him atheists orwhatever they call themselves go and wash the cobbles off themselvesfirst then they go howling for the priest and they dying and why whybecause theyre afraid of hell on account of their bad conscience ah yesI know them well who was the first person in the universe before therewas anybody that made it all who ah that they dont know neither do I sothere you are they might as well try to stop the sun from risingtomorrow the sun shines for you he said the day we were lying among therhododendrons on Howth head in the grey tweed suit and his straw hatthe day I got him to propose to me yes first I gave him the bit ofseedcake out of my mouth and it was leapyear like now yes 16 years agomy God after that long kiss I near lost my breath yes he said I was aflower of the mountain yes so we are flowers all a womans body yes thatwas one true thing he said in his life and the sun shines for you todayyes that was why I liked him because I saw he understood or felt what awoman is and I knew I could always get round him and I gave him all thepleasure I could leading him on till he asked me to say yes and Iwouldnt answer first only looked out over the sea and the sky I wasthinking of so many things he didnt know of Mulvey and Mr Stanhope andHester and father and old captain Groves and the sailors playing allbirds fly and I say stoop and washing up dishes they called it on thepier and the sentry in front of the governors house with the thinground his white helmet poor devil half roasted and the Spanish girlslaughing in their shawls and their tall combs and the auctions in themorning the Greeks and the jews and the Arabs and the devil knows whoelse from all the ends of Europe and Duke street and the fowl marketall clucking outside Larby Sharons and the poor donkeys slipping halfasleep and the vague fellows in the cloaks asleep in the shade on thesteps and the big wheels of the carts of the bulls and the old castlethousands of years old yes and those handsome Moors all in white andturbans like kings asking you to sit down in their little bit of a shopand Ronda with the old windows of the posadas 2 glancing eyes a latticehid for her lover to kiss the iron and the wineshops half open at nightand the castanets and the night we missed the boat at Algeciras thewatchman going about serene with his lamp and O that awful deepdowntorrent O and the sea the sea crimson sometimes like fire and theglorious sunsets and the figtrees in the Alameda gardens yes and allthe queer little streets and the pink and blue and yellow houses andthe rosegardens and the jessamine and geraniums and cactuses andGibraltar as a girl where I was a Flower of the mountain yes when I putthe rose in my hair like the Andalusian girls used or shall I wear ared yes and how he kissed me under the Moorish wall and I thought wellas well him as another and then I asked him with my eyes to ask againyes and then he asked me would I yes to say yes my mountain flower andfirst I put my arms around him yes and drew him down to me so he couldfeel my breasts all perfume yes and his heart was going like mad andyes I said yes I will Yes.



Public Domain Tales: Ulysses: Book Seven (2024)
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